Sunday, March 20, 2022

There's one of the celebrities who I occasionally do a search engine thang for just becuz it's a bit fun (is it healthy?). I use this as a thermometer of sorts for my situation. But my brain, being under such ominously distorted states due to external forces, picked up this memory out of my brain-memory bank and it just came to me--a song out of the 70's I would hear from WLS out of Chicago when I lived in Champaign (got reception all those miles away on my little radio in my bedroom). I had given up at that point on classical violin and wanted to be part of the "fun" music that "everyone" was getting hip to. I now recall a movie and book (I read the book, didn't get through the movie) called Looking for Mr. Goodbar.

 "Helen Reddy--Delta Dawn Music Video". YazerPro. February 12, 2009.




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But DELTA DAWN (now realizing this title also has significant symbolism but won't go into that detail right now): the song that just popped into my brain and memory is not linked to my opinion of the male actor, the association came with all the videos on YouTube that are crazy fan stuff---obsessive/compulsive drooling for a celebrity, for example--and other ideas I won't write about in the personal domain.

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...and my 2nd association from floating but associated ties to the fan-base idolatry of celebrity brings to mind the great character of Miss Havisham from Charles Dickens' Great Expectations--again, the book brings more detail but the film versions bring the character a bit to light. Ah, what a fantastic beast Miss Havisham has created in the general but perhaps forgotten literary and film landscape. This also has personal associations with the ideas floating through my mind of this weird situation foisted upon me with being teleported to "them"--as I watch the fan stuff on YouTube, the gossip and the posturing charitable photo-op stuff of the celebrities who couldn't give a damn about the issues unless it involves some kind of profit or fame for them and their most cherished careers. But Miss Havisham and Delta Dawn are both adoring the YouTube videos (featuring every day with a fan base of millions this most famous male/one who women kneel in devotion to, some women I mean. Also men, of course).


"Great Expectations 'Miss Havisham' Mertida Hunt, 1946". Cool Guy. May 28, 2017.



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...and this song comes to mind---not because of the NAME in the title but because of the song--(I had forgotten the title of the song and the name of the woman for whom Ms. Reddy is singing) but the weird crescent moon hanging over a dying swamp is the term I might use for the technologically obsessed---I heard this song out of Chicago, over 200 miles south in Champaign and I tried to understand it with a 12-year old mind but could not grasp the sordid waste of life that Ms. Reddy was singing about---the video, though, is quite the subliminal because in the first scene of a city scene is a most clear and defined phallic symbol building--almost clearly obscene--I think media is more adept at hiding such clues at this point. But it wasn't really meant or intended to be so hidden anyway---it has a direct bearing on this theme and of the not so veiled obsession with "big city" pipe dreams and men and love and media addiction devoid of reality---(or is addiction the ultimate reality?)


"Helen Reddy--Angie Baby Cartoon". LukeDuke908. February 19, 2012.



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But as a little aside: here's to Ms. Helen Reddy and her contribution to the real feminist marches, meetings and fights that women have had to undergo all these years of protest--I AM WOMAN

hear me roar, baby! Maybe? A lady? Shady? 

"I Am Woman--Helen Reddy". Sophie Othilla Ngo. January 18, 2013.


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"Looking for Mr. Goodbar (1977) clip". Films 411. September 20, 2016.






This brings back a very different memory of me and my grandmother marching in a protest to keep abortion legal. This march was in the streets of Phoenix, Arizona around the mid-late 80's. My grandmother and I had our arms around one another while marching amongst the protesters in the middle of a long train of women marching for abortion rights to continue. Strangely this was one of the few circumstances where me and my g-ma actually embraced for more than a few seconds (she was a bit distant and very controlling--maybe a bit like a Miss Havisham but in connubial bliss with my endearing grandfather who devoted his life and everything to her, and it was mutual but I know she cheated on him and he still loved her for it. They loved one another for more than 50 years like the best of friends and devoted to their deaths). She was loving but not a doting type (my mother called her a kind of "super bitch" personality). She kind of taught me the "hard way" not to get involved with the creeple that the Nazi organization flew into my path with my brain inundated with "gravy" mind control ooze mostly all my life. She kept admonishing me to pick better men but in a whiney way which kept me on my toes--endlessly looking for Mr. Goodbar and now I've given up on looking for the elusive ultimate deadly abuser fantasy (must see but mostly must read the book Looking for Mr. Goodbar to understand my drift, can you DIG IT?).

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"5 Easy Pieces--Stand By Your Man--Tammy Wynette". HD Film Tributes. June 22, 2021.




