Sunday, September 26, 2021

Musings on Love weaponized and war. Thoughts on love and consciousness. Thoughts on governmental missives directing war on Love. Leo Tolstoy who transformed from a good ole boy to a Lone Wolf leader through the power of grandiose universal love of his brothers to whom he was exalted as being the Keeper (except for that love of his wife). ""All the things that he preaches for the happiness of humanity only complicate life to the point where it becomes harder and harder for me to live," wrote Sofia – who transcribed all of Tolstoy's manuscripts, including War and Peace, in longhand – at the start of 1895. "His vegetarian diet means the complication of preparing two dinners, which means twice the expense and twice the work. His sermons on love and goodness have made him indifferent to his family, and mean the intrusion of all kinds of riff-raff into our family life. And his (purely verbal) renunciation of worldly goods has made him endlessly critical and disapproving of others."---Sophia Tolstoy (Leo's wife and historically misaligned partner).

 "War and Peace (1/9) Movie CLIP - The Greatest Pleasures (1956) HD". Movieclips. May 18, 2012.




“Never, never marry, my friend. Here’s my advice to you: don’t marry until you can tell yourself that you’ve done all you could, and until you’ve stopped loving the woman you’ve chosen, until you see her clearly, otherwise you’ll be cruelly and irremediably mistaken. Marry when you’re old and good for nothing…Otherwise all that’s good and lofty in you will be lost.”--Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace.

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"The chief cause of unhappiness in married life is that people think that marriage is sex attraction, which takes the form of promises and hopes and happiness - a view supported by public opinion and by literature. But marriage cannot cause happiness. Instead, it is always torture, which man has to pay for satisfying his sex urge."--Leo Tolstoy (not a quote from War and Peace).

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"It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness."--Leo Tolstoy.

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"Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal."--Leo Tolstoy.

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"In all history there is no war which was not hatched by the governments, the governments alone, independent of the interests of the people, to whom war is always pernicious even when successful."==Leo Tolstoy

*what do we learn from Tolstoy? (weaponized love versus peaceful love, as hatched by governments which program the militarized masses to perform the deeds of unconscious manipulation).
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"Tolstoy the Spiritual Anarchist: On 'A Confession'".  Paul Griffin. December 7, 2013. 





After contemplating suicide and renunciation of his former life, Tolstoy. Tolstoy was addicted to sex and could barely control his adverse sexual urges (believed in sleeping downward into the peasant class, even making poorer women pregnant and then discarded as demanded by his "superior" class). This aspect of his life has rarely if ever or never been delineated in mainstream (undoubtedly in obscure feminist papers which I have never read but am aware of such types of writings).

This highly Communistic approach to critical analysis is like the usual male-dominated fixation on male philosophical life ponderings. Mention of domestic violence or abuse or cruelty towards his wife or other women is not mentioned. All the themes that Tolstoy so beautifully elaborated upon except for his dark sexual urges towards women (and with men never mentioned) are left out of the poetic critiques offered by men (I would suggest of the same patter, ilk or whatever you want to call their male bonding affinity towards completely ignoring all issues of abuse towards women by such "lofty" male writings--as Tolstoy had come out of the aristocrat class and as a man of privilege and social status his demeanor towards women remains as a privileged silenced omission in all the accolades for the otherwise "spiritual" and socio-political meanderings through what could not be called "liberal" or progressive ideologies.

In my opinion, the subconscious HATE for women as expressed by exploitation of lower class peasant females, and then his adultery when it came to his wife whom he kept pregnant for something like 15 years on-end--to his denouncement of sexuality towards her, his dark secrets bound up in his controversial novel The Kreutzer Sonatas, and then his death which was spurred by leaving his distraught wife whom he wanted to abandon in his 80th-something year of life. The suicide urge he had, which I suspect stems from his utter disconnection from sexuality and love for women (suppressed homosexuality perhaps?) and his sexual debauchery of women (and probably men, never mentioned in the historical record). This utter disconnect in terms of sexuality and the death urge with his compounded lofty "spiritual" photo-opportunity prose and celebrity fame and then his subsequent lack of appetite for life--the urge towards suicide.

