Sunday, March 20, 2022

There's one of the celebrities who I occasionally do a search engine thang for just becuz it's a bit fun (is it healthy?). I use this as a thermometer of sorts for my situation. But my brain, being under such ominously distorted states due to external forces, picked up this memory out of my brain-memory bank and it just came to me--a song out of the 70's I would hear from WLS out of Chicago when I lived in Champaign (got reception all those miles away on my little radio in my bedroom). I had given up at that point on classical violin and wanted to be part of the "fun" music that "everyone" was getting hip to. I now recall a movie and book (I read the book, didn't get through the movie) called Looking for Mr. Goodbar.

 "Helen Reddy--Delta Dawn Music Video". YazerPro. February 12, 2009.




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But DELTA DAWN (now realizing this title also has significant symbolism but won't go into that detail right now): the song that just popped into my brain and memory is not linked to my opinion of the male actor, the association came with all the videos on YouTube that are crazy fan stuff---obsessive/compulsive drooling for a celebrity, for example--and other ideas I won't write about in the personal domain.

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...and my 2nd association from floating but associated ties to the fan-base idolatry of celebrity brings to mind the great character of Miss Havisham from Charles Dickens' Great Expectations--again, the book brings more detail but the film versions bring the character a bit to light. Ah, what a fantastic beast Miss Havisham has created in the general but perhaps forgotten literary and film landscape. This also has personal associations with the ideas floating through my mind of this weird situation foisted upon me with being teleported to "them"--as I watch the fan stuff on YouTube, the gossip and the posturing charitable photo-op stuff of the celebrities who couldn't give a damn about the issues unless it involves some kind of profit or fame for them and their most cherished careers. But Miss Havisham and Delta Dawn are both adoring the YouTube videos (featuring every day with a fan base of millions this most famous male/one who women kneel in devotion to, some women I mean. Also men, of course).


"Great Expectations 'Miss Havisham' Mertida Hunt, 1946". Cool Guy. May 28, 2017.



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...and this song comes to mind---not because of the NAME in the title but because of the song--(I had forgotten the title of the song and the name of the woman for whom Ms. Reddy is singing) but the weird crescent moon hanging over a dying swamp is the term I might use for the technologically obsessed---I heard this song out of Chicago, over 200 miles south in Champaign and I tried to understand it with a 12-year old mind but could not grasp the sordid waste of life that Ms. Reddy was singing about---the video, though, is quite the subliminal because in the first scene of a city scene is a most clear and defined phallic symbol building--almost clearly obscene--I think media is more adept at hiding such clues at this point. But it wasn't really meant or intended to be so hidden anyway---it has a direct bearing on this theme and of the not so veiled obsession with "big city" pipe dreams and men and love and media addiction devoid of reality---(or is addiction the ultimate reality?)


"Helen Reddy--Angie Baby Cartoon". LukeDuke908. February 19, 2012.



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But as a little aside: here's to Ms. Helen Reddy and her contribution to the real feminist marches, meetings and fights that women have had to undergo all these years of protest--I AM WOMAN

hear me roar, baby! Maybe? A lady? Shady? 

"I Am Woman--Helen Reddy". Sophie Othilla Ngo. January 18, 2013.


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"Looking for Mr. Goodbar (1977) clip". Films 411. September 20, 2016.






This brings back a very different memory of me and my grandmother marching in a protest to keep abortion legal. This march was in the streets of Phoenix, Arizona around the mid-late 80's. My grandmother and I had our arms around one another while marching amongst the protesters in the middle of a long train of women marching for abortion rights to continue. Strangely this was one of the few circumstances where me and my g-ma actually embraced for more than a few seconds (she was a bit distant and very controlling--maybe a bit like a Miss Havisham but in connubial bliss with my endearing grandfather who devoted his life and everything to her, and it was mutual but I know she cheated on him and he still loved her for it. They loved one another for more than 50 years like the best of friends and devoted to their deaths). She was loving but not a doting type (my mother called her a kind of "super bitch" personality). She kind of taught me the "hard way" not to get involved with the creeple that the Nazi organization flew into my path with my brain inundated with "gravy" mind control ooze mostly all my life. She kept admonishing me to pick better men but in a whiney way which kept me on my toes--endlessly looking for Mr. Goodbar and now I've given up on looking for the elusive ultimate deadly abuser fantasy (must see but mostly must read the book Looking for Mr. Goodbar to understand my drift, can you DIG IT?).

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"5 Easy Pieces--Stand By Your Man--Tammy Wynette". HD Film Tributes. June 22, 2021.




