Sunday, March 20, 2022

There's one of the celebrities who I occasionally do a search engine thang for just becuz it's a bit fun (is it healthy?). I use this as a thermometer of sorts for my situation. But my brain, being under such ominously distorted states due to external forces, picked up this memory out of my brain-memory bank and it just came to me--a song out of the 70's I would hear from WLS out of Chicago when I lived in Champaign (got reception all those miles away on my little radio in my bedroom). I had given up at that point on classical violin and wanted to be part of the "fun" music that "everyone" was getting hip to. I now recall a movie and book (I read the book, didn't get through the movie) called Looking for Mr. Goodbar.

 "Helen Reddy--Delta Dawn Music Video". YazerPro. February 12, 2009.




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But DELTA DAWN (now realizing this title also has significant symbolism but won't go into that detail right now): the song that just popped into my brain and memory is not linked to my opinion of the male actor, the association came with all the videos on YouTube that are crazy fan stuff---obsessive/compulsive drooling for a celebrity, for example--and other ideas I won't write about in the personal domain.

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...and my 2nd association from floating but associated ties to the fan-base idolatry of celebrity brings to mind the great character of Miss Havisham from Charles Dickens' Great Expectations--again, the book brings more detail but the film versions bring the character a bit to light. Ah, what a fantastic beast Miss Havisham has created in the general but perhaps forgotten literary and film landscape. This also has personal associations with the ideas floating through my mind of this weird situation foisted upon me with being teleported to "them"--as I watch the fan stuff on YouTube, the gossip and the posturing charitable photo-op stuff of the celebrities who couldn't give a damn about the issues unless it involves some kind of profit or fame for them and their most cherished careers. But Miss Havisham and Delta Dawn are both adoring the YouTube videos (featuring every day with a fan base of millions this most famous male/one who women kneel in devotion to, some women I mean. Also men, of course).


"Great Expectations 'Miss Havisham' Mertida Hunt, 1946". Cool Guy. May 28, 2017.



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...and this song comes to mind---not because of the NAME in the title but because of the song--(I had forgotten the title of the song and the name of the woman for whom Ms. Reddy is singing) but the weird crescent moon hanging over a dying swamp is the term I might use for the technologically obsessed---I heard this song out of Chicago, over 200 miles south in Champaign and I tried to understand it with a 12-year old mind but could not grasp the sordid waste of life that Ms. Reddy was singing about---the video, though, is quite the subliminal because in the first scene of a city scene is a most clear and defined phallic symbol building--almost clearly obscene--I think media is more adept at hiding such clues at this point. But it wasn't really meant or intended to be so hidden anyway---it has a direct bearing on this theme and of the not so veiled obsession with "big city" pipe dreams and men and love and media addiction devoid of reality---(or is addiction the ultimate reality?)


"Helen Reddy--Angie Baby Cartoon". LukeDuke908. February 19, 2012.



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But as a little aside: here's to Ms. Helen Reddy and her contribution to the real feminist marches, meetings and fights that women have had to undergo all these years of protest--I AM WOMAN

hear me roar, baby! Maybe? A lady? Shady? 

"I Am Woman--Helen Reddy". Sophie Othilla Ngo. January 18, 2013.


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"Looking for Mr. Goodbar (1977) clip". Films 411. September 20, 2016.






This brings back a very different memory of me and my grandmother marching in a protest to keep abortion legal. This march was in the streets of Phoenix, Arizona around the mid-late 80's. My grandmother and I had our arms around one another while marching amongst the protesters in the middle of a long train of women marching for abortion rights to continue. Strangely this was one of the few circumstances where me and my g-ma actually embraced for more than a few seconds (she was a bit distant and very controlling--maybe a bit like a Miss Havisham but in connubial bliss with my endearing grandfather who devoted his life and everything to her, and it was mutual but I know she cheated on him and he still loved her for it. They loved one another for more than 50 years like the best of friends and devoted to their deaths). She was loving but not a doting type (my mother called her a kind of "super bitch" personality). She kind of taught me the "hard way" not to get involved with the creeple that the Nazi organization flew into my path with my brain inundated with "gravy" mind control ooze mostly all my life. She kept admonishing me to pick better men but in a whiney way which kept me on my toes--endlessly looking for Mr. Goodbar and now I've given up on looking for the elusive ultimate deadly abuser fantasy (must see but mostly must read the book Looking for Mr. Goodbar to understand my drift, can you DIG IT?).

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"5 Easy Pieces--Stand By Your Man--Tammy Wynette". HD Film Tributes. June 22, 2021.




