My future paradise happy psychedelic life without the parasites, haters, users, abusers, and creeple of this hate organization. I envision on my future vision board Happy flowing peace-loving wonderful, effervescent loving and creative colorful people thriving, alive and striving for joy on this planet and for all the universe of flowing Love and abundance of positive flowing joy.

 INTO THE LIGHT

The sundowners

Terrorist Report: March 26, 2021. Want all Ambrosia: World Leave Me Alone. Same day later on as earlier posts. Seeing brown stains poured onto my patio--and glue/brown stain stuck on the patio tiles which come off mostly when I scrub with metal bristle brushes--endless work to clean up stinking toxic filth that is also sprayed into my refrigerator, the area around my stove and everywhere on the walls--stinking brown fungus stains that are sprayed with sticky stuff like a glue mixture that is very thin but glues the brown stains into the tiles or walls.

WORLD LEAVE ME ALONE

 

It's just endless hate, sickness, stupidity and vile ugliness directed at me by people who are instructed to "hate" me as they go off laughing obtaining Grammy's and Academy Awards and being nominated into President position and/or just obtaining a new free something or they don't care, they get to abuse someone and get away with it and it's just filth surrounding me continuously.

Stupid sick people being promoted how can anyone actually seriously protect this system?

I must stop getting on this internet because I am seriously being prompted to write--so idiots, whores and sleazy skanks can continue to torture me for writing about how sick their "masters" are, which they strive strenuously to emulate and are as ugly and sinister as any decaying animal road kill but like zombies they are miraculously alive.

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At stores I was surrounded by rancid and rotten ugly old Europigape men and their rotten Thai slaves blocking my path, jumping into me from around every corner as I pushed my cart slowly and gingerly around all the aisle corners. Rotten ugly disgusting putrid whoremongering old white Europigape men who are in Thailand on their rotten pensions from the endless lucre their rotten Nazi countries obtained by genocide and the Holocaust. I can't describe how they behave but it's just like the accounts from people who were attacked in all wars and genocides except in the middle of society in a store--

and ugly basterds that they are, the younger versions, including American tourists, are as rancid and rotten just younger with more beauty treatments because the money has exponentially increased in all these decades of the 4th Reich instituting it's rancid grip around the world.

When I descry, write with rage about cement pouring over the planet, I refer to Phuket and how it was so lovely when I moved here first. All the beautiful areas I used to love are now covered with box cement structures for rotten pig apes to come and get their nearly free, but ultimately cheap whore vacations with prostitutes at a mere $20 per pop (for Europigapes the cost is less if you transfer money to Europigape increments of corruption). My hate for Europigapes is from over a decade of being attacked by at least 500 people per trip to a few stores, a mere 4 hours of driving around and shopping in stores which equates to almost 100 people attacking me per hour, and that alone is a conservative estimate.

It really is no better in America. I went to Orlando in 2012 and it was horrific, the Americans are fully enmeshed into this system. It was blacks and Latinos attacking me more viciously than the whites who stood back as the minorities did the nastier jobs, while they stared at the white pig apes with adoration and love and utter worship as they attacked me (for no reason) with absolute hate. The bigot white pig apes stood back silently smug and composed as their rotten minorities did the very ugly sinister dirty and foul work. I can't express how this is copied in H-wood and how disgusting it all is to see this endlessly repeated from the lowest scumbag nasty place to the wealthiest in Whorewood.

I am waiting for the day when someone will actually "hate" me for something nasty I have actually done rather than dumbed down idiots attacking me and told to "hate" because they want a promotion. That also includes the people who are supposed to represent "art" and "culture" in the media and in politics. The dumbing down trickle down idiocracy is truly anathema to the United States which is supposed to lead the world as a Free society.

well, I have written for over a decade adn I remain in this situation and the pig apes who have tortured me are still in their mansions but now with a new suitcase of awards and prizes and are in higher positions than ever before, after having tortured ideas out of me with not only no thanks or payment but my life nearly destroyed my body scarred up and them with more and more and more beauty treatments plastic surgeries and endless lead roles in every single facet of their rotten nasty lives.

I just want to get away from them (not "just" ) but in terms of having anything to do with anyone who is part of this global organization---to find at least people who are somewhat not pigs, whores and hyena ape hybrids on this planet.

to just live in peace with my cat La Moux returned alive and healthy and happy, if she is still alive. To have my own home and my own money and for this group to be stopped from this tyranny forced upon me. For protection and to live in peace in prosperity and to just get this group of stinking foul ugliness and hate and rotten evil putridity off me.

Meanwhile, I continue to have to try to heal the nightly burning/peeling away layers of my skin on my toes that the terrorists inflict while I am being teleported to hate and "trauma" torture skits so my consciousness is not in my prime body but instead teleported elsewhere as they cut into my prime body and rape and abuse and insult my ephemeral teleported twin body (which is lacking in some essential physical capabilities like vision and sensation and awareness, like being in a dazed tunnel vision and I suspect much of this is due to, in part, from the technology narrowing field of vision and acuity). I know NONE of you reading this either will do anything or cares to do anything to stop; this crime against me. That they are dismembering me is apparently of no concern for anyone reading my posts and the guilty are left to be promoted for doing this series of hate crimes while they are stealing all ideas they can from my writing. They are praised for it. I am innocent I have committed no crime either against them or against society except for wanting to compete and not willing to back down when insulted, threatened, raped and robbed. They just want absolute compliance and it is a shame to US society that so many others comply to this system of discrimination, torture, and murder.

I am still going to write about this even though none of you does any single thing to stop this. The smug gloating smiles of the bigot Nazi women who watch as I get deformed and mutilated nightly--scars are now all over my body, covering every inch of my skin and body and my legs are crooked, the bones are literally crooked. Every toe has been broken, part of my uterus has been cut out, my fingernails on two fingers are now almost dead and I can't use them due to YEARS of metal objects inserted underneath the cuticles every single night without exception so the nerve endings have literally been severed completely--and nails are in shreds and won't grow back. My toes are now being cut to the bone and have been every night for months--that is making me paralyzed but none of you can give a damn or a cent to help me live in safety instead of this enforced poverty.  Half of my hair has been chemically-treated out and is been in a half bald state for over 4 years due to the endless attacks on my body. For 2 decades or probably more like 3 my hair has been smothered with damaging chemicals night after night. My arms and legs are covered with scars, spider veins from creeps going into my room while I am comatose and teleported who pound do hard on my legs that the capillaries explode. My spine and hips have been put out of alignment since I was very young and my vertebrae has been fractured in two areas of my spine and my spine is completely crooked from the hardening poisons which have pulled my spine out of alignment. They also caused vertebrae to not only fracture but to stick out in one area (after a surgery to "correct" the curvature). 

They have been cutting into my teeth after nearly crushing them out after they forced an accident--and for over a year they cut into the gum tissue to make the teeth fall out--I sleep with packaging tape covering my face to try to stop this, tape wound around every toe, my feet and all over my arms and legs. I have made a sleeping cap with many layers and two clasps--they open the clasps and then insert these nodules onto my skull to use the teleportation hell of abuse and hate they have forced upon my sleeping state for--at least a decade but probably much longer. I wonder if I have had a real dream for most of my life at this point.

What is my crime that for decades and decades people in huge seething with hate groups have forced this upon me and while others are may be against it have been aware  of this and yet never stop it?