This song, and this movie 5 Easy Pieces come to mind in this miasma of memories associated with looking up celebrity fascination on the tube circuit pumped directly into your brain and heart---themes of feminism. Oddly, the woman who played the "feminist/independent" character who Mr. Nicholson lent one of his homes to, promising her that he would never kick her out, once she reached that untenable age he did, indeed kick her out. I don't know what happened to her since I assume she got over very well--maybe I'll look it up.... But the film 5 Easy Pieces is, in part, a depiction of the fantasy good girl wifey woman who dotes on her husband and every tear waiting to drop at the slightest hat falling the cliche perfect woman-as opposed to the 70's version of the New Independent Woman who could stand on her own (maybe to buy and purchase her own house? However now that I understand the good ole Mr. Goodbar Network I know that women being blocked from obtaining financial freedom is a thing and for real, dude. At least for me becuz I'm supposedly "dangerous" and very bad and the list of hate terms for me is endless according to the people using subliminals to drain my brain of all positive reinforcement about who an what I am--thus carried-on by the teleporting terrorist mind screw operators out of H-wood, the celebrities who seem to gain money from their exploits playing the freedom loving women but support male domination oppression to an extreme degree of violence when it comes to me, as they also participate in the violence, ostensibly to prove to the male-dominated media industry controlled, I assume, by men largely and the women who support misogynist woman-hating culture.

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"Tammy Wynette--Divorce (lyrics)".  Lee Westwick. September 6, 2012.





At least d-i-v-o-r-c-e is still legal....women who want independence still have a chance to not be as enslaved but mentally they remain cloistered and supporting cheerleaders for male abusive relationships---