This song, and this movie 5 Easy Pieces come to mind in this miasma of memories associated with looking up celebrity fascination on the tube circuit pumped directly into your brain and heart---themes of feminism. Oddly, the woman who played the "feminist/independent" character who Mr. Nicholson lent one of his homes to, promising her that he would never kick her out, once she reached that untenable age he did, indeed kick her out. I don't know what happened to her since I assume she got over very well--maybe I'll look it up.... But the film 5 Easy Pieces is, in part, a depiction of the fantasy good girl wifey woman who dotes on her husband and every tear waiting to drop at the slightest hat falling the cliche perfect woman-as opposed to the 70's version of the New Independent Woman who could stand on her own (maybe to buy and purchase her own house? However now that I understand the good ole Mr. Goodbar Network I know that women being blocked from obtaining financial freedom is a thing and for real, dude. At least for me becuz I'm supposedly "dangerous" and very bad and the list of hate terms for me is endless according to the people using subliminals to drain my brain of all positive reinforcement about who an what I am--thus carried-on by the teleporting terrorist mind screw operators out of H-wood, the celebrities who seem to gain money from their exploits playing the freedom loving women but support male domination oppression to an extreme degree of violence when it comes to me, as they also participate in the violence, ostensibly to prove to the male-dominated media industry controlled, I assume, by men largely and the women who support misogynist woman-hating culture.

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"Tammy Wynette--Divorce (lyrics)".  Lee Westwick. September 6, 2012.





At least d-i-v-o-r-c-e is still legal....women who want independence still have a chance to not be as enslaved but mentally they remain cloistered and supporting cheerleaders for male abusive relationships---