The answer to that question is that the racism of this group is so over-arching that they want to create a death torture and rape prison system where people appear in a normal state of living yet are being put into prisons because they represent a threat to the bigot system to so many others participate in for their security and comfort. As I watch the millions of people in the news being disenfranchised due to the pandemic I can see the years of people who have attacked me now suffering due to the huge increase in wealth that the creeple who are teleporting and torturing me are swimming in wealth due to the profit that they have amassed during this crisis. I see clearly that there is a correlation between the complicity of the pawns and the death system that finally engulfs them but they remain trying to go back to more worshipping the wealthy who have obtained their wealth from posturing, lies, bs and death squad activities. Glamorized and offered plastic surgeries and luxury imagery they remain as if in a bubble of entitlement and the more vicious their attacks are the more they are protected and shielded and the more they are idolized by the public. I wrote months ago and then even more recently that I believe that the virus is a de-population program designed by criminal fascist Nazis (I did not write all this out explicitly exactly in that line of thinking but in that same vein--as my words always come out in hacked rambling but all the words are combined in the mixed-up paragraphs that hackers destroyed nevertheless). I believe that Elon Musk is definitely behind much of the death and  his technology is being used to create genocide after genocide--his technology of brain/body computer interface is tied to his endless participation in this crime against me--with all the microchip implants and all the drugging and all the groups helping to thwart my every move and activity, keeping me in a prison being deformed, robbed, raped tortured and slowly poisoned and abused to death.

And he's smiling hugely now--his factor in China that opened just the month or a month prior to the onset of the virus seems to be that he could so easily, with his technology--spread this virus through air-borne sources of his technologies and in the end--he's the richest man on the planet. If people think that this smug greaseball is anything but the most vicious and deadly and sinister CEO of a huge technological death machine they had better think just a bit more on the really dark side of the people who are being put in control over technology, who then become media stars who are put on red carpets along with celebrities (who mostly are part of the Nazi and Mafia cartels--those I have met)

and of course, this blog is being censored who is reading my post but the very pig apes who are the hyenas who are inflicting all this hate upon me--because they want another Holocaust and another genocide and this technology is just the portal to the ways and means of disseminating more hate and more violence with the aim of creating localized death chambers into each pod of every living target's private space instead of carting them off in trains to death camps. Or mass graves or trenches where they are shot. This is a clean way of killing targets while all appears like a normal death. Well, they all know this, you all know this, and so I remain writing about this to their delight, being now blocked from publishing what was left of this blog which was never put on Google dashboard instead it was always blocked--but even what little was blocked is now completely blocked because of a fascist Nazi actor who has infiltrated so completely that the "Radical liberals" as the Repuglicans call them are in a debt of gratitude for helping them to appear like good ole boys for the Nazi network as they begin their fresh assault on Democracy for the next new term--California of course getting a huge bulk of the money that "The American People" actually need but the wealthy need it more for their endless exploitation and their need to push for electronic means of genocide and oppression and murder. Thus I remain so censored and the future victims are fully engrossed in helping the exploiters because they assume that the benefits and incentives and the joy of attacking someone else instead of them being the eternal victim--well, they assume they are now part of the power structure and are "safe". How many of these types have participated in this attack upon me and how many of you reading this are part of that group of future victims of the death that your good "friends" in this hate group will eventually inflict upon you or your descendants, once you finally hand them all obedience and subservience and all you can give heart, body and soul for them to suck out with your willingness and complete permission?

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Why has no one ever informed me of my status or openly ever defended me?

Why is NO ONE coming to defend Democracy or Freedom yet the people attacking me can only blather about how they are fighting to do just that? Why is it that Nazism has only increased for the past 4 years and why is it that everything I have written of warning people about in connection to the end results of this technology and the creeple associated with--all has come true, yet I am not only silenced absolutely and discredited but also what I write is STOLEN and then adapted to the Big Lies that they all put out-these actors and politicians and media mind control constructs (they are very talented at what they do, out of all of these people attacking me I would have to say that the mind influencers even on YouTube are very well-informed and work probably the hardest and certainly are much more capable than the performing con artists in H-wood). As for the politicians, they are more elusive and I don't know how hard they work but you can see clearly that the news anchors work diligently and hard and should not be so criticized even if they may be fake (some of them).

I can respect them for the sheer amount of well-done product moreso than the actors who receive millions upon millions of dollars for muttering lines from scripts who turn around to be handed every top position because they are presenting a false reality of hipness but fully welcoming in every exploiter from Europ-a-land possible if they can get a mutual huge deal or mansion or promotion out of it. It's just so endlessly sickening to have to see this as I am a kind of purist who believes that actually caring about the values of a free and Democratic society should be of prime importance to the qualifications for putting those held in high esteem to actually defend and support. 

I am always chagrined at their criminal and hypocritical stance and the corruption and the ugliness that they are truly enhancing onto the planet. The movies are very bad as well, for the most part. I am incapable of truly writing unless I get off the laptop, and then if I hand write my body is attacked with nervous system attacks so my hand clenches up and I cannot write as it becomes shaky to keep my hand steady--it becomes impossible after about one page of hand writing while my brain is under attack anyway.

If I were to try to obtain a kind of tape recorder to try to just vocalize my thoughts, it may improve this situation a bit, I know that every electronic attack is probable and that would also be broken or destroyed or blocked. 

No one ever does anything anyway. You all think this is great you all love these haters they love you. They want to force a BABY on me and that is a hate situation that you all love apparently too.

These haters love to watch me turn from a happy and loving person endlessly emitting the hate that they pump into my every moment with their swaths of hate people doing hateful things while they laugh and love every minute of it--as all or most of you do too, apparently. 

What will it take for anyone to ever protect me against this group of hate? They keep having their most ugly and hateful sinister stupid minions put babies in front of me at every turn around every aisle in every store there is some idiot with a baby--the sign of their further exploitation of me from these hate and ugly, most undeserable rotten parasitic rapist pig ape hyena whores and their even more insidious rotten whore females accompanying them--who are all "feminists" who want "equality" and "freedom" to be in top executive positions as well, as long as the "black" minions know their place, far below them idolizing them and fully laughing with glee alongside them when they attack me or some other target--even if that means their own children or friends. 

And so, I appeal to this world that if there is anybody out there who is not some skank creep attacking me, please get them and their baby demands off me--my only sensation concerning them is that I wish them utter destruction and will never want anything for them but death--that is the amount of violence they have committed against me and all I can feel for this group of rotten cesspool crap by now.

By the time I got through typing the last blog post below, I had spent over 30 minutes backspacing and retyping almost every word in a sequence--the hacker terrorists keep blocking the keys as my brain is being put into some mode ripe for subliminal coercion and insers of hate phrases and words as part of a further discrediting scheme (ALWAYS used by this group every time I attempt to write). Meanwhile, these meaningless parasites operating in the film industry, the media and whatever else (like the US Government) continue to scour what they can out of my writing to steal--even if it's a phrase but something different from their usual claprap stuff in semantics and persuasion) and ideas, phrases that are original because I strive to write originally as much as possible) and, my hands can't move correctly my brain is so under attack motor skills are blocked and the keyboard is so blocked I can't type as the subliminals operate as my anger increases because of this endless injustice endlessly aimed at me. Every single avenue of expression is blocked to me, while pig apes are stealing my words and ideas to promote themselves as being fights for democracy and freedom w hile they participate in a death culture of genocidal fascist Nazi racism in order to bring this universal hate system into full operation with the pretense still intact that they "care" and are "fighting" for "you". You all allow them to suppress me, but you still assume it's never going to happen to "you" too.