This song, and this movie 5 Easy Pieces come to mind in this miasma of memories associated with looking up celebrity fascination on the tube circuit pumped directly into your brain and heart---themes of feminism. Oddly, the woman who played the "feminist/independent" character who Mr. Nicholson lent one of his homes to, promising her that he would never kick her out, once she reached that untenable age he did, indeed kick her out. I don't know what happened to her since I assume she got over very well--maybe I'll look it up.... But the film 5 Easy Pieces is, in part, a depiction of the fantasy good girl wifey woman who dotes on her husband and every tear waiting to drop at the slightest hat falling the cliche perfect woman-as opposed to the 70's version of the New Independent Woman who could stand on her own (maybe to buy and purchase her own house? However now that I understand the good ole Mr. Goodbar Network I know that women being blocked from obtaining financial freedom is a thing and for real, dude. At least for me becuz I'm supposedly "dangerous" and very bad and the list of hate terms for me is endless according to the people using subliminals to drain my brain of all positive reinforcement about who an what I am--thus carried-on by the teleporting terrorist mind screw operators out of H-wood, the celebrities who seem to gain money from their exploits playing the freedom loving women but support male domination oppression to an extreme degree of violence when it comes to me, as they also participate in the violence, ostensibly to prove to the male-dominated media industry controlled, I assume, by men largely and the women who support misogynist woman-hating culture.

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"Tammy Wynette--Divorce (lyrics)".  Lee Westwick. September 6, 2012.





At least d-i-v-o-r-c-e is still legal....women who want independence still have a chance to not be as enslaved but mentally they remain cloistered and supporting cheerleaders for male abusive relationships---





