Sunday, March 20, 2022

There's one of the celebrities who I occasionally do a search engine thang for just becuz it's a bit fun (is it healthy?). I use this as a thermometer of sorts for my situation. But my brain, being under such ominously distorted states due to external forces, picked up this memory out of my brain-memory bank and it just came to me--a song out of the 70's I would hear from WLS out of Chicago when I lived in Champaign (got reception all those miles away on my little radio in my bedroom). I had given up at that point on classical violin and wanted to be part of the "fun" music that "everyone" was getting hip to. I now recall a movie and book (I read the book, didn't get through the movie) called Looking for Mr. Goodbar.

 "Helen Reddy--Delta Dawn Music Video". YazerPro. February 12, 2009.




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But DELTA DAWN (now realizing this title also has significant symbolism but won't go into that detail right now): the song that just popped into my brain and memory is not linked to my opinion of the male actor, the association came with all the videos on YouTube that are crazy fan stuff---obsessive/compulsive drooling for a celebrity, for example--and other ideas I won't write about in the personal domain.

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...and my 2nd association from floating but associated ties to the fan-base idolatry of celebrity brings to mind the great character of Miss Havisham from Charles Dickens' Great Expectations--again, the book brings more detail but the film versions bring the character a bit to light. Ah, what a fantastic beast Miss Havisham has created in the general but perhaps forgotten literary and film landscape. This also has personal associations with the ideas floating through my mind of this weird situation foisted upon me with being teleported to "them"--as I watch the fan stuff on YouTube, the gossip and the posturing charitable photo-op stuff of the celebrities who couldn't give a damn about the issues unless it involves some kind of profit or fame for them and their most cherished careers. But Miss Havisham and Delta Dawn are both adoring the YouTube videos (featuring every day with a fan base of millions this most famous male/one who women kneel in devotion to, some women I mean. Also men, of course).


"Great Expectations 'Miss Havisham' Mertida Hunt, 1946". Cool Guy. May 28, 2017.



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...and this song comes to mind---not because of the NAME in the title but because of the song--(I had forgotten the title of the song and the name of the woman for whom Ms. Reddy is singing) but the weird crescent moon hanging over a dying swamp is the term I might use for the technologically obsessed---I heard this song out of Chicago, over 200 miles south in Champaign and I tried to understand it with a 12-year old mind but could not grasp the sordid waste of life that Ms. Reddy was singing about---the video, though, is quite the subliminal because in the first scene of a city scene is a most clear and defined phallic symbol building--almost clearly obscene--I think media is more adept at hiding such clues at this point. But it wasn't really meant or intended to be so hidden anyway---it has a direct bearing on this theme and of the not so veiled obsession with "big city" pipe dreams and men and love and media addiction devoid of reality---(or is addiction the ultimate reality?)


"Helen Reddy--Angie Baby Cartoon". LukeDuke908. February 19, 2012.



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But as a little aside: here's to Ms. Helen Reddy and her contribution to the real feminist marches, meetings and fights that women have had to undergo all these years of protest--I AM WOMAN

hear me roar, baby! Maybe? A lady? Shady? 

"I Am Woman--Helen Reddy". Sophie Othilla Ngo. January 18, 2013.


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"Looking for Mr. Goodbar (1977) clip". Films 411. September 20, 2016.






This brings back a very different memory of me and my grandmother marching in a protest to keep abortion legal. This march was in the streets of Phoenix, Arizona around the mid-late 80's. My grandmother and I had our arms around one another while marching amongst the protesters in the middle of a long train of women marching for abortion rights to continue. Strangely this was one of the few circumstances where me and my g-ma actually embraced for more than a few seconds (she was a bit distant and very controlling--maybe a bit like a Miss Havisham but in connubial bliss with my endearing grandfather who devoted his life and everything to her, and it was mutual but I know she cheated on him and he still loved her for it. They loved one another for more than 50 years like the best of friends and devoted to their deaths). She was loving but not a doting type (my mother called her a kind of "super bitch" personality). She kind of taught me the "hard way" not to get involved with the creeple that the Nazi organization flew into my path with my brain inundated with "gravy" mind control ooze mostly all my life. She kept admonishing me to pick better men but in a whiney way which kept me on my toes--endlessly looking for Mr. Goodbar and now I've given up on looking for the elusive ultimate deadly abuser fantasy (must see but mostly must read the book Looking for Mr. Goodbar to understand my drift, can you DIG IT?).

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"5 Easy Pieces--Stand By Your Man--Tammy Wynette". HD Film Tributes. June 22, 2021.