 I argue strongly that you are wrong but none of you cares, as long as you feel comfortable that you can obtain endless vacations and have prostituted slaves cleaning your houses for nearly free --the immigrants t hat enter your country due to the death squads that are created by the powerful in order to achieve this huge gap between the haves and have-nots. 

Well, this is not a new idea at all. however, the technology seems new but it's been in use against me for most of my life, and that is now longer than it should have been embraced by society and kept a full secret and still left silenced. Now a fascist Nazi out of Europ-a-land is making sure that hate and hostility follow me around and people are more nasty in stores and the censorship is more enhanced and this is embraced fully by the politicians like the mafia "Italian-American" who always slurs in a drunken on power state that she is working for "The American People" but operating with an international cartel of crime and Nazi bigotry to obtain millions or billions of dollars in deals. 

New oil pipelines perhaps in Alaska for rotten political leadership to click their endless bottomless cups of cesspool wine as they party celebrating their new billion/trillion dollar deals they made with bigot Nazis enmeshed in the international Nazi /Communist circles based in Ho-wood?

It's all too disgusting and I am being silenced and threatened and tortured for writing on my already silenced blog and the oppressions have grown because I clicked on a movie made by some fascists who are promoting a robotic idiot put into leadership position because he so completely represents the Nazi ideal of posturing corroded meat.

I am so completely dizzy from the effects of mind control blocking my brain and/or damaging brain cells or perhaps it's cutting oxygen off or blocking neural firing (every single word I must backspace and fight to get out due to hacker terrorism).

I am like floating and spinning around but sitting here just being blasted by some kind of electronic brain/body altering technology. Hackers are now inserting a blue bar over what I am typing and I have to stop now--the blocks are now too much to handle and this has all come out as a completely rambling rant instead of a well-ordered writing exposition. I cannot write under these influences. That is the point of their attack of course. I write because every time I look at the news I see clear examples of how badly this planet is being run and I must see personally the corruption and lack of skill from those elected into power or put there by nefarious corrupt groups who are so irresponsible and incapable of understanding, depth or meaning and the destruction to the planet and to society is now so over-archingly apparent and I must write this to try to get people to stop just blindly following and obeying these absolute incompetents and just because they have the degree, the diploma, the experience does not mean they are capable of understanding these technologies or the symptoms of destruction that their failed policies have wrought upon the planet (they succeeded in bringing death and destruction,, which really is their ultimate goal--watch the video in my last post to see why).

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The hacking is now very horrible. Almost every key I press won't operate and there is a blue bar covering the words I type so I can't see the red underlines of wrong spelling until I have written the sentence--so I can't even backspace I have to click on the sentence above--and then when I click on one space they move the cursor to another word so I click on the wrong space and have to correct even that. My thoughts are in such a jumble my brain is under so much attack--this is all just a hate rant but it's very legitimate anyway. And it has been put into a hate rant by this hate technology by these hate people you all love. One of the defining terms of these hate groups is to "love" each other and to hate their enemies/targets. That is the only way they can consolidate power is through saying they all love each other and they MUST have an enemy to target in order not to tear each other's throats out (but in private they do so anyway and so in the private realm they are viciously at one another when they lack slaves or victims--which is a psychological reason why they also badly need to reinstitute slavery--).

I am now too completely dizzy to write. When I get up I am completely ill as if I've been poisoned--the tech is very dangerous that they are aiming into my brain in or der to completely block brain functioning--it's very very bad stuff and very deadly yet you all love these people so you can have people like me to hate--but the hate is you and your beloved hate leaders.

You are destroying the planet in so many ways and you should be stopped immediately. Who will do this when people lik eme are being completely silenced and you all allow it, even if you agree that there is something wrong at some level (i.e. you might lose your lives or wealth due to the impact of globAl warming.) IT WILL TAKE MORE THAN JUST PUTTING UP SOME GREEN TECHNOLOGY to stop the real destruction and I suggest that a total paradigm shift from adulating fascists and rapists and Nazis is what it will take.

5 minutes after writing/publishing my last post, getting up from this spot at the laptop I am so dizzy from the brain attack by this remote tech/mincrochip implant interface that I feel like I'm literally about to faint form dizziness and sickness. The attack on my brain really causes a great amount of hate and churlish words to come out like a torrent of hate and spittle wrath. I really need an kind of blocking material to wear around my head while I write I really am at a loss as how to protect myself from these endless attacks. The longer you wait to begin to think about fighting these people and their death system, the more the threat to yourself and the planet grows. This is not exaggeration or even an appeal to get you to THINK about how you are helping IDIOTS to destroy the planet but just to let you know that what you think of as a fun game yo uget to play to discriminate and torture and rape and murder is really going to be used against you and already has been used against you.

 But looking at the Europigapes here in Phuket for over a decade smug, laughing and smiling as their nasty minoities always imitate but exaggerated the thrill of attacking, the "power" hormonal high of it all, the money the free deals the promotions that defy talent or capability but only a willingness to attack using this system and the skills necessary to lie, to be duplicitous and mean and petty, raping and robbing and killing for bigot nazis to take over the world. AS the planet is dying from the endless absorbtion of cement, steal, aluminum and pollutants so is the spirit of the planet absolutely defiled and on this track--the stupid movies that keep coming out are a pure diversionary tactic to get people to really stop thinking and pondering existence or meaning. 

I am very much in a dizzy haze of mind control and this is coming out as a foggy hate diatribe, wandering from thought-to-thought without a directed course. I really feel ill from this attack on my brain.

How long before people put an end to this recently new technology which so many millions of hissing, DIRTY foul and filthy creeple are embracing and being promoted into huge comfortable cesspools of compliance?

Terrorist report: March 26, 2021. The increase in the stifling of my written content, aka censorship and depriving of Freedom of Speech (this is not hate speech unqualifying the 1st Amendment). The endless discrimination and attacks at stores by agents posing as the employees, but fully allowed by managers and staff. All funded by incompetent leaders who are unfit to lead. This post degenerated into a hate rant with insults but the hacking is so bad-just another component of this block to my free speech rights--from rapists and users and professional liars you all keep putting into office as the planet is dying from their utter incompetence--but, I am under "mind control" as I type, and the mounting frustration due to the hacking creates an opening for the mind control to exert negative influence on what I type and think. It comes out as hate ranging but it's more to do with the mind control affecting my brain and motor skills and the keyboard and the frustration THAT NONE OF YOU EVER STOPS THIS OR PROTECTS ME just like you can't protect anything unless it begins to affect your complacent greedy life consumption and exploitation for your own gain. That must go for most of you since i know many are reading my posts but are part of this hate system. I don't know if this blog readership has been narrowed from just hackers to a select group of the inner circle of the worst circle jerks attacking me.

One of these dusky creepy musky billionaires has attacked me in this teleportation system and fully yearns to obtain slavery through technocratic means. He is so completely adulated by America (yet he's from a fascist, Nazi colony in Africa) and ...still being cheered on because he's wealthy and how people just love the criminals who are labels as the glamorous ultra-wealthy at the expense of actually thinking about what these parasites actually do to the planet and to people--the people who applaud such types really want genocides and death systems and gang stalking and hate to flourish. 