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The real, stinking vermin poisoning the blood of America, and you can take that to the bank as they are creating devastation and homelessness, violence and rape and murder. Advertising wealth haute acquisition and non-caring nazi hate and mafia death and blonde nazi glorification with every movie: the unending ugly sleaze filth and stench of murder rape and sleaze parasite arnold shittrashni88er ugly stink filth you all worship and allow every dirty politician and all the aspiring upcoming politicians and the rancid one-frozen facial expression dirty actors to revolve around that meaningless, stupid ugly ignorant ape scum to torture me so they can all resume the endless destruction of the United States so they can move out of the country to nazi europigapeland with a-hole-nold issuing orders. that ugly stink filth orders all "sides" of the political spectrum to play every "role" of fake opposition. All information is provided to that ignorant and stupid, sick sleazy filthy meaningless dirty ape rat cockroach by his nazi and Communist/Stasi teams out of Europigapeland. they don't have to leave the Nazi enclaves of Bavaria to instruct that ugly sick rotten ape with Nazi ideology tinged with Communist, central party planning death squad liquification of America like gulags and concentration camps--the russian model of gulags under stalin and the "Jewish" nazi Lenin were the training grounds for the much less murderous Hitler regime (hundreds of millions versus 6-10 million the Germans inflicted concentration camp murders upon the Russians have vast, unfiltered countryside in that huge continent in which ti hide the jews, blacks and other "unwanted" they got to firstly commit the genocidal massacre of the "revolution" and then put the most "radical" in the death camps. They will do the same in the United STates. They call me a "woke radical and to kill me" (that was rancid "christian mitch mcconnel with greasy rancid lindsey graham, and they are the older generation of nazi adepts the younger are less versed in democratic lecturing posturing bullshit they only spout tired cliches but americans are too dumbed down to tell the difference, brainwashed by the nazi whorewood movie industry which leads them to believe every lying scum running for office who merge with h-wood scriptwriters and acting coaches in order to sound like a synthesized mass of repetitious bots spewing out Democracy and The American Dream and Fight Trump while endlessly rushing and gushing to nazi a-hole -nold shitstink nigger filth to be instructed in how to threaten to kill me for not providing him ewith ideas derived out of torture so that ugly stupid filth fuck scum can appear like he's talented, concerned and intellectual a dumb ugly rotten nazi bigot with blank mediocrity and narrow-minded selfinterest. Told that he is good-looking and powerful this ugly grasping leech has been handed every power apparatus in Amerioca by the stink of crap like warren buffet another dirty scum working for this group who has obtained billions of dollars if not more for presenting his hokey redneck cliche redneck old american style but having obtained his endless insider trading information by the nazi party he and his rotten children and group are absolute fans of the endless money poured into their presentations of humble american pie but it's just bullshit let them eat cake shit instead. //Ugly stink arnold a-hole ugly trash stink ni88er has his teams conducting non-stop surveillance of me so even though I am literally too ill to move and am fighting for my lfie, that ugly filth crap while I am absolutely deadly ill, bedridden from poison that u gly stink filth ordered be put in my body to kill me, with baryishnikov the kgb agent infiltrator coming to organize mass group rape by europigape nazi shit and by terminigger arnold,; baryshnikov is always there representing the communist nazi stranglehold "we will crush you from within" promise the Russians made in the 50's and 60's now coming to fruition by the East German scum rat of shitniggger playing nazi body builder filth rapist scum nazi bigot glorified endlessly but the black stupid leagues of farrakhan adherents are the most violent protectors of white nazi plantation structure because they get "out" of the target zone--just like my rotten "family" which is only an entity in name I left them in 1978 and am still trying to get that group of shit scum off me. They bring them into teleportation to smirk and gloat as they grab onto me with sneering delight they get mansions and marry blonde nazis and live in nazi california with the blessing of ugly stink nigger trash arnold and his teams of gavin white trash scum endlessly social engineering white nazi overtake and the utter downfall of america, as long as they get to move to italy working with nancy pig-lousy to obtain hundreds of millions from their congresisonal posts of graft and destroying america "from within" but the real vermin is not the brown cleaning ladies that dirty ugly shitnigger arnold rapes on a regular basis but calls it just "fun" and there are no police calls--he raped me saying it was "time" for me to be rapeda s that ugly scum rat then brough tin shitaline the stink prostituted skank dumb scum who like dirty ugly arnold shit is too stupid and ugly to think of any beautiful concepts regarding human dignity only glorification of their posturing physical adherence to nazi posturing,m and like everything else they do--they borrow the concept nothing is original they glam onto arnold because he is providing stupid shit like warren buffet, absolutely talented in spewing out verbal advice and knowledge about remaining calm and retaining vulture sucking out propensities when the market fails to swoop in and gobble up the losses they invoke by their policies leading to such financial downfalls which they capitalize on. Otherwise, dirty ugly arnold the nazi has his filthy stink minions putting food in my kitchen sink at night and then they dump cockroaches into my room. I bring out the roach baits and in the middle of the night, after having fallen asleep in life-threatening illness which this ape is continuously killing me slowly with abuse while I am shitting out murderous toxins which that ape had put in my body to murder me while they extract ideas--to prove that onlky they are original and I am "nothing" as they destroy break rape torture mutiklate and block all opportunities then scream Loser and bitch at me and "stupid" after they torture ideas out of me because they literally have nothing but hate, exploitation and cliched stereotypes upon which they rely to fuck people over to steal all they have worked for calling themselves "superior" but the ways in which they obtain their money is always from a propped-up system of rigged everything, literally every single thing they obtain is nepo-induced and handed to them using this technology and the systematic stalking organizsation of social engineering.//impossible to t ype well hackers are blocking literally every moment every key I pound down on.//while I am putting roach bait out because I fasatidiously clean my sink drain every day, at least 5 times per day to stop the cockroaches they use mechanical arms to literally dump food bits into the drain at night and spray, every day, multiple times pe day, stinking grease on my kitchen counters so they are always greasy and cockroaches rush to eat what they are spraying at night. I wipe and clean, spray bleach water obn the counter caerfully observe the sink adn spray bleach into the drain--I wake up after I have fallen into life-saving sleep from abuse and torture from this ugly shit pig--while sleeping they got this ugly square blank rotten "actor" to throw baseballs murderously violently at me and rush at me with a pen to stab my face with it--I had done this with him after his threats and acions of violence after more than a decade of this ape having me tortured for his rancid failing career to be revived. Now that nazi nolen has put him in the lead of his next boring "win" he's there every moment playing "good cop" but of course, when the reality hits he is most dumb and murderous to get his oscar which is almost promised by ugly arnold the filth stench. That was in the afternoon after collapsing on my bed from dying from abuse while shitting out murderous poisons for the last week and months as u gly shithold termnigger the real leech vermin poisoning the blood of america is continuously getting alll the black "fighting racist" stupid stupid stupid fuck scum to abuse me on behalf of the farrakhan con bullshit team of getting rich off of the civil rights movement w3hile having malcolm x eliminated and in putting every false fraud into power while absolutely being told that nazi antisemitism will be their ticket to ride in the oscars parade and get more money (for farrakhan and his team).//the ugly nazi filth vermin who is creating the cockroach problem because he is an entity from hell, an ugly black hole sleazy filth machine of promise of getting rich to stupid stupid stupid white americans who are just so incensed that blacks can have a chance to compete but oh, jews more intellectual and to be beautiful which goes against centuries of deforming jews making them frumpy forcing them into lower status and the jews have completely complied they are supposed to be weak, ugly and only intellectual supporting every uprising of communist nature to provide nazis with impetus to first u se blacks and jews to do the fighting for them then killing them off and stealing their money and property once the genocide reaaches mass murder pitch. Ugly vermin shitnigger is producing this effect the german rat scum who he brings in instruct the stupid dirty shit on all sides to perform without question all they dictate with smiling money-grubbing dirty pig paws handing out every lead role and political position via whorewood because they use media as the advertising the speech coaching and scriptwriters come from whorewood all the one and same for both politicians and actors.

  and so ugly, stupid stench sick arnold the filth and his rancid children his filthy partners out of bavaria the real nazi party which can ...