But hear and list to an appraisal based on absolute glowing reviews of the spiritual heights that this reviewer ascribes to Tolstoy. I am not criticizing Tolstoy's complexities or the author himself as much as the lack of balance in the reportage concerning women, sexuality and this confounded death and sex combination, tied to a grasping perhaps in vain at spiritual enlightenment and socio-political challenge to authority but the personal life remained a cold, landscape of the cranking out of endless children and a kind of static sexual lovelessness.
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One entire hour of fighting to click on one single item and fearing I would lose the information I kept fighting until the page froze, entirely. Turning the laptop off restarting--I just did 2 resets yesterday=4 hours, then 1 recovery, spent another hour fighting to toggle off any conceivable port of entry for hackers--using everything I am able to afford, which is nothing any longer---and then MONTHS OF this disgusting English rapist yelling screaming punching me in the face raping me so violently my body convulsed an embedded object in the multiple layers of hard poison that his partners, who he loves and calls more beautiful his great friends, but sticking to me non-stop as they laugh while he punches me in the face-then asking me for ideas, constantly then yelling at me to shut up--anything I think that is elaborate or intellectual he begins violently yelling at me to shut up, his partners the wealthy English who sit silently as well as the american "I'm part English" who have been showered with applause oscars awards for stealing my ideas and then covering up the theft with destroying all evidence of what I have written, leaving me for hours per day fighting JUST TO TURN THE WIFI ON is almost like a miracle if I can use it without it being blocked, attacked or turned off--and when I am fighting to get ANY SINGLE THING DONE in any capacity as a survivable entity on this planet, the every single thing I do is blocked, hacked, rewritten and all that I try to accomplish is blocked, destroyed and anything I think is used to attack me and is stolen if the hateful rapist abuser endless parasites need more ideas. This is something like 4 months of the next abuser violent life-threatening rapist literally turning my hair grey after his violent yelling abuse and rape, after the german parasite came punching raping abusing my face my body endless death threats--and senators are rushing yelling screaming threatening to kill me, and I am just one person defending myself and am surrounded by hate endlessly and always. The one and only thing I have left on this planet my cat they stole years ago whenI fought to get the next murdering rapist (depp and heard) off me from pounding more poison as deeply into my body as possible--and so they tortured my cat most beloved wonderful and beautiful animal and showed a photo of her fighting not to drown they threw her in the swimming pool and took photos of her fighting for her life not to drown--before sending her to baryshnikov who has teams of dogs chasing her, as she screams in terror and they fractured her rib cage for me calling the rapists who were murdering me, poisoning me laughing about how "fat" I had become as they had hardening murder poisons laced with horrific drugs poured into my food as they pounded the poison into my body every day laughing as I fought to stop it--then the 24/7 torture began and has not stopped for the past 16 years YEARS non-stop daily torture and abuse. Teams of actors and politicians have rushed to join in, raping abusing and calling me names endlessly abusing me and instantly being interviewed on major news networks on the same day or the next--featured in documentaries and etc on and on, and this english abuser rapist is being championed, is probably undoubtedly being handed as well as his cohorts out of London and england (germans russians etc all backing him, teams of euros are behind him, he is the english-speaking terror chaos agent sent to "break and crush" me for just fighting back--just defending myself and having ideas that they can sell off as their own--giving me nothing but taking all they can away from me. As with all the others, the beautiful flowering plants are half dead withered and black, after I throw plants away and buy more, this english hateful leech on me has them slowly killed--and he's there literally almost 24 hours a day abusing me. I can give one example of how blank and hateful he and his fellow english bigos truly are: one of the actors began violently raping and threatening me for writing a comment that slightly disagreed with what the american blonde woman had said about a shakespeare play--he rushed raped abused threatened my life yelled for hours as I fought the next hater and fought to get him off--for just demonstrating my own mind and thoughts on shakespeare which was not a light subject--I always received A's in college for my writing on shakespeare by the way, just saying. but the threat to them that I should have ideas and not just say nothing and not demonstrate my own talent or mind, as their take-over of the united states, in combination with the push for white fascist nazi supremacy is fully ongoing, and this is one of the facets not only to cut out education but to silence people like me so only their ordained critics and bigots have the only "say" or word possible, even for my own private thoughts. This next english rapist who so violently abused and raped me that part of the embedded filth that the aamerican nazi fascist mafia teams had poured pumped and injected into my body having one euro-rapist abuser after the next pound the poison into my body; thusly instructing this next one so blank and conformist all I see is blank hate and power machinations coming from him, not a second of any intelligent or interesting thing he has to say to me as with all. I was listening to wnyu archives and one show called passport, from around 2011 had a show with some electronic experimental music; one musician out of germany was playing a skewed version of a very classical-sounding piece. I listened and recognized the song and piece, but was a bit unsure (I had heard it in 2010, so a long time ago and it was in a collection from the artist). the endless leeching of my life every moment that this man who has made my hair turn solid white in front of my forehead from his violent rape death threats and 16 hoursa per day of abuse, yelling at anything I do that is above basic half-brain dead mediocrity, the only level they want me at, but they are still torturing me to obtain ideas through trauma rape and torture drugging and abuse. To continue: I was listening, the DJ said that this was a German artist who transposed a piece from Vivaldi and I thought to myself, in conversation with this hateful bigot I want no conversation with, but he is literally "in my head" for about 1/2 of every single day, literally from the moment i wake up to at bed, in my sleep, its' more than 12 hours per day, of death threats of smashing my head in of pornographic sexual abuse comments of asking me for ideas perpetually because I actually try to learn something every day, I have always tried to have a stellar career this group has poisoned me to the point of my body being paralyzed in internal equivalent of cement while they torture me endlessly untilI scream out ideas or "converse" with them because they are literally leeching off my thoughts my energy and life every moment to get this disgusting contract this insidious insult to humanity this lowering of all standards which thousands flock to---and I thought to myself, almost conversing with the leech energy drainign grey-hair making violent pornographic hate rapist out of england and his "aristocrat" "High class" supposed "superior" haters that it actually was a piece by Bach--what else would a German play they are all always referring to Bac-

for the 6th time the hackers blocked the typing of this page by actually making the cursor jump to another part of the page while I was writ...