 

Pandemic Profiteers: How U.S. Billionaires Like Amazon’s Jeff Bezos Saw Wealth Grow by $1.3 Trillion

(Democracy Now. March 25, 2021)

More and more functions are being blocked by terrorist hackers on this laptop. I now am not able to copy and insert any photos onto this blog, which is already blocked by a 3rd party service (the information for which has been blocked after I first obtained information on another browser a few days ago. Upon trying to retrieve the information for the service which is connected to monitoring this page--the IP address was immediately blocked from my view as is the name of the company which acts as an internet hosting service--it was made available on my Maxthon browser but not a single bit of information shows up on Google Chrome (this browser I am using now).

I wrote my last post and as always, which functioned the last time I used it last month--I copied and saved a photo and then after 4 attempts I realized that not only the photo was not being copied but no photos are being coped on this site any longer. A similar icon placed on the left-hand upper corner of the empty space where the boundaries of the photo should be--where you can expand, the blue boxes where you can change the shape of the photo and the lines of the computer program so you can alter the size of the photo and the editing boxes all appear but the same icon appears when I try to download a photo as happened when I tried to see my blog on Maxthon--which is the symbol that I clicked on to obtain information on the IP Address blocking this blog. 

And now, after having written just that, just now (endlessly backspacing as hackers are deleting letters I type while typing, blocking the space bar and inserting letters and making the keyboard so stiff I must pound down almost with my entire hand/arm to get anything out)

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I went to another store to buy some essential oil, a shop that is a very small space but has good products. I had contacted the larger central base of the store through the internet and was told that I could order online and pick items up at the store in Rawai. I told them I would just go into the store and order there. I had gone into that store last month at a completely random time and a friendly Thai woman was there very helpful and instructing me that the items I wanted were not in their stock but she could order and pick up the things next week. 

But having pre-planned to go to this store, I got instead the usual Thai woman who is there whenever I plan on going to this shop--instead of the real woman who works there on a daily basis. Every store I enter in a pre-planned state has terrorist agents waiting to attack me and help perpetrate the dozens of people surrounding me (at various times within my trip into each store) to assist in their attacks upon me or they do it themselves when I pay and check items out.)

She was there in his nasty, insulting stupid way as usual. The item I had wanted to buy was of course not on the shelf (the terrorist organization takes items away and then forces a hate/nasty situation of me trying to talk to these Thai skanks who are the fakes acting like they actually work in these stores. This rotten creep then told me that they were out of stock as if she were not fully prepared to say everything in advance--(all are coached beforehand and then are further given instructions through voice-to-skull technology or however it's being done--they are merely puppets mouthing what they are told to say--this goes for the sophisticated millionaires in H -wood too, there is no difference just the level of wealth and attainment in society--but there are no other differences between the prostitutes of Phuket and the whores in Whorewood and in Congress too who participate in this hate crime not only against me but against the planet).

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She told me that the manager of the store had moved and she could not order any products. I gave her a quizzical and kind of angry look, she then stuttered that she can try to phone, which she finally did. I then asked her if the store was going to close and she said it had stopped ordering products and might close, then 2 minutes later said that they had ordered three huge boxes and that the store was going to remain open. I asked her to order three bottles of something and she asked me for a deposit--which is not something the store demands--as they are out of stock and they need these items anyway in the store. (they take the goods out of the store). I then began to tell her that I had emailed the main store and they told me I could order ahead of time and pick up the goods in the Rawai store--and she began telling me she "no understan" and began interrupting me as my voice then was "tweaked" by the throat implant so it constricted, I choked my throat suddenly had stopped functioning as I coughed and had to stop talking--because I was telling her that she was a liar in other words by just telling her that I was very capable of ordering by email but she was lying and telling me that she could not order anything--as the woman who I had worked with last month did immediately on the phone, who was polite, friendly and informative and spoke English--lo and behold. As for the nasty creep above, the agent: she wears a thick coating of make-up for this store which sells natural beauty products. She appears shiny and without a blemish when she dons her mask of friendly chirpy terror agent with the white fascist Nazis in the store blocking my every move and making loud comments while she most cheerily assists in the attack upon me (the usual minority minion stance of being absolutely delighted to be invited into the "power structure" rather than a victim of it). Yesterday her makeup was off. A blotchy complexion and pimple scars marked her face. This was and is the reality--and her pettiness and meanness was in likewise full form as she began to nearly hiss at me. I have a most nasty Europ-a actor attacking me now, and the increase in hostility has arisen due to his Nazi network that encompasses the globe--which has so beguiled the American version of Nazism to the extent that he was allowed to reap the harvest of a huge heist of the California coffers of power and still holds many a purse string in that arena of "power" which was accessed by Pelosi and Harris only in the last few months--that huge deal they made but I have no details only that they operated to attack me so this global network of stupidity and hate can award more dirty agents posing with all their makeup and posturing intact--but underneath all they are are little dirty whores like the skank who attacked me whose makeup cake was off for that day because there are no customers during this pandemic. 

I silenced her by a wave of my hand as she kept saying she no understand and "WHAT?" as I began telling her that I had contacted the main email account for the larger chain of this store, which has a global retail service in many other countries. Before she began to lie with every breath this hissing prostituted rancid thing uttered from her dirty mouth--so similar to the people who teleport me and their hate skits and their nasty lies and the millions who adore them for it--such a death wish the planet has and so charmed they are by fakes posturing with their plastic coatings that hide huge blotches of ugliness, decay and the nascent markings of death who can lie so well and claim they are selling beauty and nature and life with loving, kind smiles as long as they can get the lucre that sustains the lie they will live to perpetuate death and they don't care. That means you, whomever you are.

That was me until I had to analyze this system since it's killing me. You only know that it's killing you because the planet's raped life arteries are rebelling and I think nature is trying to rid the planet of the filth that you and your group are and do to the planet and to the life and soul of the planet.

But back to this most wonderful store with it's natural products, essential oils and the dirty and disgusting things they allow so some Europigapes from England (the manager) can obtain more free promotions for their unnatural system of slavery, prostituted Thai skanks and the American version also controlled obviously by English Monarchist Imperialistic aims. (Much of this is due to English invasion of America but furthered by other EU interests such as Germany, Austria, France and the rest of the pile).

Oh, alas poor America is dying due to this pile of incompetence. I wanted to add this part about how I silenced her after my throat was so constructed I could not get any air out. This group has such monitoring of my every movement that if I am driving at night in a remote spot in Phuket and sing or take a swig of water on my motorbike, there is no problem singing or swallowing. However, in the confines of my torture/surveillance room or anywhere in public if I begin to talk to defend myself or take a drink or eat food--the constrict my vocal chords or my throat muscles to make me choke so I can't sing, drink, eat or talk. 

They laugh about all of this. I want to put the equation into your limited brains that what they do to me is being done to you is being done to the planet.