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In a third world country the divide between the slaves of the plantation a/are clearly delinieated but in crap united states the rancid lying of the blacks and jews about how they are fighting racism and their "progressive" stance is a true KGB deception which has been instructed to them by shit like KGB-rancid ugly trash-nigger arnold and his ugly di/The hate that the hate of Whorewood ordered to hate and attack me: 2 floors down, where every single day they bring in construction workers to drill with electric saws into wood and steel---every day, except when white nazis are on their paid Nazi-gestapo home-invasion stalking attack-for-free rent mode---every day this room is pounding and drilling bringing wood and steal like it's a construction site---no amount of complaining for all 7 years has done anything to stop it the management says nothing the landlord yells that there is nothing going on. My phone is so hacked I can't record, take picture it is hacked remotely so it's impossible to use any function other than the phone part--all phones this happens to I am excluded from all modern technology thusly.//They put fungus into some condensced milk that was in a plastic storage in my refrigerator---about last week I opened it, it stank. There was another plastic container in the fridge but just not as visible as the tainted one, which I poured the condensed milk into on the same day. That was fine. Obviously by deduction one was poisoned the other not (this has happened innumerable times for years and years, my food if left open and especially when I leave my room on the odd occasion (but they use mechanical arms to open food while I am sleeping and they poison food that way as well). //The ugly, rancid and evil stinking filth of that ugly thug you all revere out of california by way of nazi austria, a foul and dirty rapist slime who is glamorized for his nazi smug pompous demeanor which I never admired for a second. Yet he has so many blacks rushing to get nazi approbation and approval that he and the other german(s) and austrians are continuously bringing in black and brown people to abuse me viciously as they sit back smirking. This foul ugly sinister filth bucket of a lack of manhood, a true parasite "bottom feeder" which represents the ugly hate racist bigotry of both victims loving their abuser in it's most hideous manifestation of obvious racism--the most savvy commentators on race in their rancid podcasts rush to viciously abuse me in front of this lummox of hate and stupidity and ugliness and stinking filth--which he orders his nasty minions to spray all over my clothing room bedsheets into my body--for years and years. The creeple in the room 2 floors which they have construction blaring sawing drilling all day from 11 am until at least 4 p m, every day when the sleazy ugly bigots come on their hate and death vacations to destroy steal rob break and make broken and stinking everything in my room--under orders of their white nazi filth out of whroewood who are operating with full permission from the nasty incompetence of the defunct government. I had nowere to pour this stinking fungus condensed milk out without it clogging pipes and thusly I poured it onto the ground from my patio---3 floors above ground level. A female began shouting something I said "sorry" and stopped. the next day another rancid item I discovered in my fridge--one item--small--I threw into the bushes instantly this woman began shouting with rage from her patio. The next day I poured out the daily grease that is poured into my beautiful yellow sulfur lamp so it has been whittled down to a tiny greasy sort of phallic shape instead of a beautiful and glistening yellow stone---every day they pour using mechanical arms about 3 tbsp of grease on the top of the easily crushed sulfur and it coagulates at the bottom of a dish I have to keep this on otherwise it's grease all over the sprayed black stinking area of yet another part of my room that is sprayed with black stinking filth which is very hard to wipe off--it's all permanently staininng so I must fight and scrub--with the poisoning they forced into my spine it's impossible for me to clean almost any of it becausea mostly I am cleaning every day filthy stinking sprayed clothing which they spray so often I must throw the clothing away the stench becomes permanent. I threw the greasy liquid, 2 tbsp or 3 at most---off the patio arm's length away from the ledge---and it was a little trickle of clear liquid set against a grey sky--really impossible to detect and could be identified as a trickle of water after rain coming down. Yelling screaming and slamming of doors ensued from this hate crap who is the ugly stinking filth of trash arnold negger this filthy sick putridity that has forced it's ugly nazi hate upon me to the applause of senators and trump who came to make sure that he was abusing me to death so that rancid filth family could continue to rape plunder all they can out of me and put that stupid and ugly filth dirty crap into lead position in whorewood--so the white trash trump family can continue to get everything out of the euro-hateland nazi cartel which put that crap in power to help put THEM in power over the stupid and complicit United States. The most fervent of followers appears to be the blacks and jews and latinos but of course white nazi trash america bigot inc has put that rancid filth into power and keeps him as some mascot of nazi overtake of the country just because they can't stand to see people "like me" have any power, money or success and beauty--they must destroy everything I am and my body and face and hair and etc every day they are mutilating and abusing me to destroy my appearance.///Today, at 1 a.m. the sky completely black no moon but pitch black. After days of more agonizing pain from the process of removing the hard poison pulling my spine in every single direction except the normal direction due to filth like ugly rancid shitnigger that ugly foul dirty stupid ape fuck---he's so disgusting it's unbelievable to me that Americans have gotten to such a stupid and low point to put a filth ape like that in power in any sense of the word but considering the empty and sleazy sick meaninglessness of the rancid crap I have been continuously exposed to out of congress--the progressives lying and hateful nazi rancid even the jews of that group---and the maga and the nazis and then the dirty and I believe really not great not capable "actors" of that rancid filthy machine of mind programming into Nazism which America has embraced. If you think journalism has been severely attacked, critical thinking in terms of these shit crap movies has been killed much longer ago but no one understands they just stare agape at these ape movies and believe in the posturing bullshitt of these crap "actors". ///Thusly, I was very sick, always that ugly fick filth arnold crap machine and his conglomeration of incompetent stupidity rushes to abuse me at my most sick and exhausted--and the poison is murderous poison he put in my body and his intention of killing me in that way has been thwarted so when I am shitting out this poison he lifts me up (in teleportation) while I am on the toilet grasping my abdomen in agony he lifts me up so I am in two states at once--he begins to punch my abdomen and sides while I am helpless on the toilet grasping in pain my body from the horrific poisons he and that group of stinking shit all ordered put in my body by hateful and sleazy stupid crap like the shit in the rooms beneath mine---but I poured this clear liquid out of the balcony edge making sure my arm was fully extended so the liquid only fell on the grass below---3 tablespoons at most. I went to sleep after having shat out more horrid poisons that shit like trashnigger arnold had put in my body---he's not the only one by any means---but it has formed an impregnable hard shell into my spine but each lesion is in a criss-cross fashion into my vertebrae pulling in all directions and NOTHING gets it out. I am in starving mode. As usual, I got up and my body instructed me to drink some warm liquid which I did and that brought outt the poison. But while playing a game during this process (it takes a while for the liquid to course through my body) this ugly lout of a hulking stupid ugly monster of shit began "insulting" me for not playing the game fast enough--I also like to enjoy the visuals. In my endless exhausted and sick state, the strength to try to "ignore" someone hissing hate into my inner ear directly into my brain becomes somewhat impossible and these filth shit ape losers of humanity make sure they drug me DRUGGING ME so my boundaries for self-control are rendered, essentially mute. Hissing at this ugly dirty filth to "shut up ugly stupid filth ape" because he's such a rancid ugly stupid fuck stealing my ideas as the black podcasters do and the white nazi podcasters do (all "progressives" they call t hemselves) but, I had to go back to sleep. One hour later the ugly trash yelling female creep began shouting on her balcony something and slamming her patio door as violently as possible--ostensibly because I poured clear liquid from my patio--3 tablespoons worth, onto the ground. Even in daylight it would be almost impossible to see or detect. That is the amount of surveillance but the abuse this ugly filth trash heap of rancid muscular ugly filth stupid ape and you all love him for his nazi violence. They are still asking me for ideas and then stealing them, this ugly stupid filth creep who has latched onto this contract because his shit career was on the decline as were all who join in--or the wanna be rich and famous rushing to get in proving how violently nazi they are--the blacks the jews---all under his stupidity but he is offering nazi pipeline gold money derived out of the holocaust to these sleazy stupid sick fuckers. In a third world country the divide between the slaves of the plantation are clearly delinieated but in crap united states the rancid lying of the blacks and jews about how they are fighting racism and their "progressive" stance is a true KGB deception which has been instructed to them by shit like KGB-rancid ugly trash-nigger arnold and his ugly dirty group of euro-filthland shit.

**hackers have forced me to rewrite, fight to republish as they delete most of sentences  have completely copied correctly--upon reopening t...