Sunday, March 20, 2022

There's one of the celebrities who I occasionally do a search engine thang for just becuz it's a bit fun (is it healthy?). I use this as a thermometer of sorts for my situation. But my brain, being under such ominously distorted states due to external forces, picked up this memory out of my brain-memory bank and it just came to me--a song out of the 70's I would hear from WLS out of Chicago when I lived in Champaign (got reception all those miles away on my little radio in my bedroom). I had given up at that point on classical violin and wanted to be part of the "fun" music that "everyone" was getting hip to. I now recall a movie and book (I read the book, didn't get through the movie) called Looking for Mr. Goodbar.

 "Helen Reddy--Delta Dawn Music Video". YazerPro. February 12, 2009.




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But DELTA DAWN (now realizing this title also has significant symbolism but won't go into that detail right now): the song that just popped into my brain and memory is not linked to my opinion of the male actor, the association came with all the videos on YouTube that are crazy fan stuff---obsessive/compulsive drooling for a celebrity, for example--and other ideas I won't write about in the personal domain.

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...and my 2nd association from floating but associated ties to the fan-base idolatry of celebrity brings to mind the great character of Miss Havisham from Charles Dickens' Great Expectations--again, the book brings more detail but the film versions bring the character a bit to light. Ah, what a fantastic beast Miss Havisham has created in the general but perhaps forgotten literary and film landscape. This also has personal associations with the ideas floating through my mind of this weird situation foisted upon me with being teleported to "them"--as I watch the fan stuff on YouTube, the gossip and the posturing charitable photo-op stuff of the celebrities who couldn't give a damn about the issues unless it involves some kind of profit or fame for them and their most cherished careers. But Miss Havisham and Delta Dawn are both adoring the YouTube videos (featuring every day with a fan base of millions this most famous male/one who women kneel in devotion to, some women I mean. Also men, of course).


"Great Expectations 'Miss Havisham' Mertida Hunt, 1946". Cool Guy. May 28, 2017.



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...and this song comes to mind---not because of the NAME in the title but because of the song--(I had forgotten the title of the song and the name of the woman for whom Ms. Reddy is singing) but the weird crescent moon hanging over a dying swamp is the term I might use for the technologically obsessed---I heard this song out of Chicago, over 200 miles south in Champaign and I tried to understand it with a 12-year old mind but could not grasp the sordid waste of life that Ms. Reddy was singing about---the video, though, is quite the subliminal because in the first scene of a city scene is a most clear and defined phallic symbol building--almost clearly obscene--I think media is more adept at hiding such clues at this point. But it wasn't really meant or intended to be so hidden anyway---it has a direct bearing on this theme and of the not so veiled obsession with "big city" pipe dreams and men and love and media addiction devoid of reality---(or is addiction the ultimate reality?)


"Helen Reddy--Angie Baby Cartoon". LukeDuke908. February 19, 2012.



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But as a little aside: here's to Ms. Helen Reddy and her contribution to the real feminist marches, meetings and fights that women have had to undergo all these years of protest--I AM WOMAN

hear me roar, baby! Maybe? A lady? Shady? 

"I Am Woman--Helen Reddy". Sophie Othilla Ngo. January 18, 2013.


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"Looking for Mr. Goodbar (1977) clip". Films 411. September 20, 2016.






This brings back a very different memory of me and my grandmother marching in a protest to keep abortion legal. This march was in the streets of Phoenix, Arizona around the mid-late 80's. My grandmother and I had our arms around one another while marching amongst the protesters in the middle of a long train of women marching for abortion rights to continue. Strangely this was one of the few circumstances where me and my g-ma actually embraced for more than a few seconds (she was a bit distant and very controlling--maybe a bit like a Miss Havisham but in connubial bliss with my endearing grandfather who devoted his life and everything to her, and it was mutual but I know she cheated on him and he still loved her for it. They loved one another for more than 50 years like the best of friends and devoted to their deaths). She was loving but not a doting type (my mother called her a kind of "super bitch" personality). She kind of taught me the "hard way" not to get involved with the creeple that the Nazi organization flew into my path with my brain inundated with "gravy" mind control ooze mostly all my life. She kept admonishing me to pick better men but in a whiney way which kept me on my toes--endlessly looking for Mr. Goodbar and now I've given up on looking for the elusive ultimate deadly abuser fantasy (must see but mostly must read the book Looking for Mr. Goodbar to understand my drift, can you DIG IT?).

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"5 Easy Pieces--Stand By Your Man--Tammy Wynette". HD Film Tributes. June 22, 2021.




This song, and this movie 5 Easy Pieces come to mind in this miasma of memories associated with looking up celebrity fascination on the tube circuit pumped directly into your brain and heart---themes of feminism. Oddly, the woman who played the "feminist/independent" character who Mr. Nicholson lent one of his homes to, promising her that he would never kick her out, once she reached that untenable age he did, indeed kick her out. I don't know what happened to her since I assume she got over very well--maybe I'll look it up.... But the film 5 Easy Pieces is, in part, a depiction of the fantasy good girl wifey woman who dotes on her husband and every tear waiting to drop at the slightest hat falling the cliche perfect woman-as opposed to the 70's version of the New Independent Woman who could stand on her own (maybe to buy and purchase her own house? However now that I understand the good ole Mr. Goodbar Network I know that women being blocked from obtaining financial freedom is a thing and for real, dude. At least for me becuz I'm supposedly "dangerous" and very bad and the list of hate terms for me is endless according to the people using subliminals to drain my brain of all positive reinforcement about who an what I am--thus carried-on by the teleporting terrorist mind screw operators out of H-wood, the celebrities who seem to gain money from their exploits playing the freedom loving women but support male domination oppression to an extreme degree of violence when it comes to me, as they also participate in the violence, ostensibly to prove to the male-dominated media industry controlled, I assume, by men largely and the women who support misogynist woman-hating culture.