But I walked out of that shop without a word--I have gone there for a few years and this skank is the person who has always been there except for the one time I went there at a completely random time driving past and making a sudden decision--where I was treated with warm smiles (perhaps not genuine, but still of the saleperson pitch friendliness) and, I was offered help and obtained service without a problem. Now, because I had decided to go there a day before, I was beset by a prescribed script of lies and hate by this woman who made a point of looking ugly and tediously repulsive in appearance--her hair also was frazzled and looked ugly and acted in the same ugly, mean and petty manner (simply echoing the real personalities of the white Nazi bigot filth that tells this ignoramus what to do, as they are also dumb whores performing the acts that they are instructed to do by the very wealthy who just laugh as their stupid puppets perform every act of stupidity but are told they are noble and beautiful and glamorous for being so aristocratic in behavior--crushing other people down is one of the huge hallmarks apparently of this most "elegant" stance but they are just ugly creeps with a lot of superficial coating disguising the rotten decay that they conceal so well in their every fake appearance. Unfortunately, being attacked by so many of them and for so long, this is what I have had to see of them and I know that many people just want to believe in some glorious lie of supremacy so they can have something or someone to control them--handing responsibility over to people but unaware that these idiots will kill them at any second for more to steal out of them. However, as I continue to write the hacking and blocks to my brain along with the mind control making me pour out ideas (for these incompetent, meaningless parasitic rapist creeps to steal while what I type is censored, blocked and made unavailable and I obtain no money or acknowledgement but only more and more abuse and torture so I write more and more about how sick and disgusting they are--which they then steal to promote themselves as fighting against what I describe, but using my words and descriptions and analyses as their own as they have very little introspection and very little real artistic talent except for posturing and lying--

but still, the politicians--throw them also into that category but adapt it to political hacktivism

and so I walked out of the store without saying goodbye or thank you--it was all I could do. The seething black energy of this rotten parasitic creep remained a vacuum in the air as I felt her black emptiness glaring at me from behind while I walked out the door. I know that every internet email and attempt I make to connect with anyone is always beset by hacking intervention so I cant get a single thing done on this planet of commerce. Trying to obtain these products at this low pandemic state of economic despair and this ugly lying wench who is such a rotten and ugly person who I must deal with--along with this rotten landlord and the people in the stores--with the posturing plastic-surgery white pig-ape prostituted creeps making grandiose postures of supremacy and oh how they are enjoying how well their politicians are fully allowing this to continue unabated year after year.

I have to investigate some way to begin another website or blog which has some kind of contact service because this blog is now censored and blocked in probably every way possible. Only the interior circle jerks of these rapist whore creeps who are so incompetent for the levels of power you have ascribed them except that their competence of creating more misery, more death, more malfeasance more corruption and more graft is their most obvious trait from this position of truth that I must have to see their every ugly blemish and rotten behind-the-mask vantage of what they so clearly are but no one wants that reality they just want hideously plastered fakes controlling their ultimate demise-as if the death instinct just purely takes over when it comes to fantasy and putting people into power. They think/you think you are benefitting from these bigot Nazis (black, white, etc) being put into power to play their respective roles in the grand farce of their huge plastic-coated smile theft of the planet and the oppression of so many people that millions are dying on this planet due to their policies).

They are skanky, rotten and sick--and this is the kind of crap I must deal with thanks to the full participation of the United States governing body of the US Congress and it's Executive Branch--president after president allow these filthy sick psychos to continue to discriminate and torture, rape and murder people they don't like. 

This is just a small example, of which I have been writing of for years and years without it ending and no one ever intervening. My last post was regarding the CONSEQUENCES of continuing to allow these rotten parasites into high levels of power. However, if they turn "green" they will still have the rape mentality of exploiting anything they can possibly and seemingly very easily take advantage of. 

I am fighting back and the increase in blocks to my every internet reach for expression is increasing every day. 

There is still only silence on the other end, and now this blog is further blocked and silenced and muted by people who have been put into power who devastated the economy of the State they were chosen in only because they are so adept at lying and stealing and posturing and people want to worship death so much and liars and rapists.

Dirty, foul water sullied by the dirty, foul minds and hearts of the prevailing filthy rape culture power structure of greed and complacency and inherent stupidity as to the nature of reality. Like the rape of the land and it's backlash of destruction to rid the land of these parasitic rapists and defilers, the mind control I have tried to warn people about but am further tortured for writing about is another form of this type of penetration into the sanctity of life and of culture. Why do people assume that the rape of the land is as okay as the rape of women, children or other men? When the planet is dying from the pollution of these ignorant and essentially stupid violators, why do so many on the planet continue to bolster with support, and applaud these rapists and promote them so often while the planet is dying from rape culture that they use to oppress and pollute the population so only THEY can remain in power? Can anyone equate the destruction of the planet with anything other than a "handful" of corporate headliner personalities? The mind control I experience is only a collateral of the philosophical landscape that these celebrities and politicians endorse and participate in: While they all champion every cause of righteous protection of humanity and nature, they INVEST IN and help to create all that pollutes not only the waters but the vacuums of the degraded minds of the polluted waters of the spirit and the soul and the fluids encompassing the brains of the supporters--meaning most of you reading this and your endless networks of greed, complacency and the lemmings going along and attacking people like me who are NOT GUILTY OF THESE UNIVERSAL CRIMES or of any serious crimes--yet you love seriously deranged and incompetent rapists and violators and users and abusers and LIARS-- THESE ARE THE PURVEYORS of rape of the land, the waters and of the culture. They pave the way with black tar roads for destruction, for selfishness, for greed and profit and control. Why do you continue to idolize them when it's clear they are 100% fake? That is the only unsullied and undirty thing about them: the clarity at which they perpetually lie.

Written on Facebook today. The overlapping cataclysmic destruction of personal freedom combined with the overarching and obvious whirlwind of environmental seesawing catastrophes that has plagued--for one spotlighted focus--the United States in the last year (to confine the limit to the last year but the situation has been worsening for some time).

Over 40 tornados were identified in a few days in the United States in just one region last week. I have never heard of some natural occurrence so intense when it comes to Spring tornado season. The interlapping human drive for profit, plunder and the vulnerability of the soil, the earth, the rivers, the streams, like the "weaker sex" so vulnerable to being raped and exploited, confined and beaten and controlled--the driving force of domination over the planet has ensued in a raging torrent of retribution from the planet's natural preservation adaptation to the ineptitude of the plunging dagger of "Man's" desire to extract and control all possible. 

This extends to mind control operations which is another spiritual, physical and in my case, an obvious rape cycle of ignorant and stupid greedy men and their even more rapacious women enablers cheering them on as the cheerleading squadron from the pits of the blackest cesspool polluting the pristine waters of the sanctity of life and of society and it's fabric of cohesion.

-------------

Water Is Life. Can We Protect It?

(Cavenaugh, John; Broad, Robin. March 17, 2021. Institute for Policy Studies).

https://ips-dc.org/water-is-life-can-we-protect-it/

------------------------

Just the simple first sentence---not opinion but fact--is enough to get a momentum into a thought process of what is truly important on this planet. Contrast that with the prevailing belief system of what is considered a luxury lifestyle of entitlement that creates the greed of corruption of decay of complacency of ultimate death and destruction for all. Not all can fly to Cancun when the s hits the fan. You can't feed crops with oil and you can't drink fracking waste deposits--sand and tar-contaminated water.