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Non-stop, literally hours per day of "tears" forced out of my eyes due to the throat and (brain/nervous system) set of integrated (non-consensual) microchip implants forcing tears, tears down my destroyed skin around my eyes, cheeks and yelling screaming death threats hate mafia nazis surrounding me, taking a break from their "liberal" posturing in front of media photo-op fame 15 minutes per day for them---censorship for me and tears, tears forced out. While eating tears streaming out of my damaged eyes, my eyesight deteriorated years ago from tears and tears. Always it's one person who is in the "room" of mass-surveillance torture who is always there when the tear torture lasts for hours, non-stop. He hopes to "win" a huge prize and has already obtained probably a ton of money due to his endless torture, abuse and rape abuse death threats bringing in every body possible in the radius of his Californication secret enclave of torturing me-for-profit-and-promotion. The biggest hit in H-wood since sliced coke was doled out in parties that still lingers in addiction to instant gratification and grinding teeth for gritty grandizing self of course but a collective.//His name? Well, he's hoping to rule the land and the world by clinging onto having my face destroyed. Tears forced out of my eyes non-stop since 2011. It used to be pouring tears for hours, usually while I was driving (soft murder attempt no hesitation in saying this). //He's always there when this happens. His wife called me a prostitute for questioning her "feminist" claims while making documentaries on the subject. I have not watched them trying not to evoke the grasping hate clawing at me which is omnipresent every second of every nanosecond of my existence, in particular for watching 5-minute clips of these celebrities, politicians and etc who hack their videos on my youtube channel. I glue my mind to youtube to block out their subliminal although audible voices screaming every kind of insult and death threat at various audible levels directly into my brain as tears are pouring out tears while I am eating tears my eyes blurry can't read without glasses (used to have near perfect eyesight which lasted until the non-stop hours per day, day after day, month after month, year after year tears torture until it literally felt like my eyeballs were going to slide out of my head and potentially they can achieve this grotesque torture--also they can make your heart "explode" and etc with what I have read but never seen exposed as "microwave" torture which combined (not exclusively) with microchip implants (not sure if the interface is necessary or not or if they can simply induce a heart attack, a fatal attack, by microwave in and of itself as the energy source or even if microwave is the sole tech responsible for heart palpitations--they used to do this I wrote about it and at least that has been abated but not completely stopped--they torture me with heart palpitations still always when I am opening a letter from an agency which revolves around my survival as they also have attacked me using that route as well). ///This person is going to leave his officious office in January, 2027 but will he still be torturing me and bringing in various euro-hate people who he hands me over to RAPE BEAT rob and torture yelling death threats at me. They play these roles in movies and then enact the murderous aspects they play as heroes fighting for society to protect. I could go on the food chain effect of this as it's only one part of a chain of influencer activity which defies integrity. //My face has become very sagged downwards due to this tears torture. They also have used tech to literally force my lips and cheeks to be "pulled downwards" thus making my face appear very sad, tragic and marred the skin is destroyed from the salt and (base or acidic not sure should look it up) endless deteriorating content of the artificial tears. This forced tears torture also affects the mucus so there are knobs of "snot" in my nose and in the breathing apparatus which do not come out with just the normal nose-blowing or anything I must literally "pick" my nose to get these glue-globular globs out of my nose so air is not constricted. Just using a tissue to try to unglue this mucus out of my nose will not get it out. The substance is unnatural since the origin is unnatural. I write this because eventually I need to breathe since at night I must protect my mouth from their mechanical arms literally slicing gum tissue out of my jawline, my gum tissue they have cut it to the bone on my lower jaw. Eventually I had to devise a sleep wear apparatus so they can't so easily cut my gum tissue. When I collapse from toxic shock from the poisons they put in my body (all my life) I am unable to move after a certain point I must "collapse" on my bed and then they jab metal objects under my teeth like pricking instead of cutting what is barely left of the gum tissue. They also smear stinking greasy hair-removal substances into my hair and on the scalp so hair is constantly falling out if I don't protect my hair which has been happening very often for the past 6 months due to the extreme toxicity of the poisons in my back which are like an endless hell of trying to soften and get out. It is endless the poisons are rock-hard and bits expand, making me appear bloated (the terrorists who poisoned me for years then make jokes about my body when it is so bloated, while I am naked in my private space totally not private in other words, observing me naked making jokes about the mutilations and body disfiguration they forced on me using drugs and poisons in addition to the phsical scars covering my body. I have only elaborated slightly on a few). This man is a Democrat making all promises of defending the country from the ravages of the current system which is endorsing him through the celebrities who put the current into power but make all public claims of hating and "fighting" him. I have, as anyone can see, stopped writing in this format on blogger but nevertheless the hours of yelling death threat-laden abuse from rows of celebrities, mafia and political nazi-affiliated every party line and position in the spectrum sit abusing and glaring at me as under extreme brutal death threats (from mafia out of NYC, so accustomed to partnering with celebrities and political power structure that they are reliable attack systems intended to traumatize and torture people as proxy for the white bigots who have formed their civilian death squads and attack dogs out of these types of people who range from every culture and skin color race but this particular group is particularly brutal as they are proud and contemptuous about their entitlement to be the vicious death-threat and worse system which the blondies use them for. It's a symbiotic relationship but has been in function for decades. It's Mussolini and Hitler just in a macro level, in esssence. This man continuously always there when the tears torture is enacted has been part of at least 5 rapes of me in the past year and a half and enjoys it. His wife calls me a prostitute and they are trying to become the ultimate leaders of the United States after he leaves office in a few months.//My face is ravaged and destroyed in order to reverse the damage he himself with his selfish hate and greed has inflicted upon me (yes I said "NO"" to being sexually used and exploited by him. His feminist wife must have thwarted him from raping me so he got Germans and English to do it as his proxy. They are then welcomed into H-wood to become the "liberal" spokespeople along with the already established euro-=nazi cartel to enlarge the scope of their money-incentive puppy roll over and rape system. I am merely advocating for human rights, my rights and for payment for ideas stolen by the multi-millionaires and billionaires who have tortured ideas out of me. I stopped writing my ideas years ago so they torture me with horrific death threats and violent abuse. In deep sleep teleportation while I am extremely ill from yet another round of detoxing horrific poison which enlarges, takes over my body in the liquified state after having cemented into a hard plug shape and then expanding (it requires about 3 days after a huge, hard plug finally breaks out of the endless huge "shelf" of poison literally coating my spine, attached to my hip, extending down my crooked legs and up into my skull into my brain from the microchip implant(s). //My face is sunken in ward from the tears and the endless hate yelling and abuse they force on me nightly and daily. //They never stop literally never, ever stop attacking me tears always so I can't look in the mirror any longer my face shape has been so distorted it is pathetic and horrid to see the damage. It's all over my body they have used this system to deform me for decades. But this man and his feminist blonde wife are just endlessly forcing this torture on me and then when I am picking my nose so I can breathe at night, because I must cover my mouth and firmly wrap around string-like ropes so the mechanical arms can't breach my home-made protection gear (hand-sewn and made for this purpose) they also smear stinking permanently staining stench into the nose and mouth area and in every area where my nose can breathe in the stink that they spray and put on my clothing literally every day this is done. I am perpetually cleaning so my room doesn't perpetually stink even though I have open windows to air out the room.

  Then after the death threats by an "expert" (mafia out of NYC) telling me that he can get the poisons out of my back--just knifi...