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"Tammy Wynette--Divorce (lyrics)".  Lee Westwick. September 6, 2012.





At least d-i-v-o-r-c-e is still legal....women who want independence still have a chance to not be as enslaved but mentally they remain cloistered and supporting cheerleaders for male abusive relationships---





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After my internet worked perfectly, my computer operated as it should have been doing all these decades, for one single day they took more of my money in the never-ending fight for my life to not be "enslaved" with torture, rape, block of all finances abuse hate people surrounding me night and day with hate and abuse---I wrote about 6 days of spending 6 then 8 then 12 then 24 hours doing resets and recovery functions, deleting all files doing all I could to get connection for the 10 minutes necessary to make one phone call to a business in a far different time zone--critical for me, and they never answered my emails requesting information. The internet and computer worked perfectly yesterday for the few hours I was forced to spend money I need for survival to try to get out of a treacherous situation of mail being literally blocked--as has happened with all mail services literally I have used for decades, every singe one has openly discriminated, lied about mail, not reported mail, I have lost money and now my income due to it, they go off laughing being congratulated. Trying yet again, and the internet and computer worked perfectly yesterday. This morning turning the router off, clearing the 700 files hacked into my system, restarting 8 times in 90 minutes, turning the computer and router on and off waiting for the spinning to stop clearing the cache--took over 20 minutes to just clear the files in c-drive. The signal came on for 30 seconds then more turning the computer on and off. I have ONE MORE phone call to make next week, after 10 days of being told I had a deadline for my money situation in which I have spent sub-sub-poverty income savings from years of putting money away--literally years and years of doing this to try to avert what is happening now. The situations I dealt with yesterday in trying to obtain another secure mail system was met with literal lying by the AI chat bot---the people who responded from the company took my money and were unhelpful with information which I requested, leaving me vulnerable to their attacks once more to cut my income off. I phoned social security I was hung up on and then the next person who answered was gruff, nasty was coughing into the phone---the ubiquitous signal of the terror regime global operation, a triggering signal as well. I was about to hang up to try again and he already knew what I was going to do with the voice-to-skull thought-reading technology so he answered that he would perform the one task after rude, nasty abusive interrogation which I responded to with polite pleasantry, met with a sighing "ok" and he had brought up my money having been cut off (the operation conducted upon me 6 months before the Doge committee began openly to "purge" society of those they want to cull--beginning with me, perhaps the very first victim of doge before they were institutionalized as an entity. I was then rudely treated but finalized what I need to do, with this man almost yelling at me that I had to pay all I had in my bank account or they would never reinstitue my money. they had sent me a letter in April stating that my money had been reinstated. They sent me an email in my social security account last week telling me to pay up before a certain date next week or the final deadline would ensue in...they would not say, but giving me 10 days to fight to obtain information. My mail service lied and told me many things and I asked them if mail had arrived in the months of me writing every week if mail had arrived, being told nothing had happened and for years they refused to even respond to my many emails requesting information. Phoning them was met by racist slurs on my last name in dumbing down pretense of stupidity---unable to speak or write English (in Miami) writing "Knew Mail" etc in the subject line of emails for letters threatening (my income my life) by those agencies under command of their central committee "in the cloud" I guess is where it exists.// I still have to pay and pay for the money my family sent me under absolutely terrorist conditions of sending emails from lawyers brimming with obvious malware the instant I opened their group email (all family members now have my email address they have been hacking in non-stop for years) and sending wrong files and all the problems they cause--the family members who greedily had grasped for more and more from my mother's mommy christmas money font as she was paying them to be seen with blonde people on vacations--endless money poured into the children of my siblings who married into firmly entrenched 4th reich, mostly not "Jewish" people who are openly racist every chance they get (to get more free deals, my family has been a magnet for these types and the mutual partnership is my family being allowed to live in mansions on a hill--the most violent of my brothers in California, his children rushing to abuse and exploit me first, the blondes sent me messages stating after mommy christman (grandma christmas) died, they no longer had her as the portal to leech off for endless free gifts, global vacations, etc I was left to rot and die fighting for my life to have poisoning stopped while my family screamed that I was lying I had no physical problems I was mentally ill, etc making it up. I told them that social security does not make up handing people total chronic disability categorization as I have been, after waiting for over a year to obtain this "bounteous" endowment of sub-sub-poverty income, unsustainable. I was kept alive being slowly poisoned and abused to death but they need me alive to do exactly what they are doing now, attacking me with vicious murderous hate and abuse and lovingly looking at the nazi abuser murderous genocidal haters they have always handed me over to; they get promotions beyond belief. The H-wood 4th reich Nazi cartel is like a bonanza gold mine find for them, through years of me being tortured for information and idea extraction all internet blocked all hacked all ideas stolen as they have me raped and poisoned and mutilated and tortured into old age--fighting and fighting, writing what would happen if Americans continued to allow them to go on and on, and it has come to pass, has transpired now in full glorified hate attacks the audiences are cheering their heroes for building American concentration camps which will be used for further culling of the population in the future not just "immigrants"//but alas, no one cares as I have been told and have seen, not many at all, that is for sure. The rhetoric being used to sway and brainwash the public is so convincing.

  They want me now to pay all the money my family begrudgingly sent me as lure to get the blonde children of my sister into more free deals ...