Later on in the opinion piece, I will quote what is more important: what has succeeded in other countries (less developed but more sophisticated when it comes to understanding REALITY of the planet and it's ecosystem and the unconcern for the profits of billionaires who exploit and destroy and in not adulating them or their endless grabs for power and money--the American Dream which is a nightmare of death. Fueled by stupidity, greed, corruption and lies with smiling happy faces putting out endless rhetoric about The American People and Justice and Freedom and Equality while screwing down into death everything possible that can be exploited, sucked dry and discarded into a huge, overflowing pile of death rotting and polluting the planet with oozing decay and destruction. That also is the interior landscape of the mentality of these "ruling" rapist whores hoards that control the United States with their fascist, Nazi allies who they partner with. This post is only a shadow of a reflection of what their greed and stupidity have brought about. The economic and societal damage is far less observant and especially when there is a sophisticated series of technologies and death squad gang stalking groups to stop all questionable acts by people like me who they are silencing and torturing and many already have been assassinated by this evil, life-screw group of incompetent paper-pushing idiots with Ivy-League degrees or put into highest position on the planet for their incompetent lack of questioning authoritarian death policies and going along and getting paid and promoted for it.

--------------

"As we describe in our new book, The Water Defenders, communities across El Salvador fought back. They studied the science of mining and water, educated their neighbors, and organized farmers, priests, and international allies to speak out — even as some received death threats and four frontline water defenders were brutally assassinated.

These water defenders won over the most unlikely of allies, like a conservative archbishop alarmed by the dangers of cyanide. They even flew in a governor from the Philippines, who spoke first-hand about abuses by the same mining company, OceanaGold, in his province.

Against extraordinary opposition, these communities convinced their government in 2017 to become the first in the world to ban all metals mining to save their rivers.

Today the United States faces a similar reckoning as El Salvador.

The Texas freeze that left millions without water exposed the desperate need to rein in fossil fuel firms, retrofit and weatherize millions of homes, and upgrade our water infrastructure.

There is an opportunity to do just that as our nation emerges from the COVID-19 pandemic. After the American Rescue Plan, Congress’s next big relief bill will focus on building a green infrastructure — and it can create tens of thousands of good, dignified union jobs in the process."

Annoying terrorist report (but not too serious but bad enuf): my brand new curtains--pretty, paisley sort of design with a dark pinkish panel on the interior edge--terrorists have ripped threads out of the material so there are shoddy and shabby rips in the fabric. Every beautiful and clean, new thing I get is ripped, torn, threads are removed, stains put in, scratches and etc. All I own is made shabby, stinking and broken down by these terrorist. In addition to NEVER being able to type at my regular speed (which is extremely fast) I also have not had a home or any property that has not been made broken down, with holes, rips tears, seams ripped out, stains put in, stinking and foul, etc etc. I keep waiting for some distant future time when this will be stopped so I am not besotted with stinking filth in my living space and my clothing is not stinking and ripped and with stains and holes and shredded and/or shrunk and my property is respected and not vandalized on a daily basis (or on any basis). Waiting for my country and it's govermment to respect the rule of law, the US Constitution and the UN Charter on Human Rights in respect to this never-ending ongoing situation of my targeting and attack and terror operation.

Men in Love (or not).

 *I am now writing/copying posts on both Facebook and on this blog. While writing on Facebook earlier today, that which I will copy here now, the hackers were blocking functions which I tried to copy from a text--I had to click on functions 4 times in a row and delete as many times in order to get a simply copy and paste function accomplished. I would write a commentary and that was deleted while I was writing it. This post below I am not going to re-read for hacker inserts or deletions or rewrites. The hacker terrorists also changed the order of the pasted text to jumble all in the wrong order of the book after I published. Often entire passages I pasted would be deleted after I copied them and stopped pressing the function keys/mouse to copy and paste. Parts that I added as commentary were deleted and the text appeared as a black block when I tried to copy as well. Entirely much time spent simply trying to correct the pages I was copying--which on Facebook now are completely out of alignment with the text due to hacker terrorist intervention and censorship and discrediting of me.

---------

Chapter One, page One, first paragraph.

"Ursula and Gudrun Brangwen sat one morning in the window-bay of their father's house in Beldover, working and talking. Ursula was stitching a piece of brightly-coloured embroidery, and Gudrun was drawing upon a board which she held on her knee. They were mostly silent, talking as their thoughts strayed through their minds.

*' Ursula," said Gudrun, " don't you really want to get married? " Ursula laid her embroidery in her lap and looked up. Her face was calm and considerate.

" I don't know," she replied. " It depends how you mean."

Gudrun was slightly taken aback. She watched her sister for some moments.

" Well," she said, ironically, " it usually means one thing ! But don't you think anyhow, you'd be — " she darkened slightly — *'in a better position than you are in now. ' '

A shadow came over Ursula's face.

" I might," she said. " But I'm not sure."

Again Gudrun paused, slightly irritated. She wanted to be quite definite.

" You don't think one needs the experience of having been married ? " she asked.

*' Do you think it need he an experience ? " replied Ursula.

" Bound to be, in some way or other," said Gudrun, coolly. " Possibly undesirable, but bound to be an ex- perience of some sort."

" Not really," said Ursula. *' More likely to be the end of experience."

Gudrun sat very still, to attend to this.

" Of course," she said, " there's that to consider." This brought the conversation to a close. Gudrun, almost angrily, took up her rubber and began to rub out part of her drawing. Ursula stitched absorbedly.

*' You wouldn't consider a good offer? " asked Gudrun.

" I think I've rejected several," said Ursula.

" Really ! " Gudrun flushed dark — " But anything really worth while ? Have you really? "

----------------

(my commentary) ..random page quotation from same source above: (very symbolic, hint hint)

"So again she drifted into the green-houses, looking at the lovely roses in their pots, and at the virginal cyclamens, and at the mystic white clusters of a creeper. The beauty, oh the beauty of them, and oh the paradisal bliss, if she should have a perfect bouquet..."

---------------

...near the end of the book, another randomly-selected passage: 

"Suddenly Ursula said to the company at large, in a bright voice, " Rupert and I are going to be married to-morrow."

Her father turned round, stiffly.

"You what?" he said.

" To-morrow ! " echoed Gudrun.

" Indeed ! " said the mother.

But Ursula only smiled wonderfully, and did not reply.

" Married to-morrow ! " cried her father harshly. " What are you talking about."

*' Yes," said Ursula. *' Why not }" Those two words, from her, always drove him mad. " Everything is all right — we shall go to the registrar's office — "

There was a second's hush in the room, after Ursula's blithe vagueness.

" Really, Ursula ! " said Gudrun.

"Might we ask why there has been all this secrecy?" demanded the mother, rather superbly.

" But there hasn't," said Ursula. " You knew."

"Who knew?" now cried the father. "Who knew? What do you mean by your ' you knew ' ? "

He was in one of his stupid rages, she instantly closed against him.

" Of course you knew," she said coolly. " You knew we were going to get married."

There was a dangerous pause.

" We knew you were going to get married, did we ? Knew ! Why, does anybody know anything about youy you shifty bitch ! "

" Father ! " cried Gudrun, flushing deep in violent re- monstrance. Then, in a cold, but gentle voice, as if to re- mind her sister to be tractable : " But isn't it a fearfully sudden decision, Ursula ?" she asked.

" No, not really," replied Ursula, with the same maddening cheerfulness. " He's been wanting me to agree for weeks — he's had the licence ready. Only I — I wasn't ready in myself. Now I am ready — is there anything to be dis- agreeable about?"

" Certainly not," said Gudrun, but in a tone of cold re- proof. " You are perfectly free to do as you like."

" ' Ready in yourself ' — yourself, that's all that matters, isn't it ! 'I wasn't ready in myself,' " he mimicked her phrase offensively. " You and yourself, you're of some im- portance, aren't you ?"

She drew herself up and set back her throat, her eyes shining yellow and dangerous.

" I am to myself," she said, wounded and mortified. '' I know I am not to anybody else. You only wanted to bully me-^you never cared for my happiness."

-----------------

...continued passage from above: He was leaning forward watching her, his face intense like a spark.

" Ursula, what are you saying ? Keep your tongue still," cried her mother.

Ursula swung round, and the lights in her eyes flashed.

" No, I won't," she cried. " I won't hold my tongue and be bullied. What does it matter which day I get mar- ried — what does it matter! It doesn't affect anybody but myself."

Her father was tense and gathered together like a cat about to spring.

" Doesn't it ?" he cried, coming nearer to her. She shrank away.

" No, how can it ?" she replied, shrinking but stubborn.

" It doesn't matter to me then, what you do — what be- comes of you ?" he cried, in a strange voice like a cry.

The mother and Gudrun stood back as if hypnotised.

" No," stammered Ursula. Her father was very near to her. '* You only want to "

She knew it was dangerous, and she stopped. He was gathered together, every muscle ready.

" What?" he challenged.

" Bully me," she muttered, and even as her lips were moving, his hand had caught her smack at the side of the face and she was sent up against the door.

" Father ! " cried Gudrun in a high voice, "it is im- possible I "

------------------------------

a page down in the text (she leaves her home and flies to her lover soon-to-be husband Birkin) 

" What is it, then ?" he asked.

Suddenly she broke away, wiped her eyes, regained her composure, and went and sat in a chair.

" Father hit me," she announced, sitting bunched up, rather like a ruffled bird, her eyes very bright.

"What for?" he said.

She looked away, and would not answer. There was a pitiful redness about her sensitive nostrils, and her quivering lips.

"Why?" he repeated, in his strange, soft, penetrating voice.

She looked round at him, rather defiantly.

" Because I said I was going to be married to-morrow, and he bullied me."

" Why did he bully you ?"

Her mouth dropped again, she remembered the scene once more, the tears came up.

" Because I said he didn't care — and he doesn't, it's only his domineeringness that's hurt — " she said, her mouth pulled awry by her weeping, all the time she spoke, so that he almost smiled, it seemed so childish. Yet it was not childish, it was a mortal conflict, a deep wound.

" It isn't quite true," he said. " And even so, you shouldn't say it."

" It is true — it is true," she wept, " and I won't be bul- lied by his pretending it's love — when it isnH — he doesn't care, how can he — no, he can't — "

He sat in silence.

------------------------

(My commentary): In a Freudian transference of love for the father figure, now abandoned after a bout of violence and despair, the woman runs illicitly to her unmarried lover--soon to be married and thus commensurate with acceptable state of martial norms.

First she must, tho, kill the father figure in order to love another father/son/husband triangle figure. He sees her as his redemption, his magna mater, the nurturing life-giver who sustains his rejuvenation to his old, debauched soul and spirit. 

" And I have loved him, I have," she wept. '' I've loved him always, and he's always done this to me, he has — "

" It's been a love of opposition, then," he said. " Never mind — it will be all right. It's nothing desperate."

" Yes," she wept, " it is, it is."

"Why.?"

" I shall never see him again "

" Not immediately. Don't cry, you had to break with him, it had to be — don't cry."

He went over to her and kissed her fine, fragile hair, touching her wet cheeks gently.

*' Don't cry," he repeated, " don't cry any more."

He held her head close against him, very close and quiet.

At last she was still. Then she looked up, her eyes wide and frightened.

" Don't you want me ?" she asked.

"Want you?" His darkened, steady eyes puzzled her and did not give her play.

" Do you wish I hadn't come?" she asked, anxious now again for fear she might be out of place.

" No," he said. " I wish there hadn't been the violence — so much ugliness — but perhaps it was inevitable."

She watched him in silence. He seemed deadened.

" But where shall I stay?" she asked, feeling humiliated.

He thought for a moment.

" Here, with me," he said. " We're married as much to-day as we shall be to-morrow."

« But— "

" I'll tell Mrs Varley," he said. " Never mind now."

He sat looking at her. She could feel his darkened steady eyes looking at her all the time. It made her a little bit frightened. She pushed her hair off her forehead ner- vously.

" Do I look ugly ?" she said.

And she blew her nose again.

A small smile came round his eyes.

" No," he said, " fortunately."

And he went across to her, and gathered her like a be- longing in his arms. She was so tenderly beautiful, he could not bear to see her, he could only bear to hide her against himself. Now; washed all clean by her tears, she

was new and frail like a flower just unfolded, a flower so new, so tender, so made perfect by inner light, that he could not bear to look at her, he must hide her against himself, cover his eyes against her. She had the perfect candour of creation, something translucent and simple, like a radiant, shining flower that moment unfolded in primal blessedness. She was so new, so wonder-clear, so undimmed. And he was so old, so steeped in hea^'y memories. Her soul was new, undefined and glimmering with the unseen. And his soul was dark and gloomy, it had only one grain of living hope, like a grain of mustard seed. But this one living grain in him matched the perfect youth in her."

----------------

"But the passion of gratitude with which he received her into his soul, the extreme, unthinkable gladness of knowing himself living and fit to unite with her, he, who was so nearly dead, who was so near to being gone with the rest of his race down the slope of mechanical death, could never be understood by her. He worshipped her as age worships youth, he gloried in her, because, in his one grain of faith, he was young as she, he was her proper mate. This mar- riage with her was his resurrection and his life.

All this she could not know. She wanted to be made much of, to be adored. There were infinite distances of silence between them. How could he tell her of the imma- nence of her beauty, that was not form, or weight, or colour, but something like a strange, golden light ! How could he know himself what her beauty lay in, for him. He said " Your nose is beautiful, your chin is adorable." But it sounded like lies, and she was disappointed, hurt. Even when he said, whispering with truth, " I love you, I love you," it was not the real truth. It was something beyond love, such a gladness of having surpassed oneself, of having transcended the old existence. How could he say ' I ' when he was something new and unknown, not himself at all ? This I, this old formula of the age, was a dead letter.

In the new, superfine bliss, a peace superseding knowledge, there was no I and you, there was only the third, unrealised wonder, the wonder of existing not as oneself, but in a consummation of my being and of her being in a new one, a new, paradisal unit regained from the duality. Nor can I say *' I love you," when I have ceased to be, and you have ceased to be : we are both caught up and trans- cended into a new oneness where everything is silent, be- cause there is nothing to answer, all is perfect and at one. Speech travels between the separate parts. But in the per- fect One there is perfect silence of bliss.

They were married by law on the next day."

(my commentary):  The end of the book, full stop. The last mournful reminiscences of the man who is capable of love, but not fully to another woman, and the woman who loves him unconditionally but without awareness of options, or of possibilities or of ability to make other choices in a closed and cloistered environment, where women were kept for marriage and for spawning children and taking care of the cleaning and cooking and tending and nurturing and that includes for the male. The other dead man who loved unconditionally committed suicide when his cold wife, Gudren, who was capable of questioning, of not loving unconditionally and surrendering to the man who rules her--cast him aside in what she called a "hate triangle"..the eternal hate triangle of passionate death to love with a 3rd party interloper as a mere prop for the explosive cataclysm of the inevitable chasm between those who have no real bond but are put together, glued into a fashionable domestic arrangement.

The first woman, Ursula, gentle and naive, open like a multiple-petaled flower waiting for the first and final thrust of impregnation of commitment and solidarity to security, cannot begin to understand the yearnings for unfathomable thirsting for the forbidden love and the forbidden fruit that a male lusts for in other men but not as completely as in the love found in his "other" soul flame, the domesticated women. The modern term for this is "male bonding". The end is death, the beginning is an incomplete sense of longing that can never be satiated. The book was written by a male describing women who are in love partnerships but it's really about men who can't love other men in secret or in private or in public--in the rural sphere of normal existence in small town and middle city death trap life. Trying to escape, going to the Tyrol and finding only black rocks heaving up like daggers into the sky as the masterful controlling man kills himself in response to realizing that his attempt to love found himself in concert with a woman as equally incapable of love as himself.

" You can't have two kinds of love. Why should you ! " " It seems as if I can't," he said. " Yet I wanted it." *' You can't have it, because it's false, impossible," she said.

*' I don't believe that," he answered.

--------------------

(my commentary):

THE other pair that survived is left with a gaping hole betwixt them. The woman has been programmed to love a male forever and the male, in this case, has spent much of his time hanging out with aristocracy where male bonding is not forbidden and is held in higher esteem than in the milk cow mud fields of England. The story is called woman but it's about men and their control of women so that in the end, they can never receive nor give or offer another woman infinite unbounded love that they give and taste from other men in their bonding and respect for one another in this bond of control over women--who are in love but not really, are trained in a cloistered environment and are not able to spread their wings and fly to other realms of concept or identity. DH Lawrence wrote a quote about beating women if they respond with hostility towards a man, in the marriage. He doesn't mention what grounds a woman may have for such a reaction towards the man. That infinite desire to bond into a special unit of one solidarity remains an unfolded flower, a gem uncut and a promise eternally broken by a divinity that is as uncompromising in lackadaisical unconcern as the father in the book is towards his questioning and outspoken daughter--punishing for not doing what one is told, and beaten for questioning authority--and the men can only love one male god and truly love other men while women remain as Eve in the fallen garden, left out of the conversation, left ignorant and left without the information to make informed consent a possibility of kicking these men to the curb and finding independence from codified attachment and meaning in the mysterious concept of Love and of, in fact, the love that men hold for other men and their lessor love for women, unless they play the Madonna love nurturing mother figure to them until they are ready for the final diaper stage of old age. That, in essence, is my rendition of a commentary on DH Lawrences Women in Love and his resounding in-the-closet book on how badly he wants to break free of the bonding rituals and of society's thrust into his desires and foregoing his Hobbit Shires of the glorification of the mundane bourgeoise existence of conformity to the boundaries of acceptable love and it's practical and violent assumptions about women--who are trained to love abusers while men love abusers as well. In reality, when the situation is set out of the Shires of postcard bliss, the real love is reserved for the cold, dead hearts of those who cannot love but master the animals and tame the throbbing desires of other men until it's a cold, death-like experience of love restrained and women can't dare complain. Thus, in order to get away, they kill those they cannot love who cannot love them but cling to them for the sake of appearances and are unable to love those they control--other men with woman falling far down the food chain of desire, unity and unification of true love abandoned and lost.

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(my commentary--out of sync and order on my Facebook page but I will add it at the end, although the paragraph above was intended to be the last. If it turns out in this hacked and haphazard way, it's because I will take this as a form of synchronicity that the mention of God is contemplated and commented upon by the poetic lover who can really only love a cold, dead God and a colder dead would-be male lover, love unrequited and thus, to him, the infinite potentials of love are lost in his miserable state of regret and disappointment in his former bliss in the unification of the woman he has chosen to be his one and only --mommy remembrance of nurturing love unconditional and unspoiled by knowledge of the forbidden fruit of knowledge. Near the end of Women in Love...Birkin the living bemoans to himself the loss of his near Brokeback Mountain moment, eulogizing about the love's labor lost:

" "God can do without man. God could do without the ichthyosauri and the mastodon. These monsters failed creatively to develop, so God, the creative mystery, dis- pensed with them. In the same way the mystery could dis- pense with man, should he too fail creatively to change and develop. The eternal creative mystery could dispose of man, and replace him with a finer created being. Just as the horse has taken the place of the mastodon.

It was very consoling to Birkin, to think this. If humanity ran into a cul de sac, and expended itself, the timeless creative mystery would bring forth some other being, finer, more wonderful, some new, more lovely race, to carry on the embodiment of creation. The game was never up. The mystery of creation was fathomless, infallible, in- exhaustible, forever. Races came and went, species passed away, but ever new species arose, more lovely, or equally lovely, always surpassing wonder. The fountain-head was incorruptible and unsearchable. It had no limits. It could bring forth miracles, create utter new races and new species, in its own hour, new forms of consciousness, new forms of body, new units of being. To be man was as nothing compared to the possibilities of the creative mys- tery. To have one's pulse beating direct from the mystery, this was perfection, unutterable satisfaction. Human or inhuman mattered nothing. The perfect pulse throbbed with indescribable being, miraculous unborn species.

Birkin went home again to Gerald. He went into the room, and sat down on the bed. Dead, dead and cold !...Then suddenly he lifted his head, and looked straight at Ursula, with dark, almost vengeful eyes.

^* He should have loved me," he said. " I offered him."

She, afraid, white, with mute lips answered :

" What difference would it have made ! "

" It would !" he said. " It would."

He forgot her, and turned to look at Gerald. With head oddly lifted, like a man who draws his head back from an insult, half haughtily, he watched the cold, mute, material face. It had a bluish cast. It sent a shaft like ice through the heart of the living man. Cold, mute, material ! Birkin remembered how once Gerald had clutched his hand, with a warm, momentaneous grip of final love. For one second — then let go again, let go for ever. If he had kept true to that clasp, death would not have mattered. Those who die, and dying still can love, still believe, do not die. They live still in the beloved. Gerald might still have been living in the spirit with Birkin, even after death. He might have lived with his friend, a further life.

But now he was dead, like clay, like bluish, corruptible ice. Birkin looked at the pale fingers, the inert mass. He remembered a dead stallion he had seen : a dead mass of maleness, repugnant. He remembered also the beautiful face of one whom he had loved, and who had died still having the faith to yield to the mystery. That dead face was beautiful, no one could call it cold, mute, material. No one could remember it without gaining faith in the mystery, without the soul's warming with new, deep life- trust.

And Gerald ! The denier ! He left the heart cold, frozen, hardly able to beat. Gerald's father had looked wistful, to break the heart : but not this last terrible look of cold, mute Matter. Birkin watched and watched"

*my final commentary on this book about men in love (or not):

And that's the story of women in love and the men who love other men and their fathers who beat animals, women, wives, daughters and control and keep regurgitating more children in that old marriage system as the pondering philosophers stuck in the suburbs or yet worse the rural areas have to ponder alone the existence of God or whether God cares just like father doesn't care in the household to their womenfolk--(following the plot and the line of violence and activity in the book--not my personal commentary on existence, rural kinfolk and their disputes or on homosexuality in general).

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