This song, and this movie 5 Easy Pieces come to mind in this miasma of memories associated with looking up celebrity fascination on the tube circuit pumped directly into your brain and heart---themes of feminism. Oddly, the woman who played the "feminist/independent" character who Mr. Nicholson lent one of his homes to, promising her that he would never kick her out, once she reached that untenable age he did, indeed kick her out. I don't know what happened to her since I assume she got over very well--maybe I'll look it up.... But the film 5 Easy Pieces is, in part, a depiction of the fantasy good girl wifey woman who dotes on her husband and every tear waiting to drop at the slightest hat falling the cliche perfect woman-as opposed to the 70's version of the New Independent Woman who could stand on her own (maybe to buy and purchase her own house? However now that I understand the good ole Mr. Goodbar Network I know that women being blocked from obtaining financial freedom is a thing and for real, dude. At least for me becuz I'm supposedly "dangerous" and very bad and the list of hate terms for me is endless according to the people using subliminals to drain my brain of all positive reinforcement about who an what I am--thus carried-on by the teleporting terrorist mind screw operators out of H-wood, the celebrities who seem to gain money from their exploits playing the freedom loving women but support male domination oppression to an extreme degree of violence when it comes to me, as they also participate in the violence, ostensibly to prove to the male-dominated media industry controlled, I assume, by men largely and the women who support misogynist woman-hating culture.

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"Tammy Wynette--Divorce (lyrics)".  Lee Westwick. September 6, 2012.





At least d-i-v-o-r-c-e is still legal....women who want independence still have a chance to not be as enslaved but mentally they remain cloistered and supporting cheerleaders for male abusive relationships---





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The endless life-fuck scum that these whorewood "celebrity" terrorists truly are and how the politicians rush to enthusiastically endorse their corrupt to have every europigape nazi shit scum ape rush into america to inflict nazi overtake with full applause, funding for social engineering of the desturction of law, decency for a fascist takeover by shit immture sleazy dirty not highly intelligent shit crap who can repeat scripts. That applies in ranking order of intelligence and competency from the politicians the most adept at repeating scripts to the dumb scum actors (male and female) unbelievable how empty, sleazy and sick they truly are. The nazis overtook the Whorewood establishment probably in the 1930 it's accelerated to all involved are nazi recruits being told what to say and do. They used weinstein to make a humiliation nazi antisemitic explosion to rid h-wood of all jews except for the most brainwashed compliant. All that's left is nazi sick fuck spielberg whose movies are more on the dumb and stupid side year-by -year as his soul and brain deteriorate and that is all that is left of the old Jewish hollywood top level which had provided h-wood with originality and some great art. Now it's blank nazi square-jawed slime shit with maybe a jew belittled, humilated next to it always silent and writing the scripts for the nazi shit and stupid ape fucks to repeat they assume to make me ugly broken old so I fit into some abused jewish mold and even worse--just abused and "worked' to deatk without pay raped and tortured poisoned into a deformed shape then mocked for my body being scarred deformed my face now broken from years of tears torture hate screaming. Today this fucking scum nicolas cage came because I watched a goddamn 2009 movie and shit arnold ugly burgewr-nigger nazi came becauews I watched his fucking 1980-something damn terminigger movie only to see the change of modality of the concept of AI and robotics incorporated into warnings about dangers of tech. Like ooprah his only fixation was to torture as murderously adn sadistically as possible for DECADES using stupid ugly sick shitalina who has been thrilled at having shit man after shit pig ape "man" rape and torture me for over 20 years to the applause of hillary the"feminist" and gloria steinem the "feminist" all going off to england to be with shitalina''s mommy to party with royalty and be told they are elite nazi fame and fortune 500 club exclusive. The dirty sick fucks never stop torrturing me using this tech. They are so rotten ugly and dirty they MUST abuse me to obtain ideas after years of stealing my writing and ensuring I am dying from poisoning never stopping the poisoning until Iam screaming onlihnje for help every day to stop the murder as they kept going to oscars using my ideas. They stare with hate when I scream to fucking pay me for the ideas the yhave blocked out all evidence that I wrote the ideas I can never type think or function they attack my brain my body my writing my technology I am stuck writing hysterical posts the torrture and abuse is without end day and night. They were MURDERING ME before I began to fight back in goddamn fucking 2011 and it's been increasing abuse and torrture to death for me fighting to not be murdered and torrured while being forced on my knees with penises forced in my mouth as the nazi men slapped my face and scream "bitch" at me as blonde nazi women laugh and smile while they ahve groups and groups of shit nazis and brown and black vicious and violent nazi minions attack me--when I finally scream they are plantation black slsves aunt jemimas and uncle toms the reality they rush to protect their white nazi trash like what malcolm x said "we sick master?" fighting for them abusing me for defending myself and then viciously punching hitting and slapping me for calling them uncle toms and aunt jemimas--terms I learned from listening to malcolm x the leader of these blacks had him killed so he could mop up the residue of the former black civil rigthts movement and turn it into nazi collusion to kill jews get them out of new york take over the jews are the problem. So it's another white trash sick fuck with hundreds of millions of dollars for his white nazi trash movies abusing me because the nazi group within 10 minutes of me watching a 2009 movie starrring this boring ugly sick fuck came to abuse me he rushed somehow obtained the technology or was teleported began to abuse me I had a horrific "belch" because of the stress on my dying body and poison in my intestines as I sat in utter sickness-this group knows when I am extremely sick which I was at that point it was only poison detox (shitting out hard "plugs" of poison then the liquid chunks and then diarrhea of poison traped in my body, in my back in my abdomen they have put it in me and had pig nazi celebrity shit whorews rape and fuck the poison into my body while I could not even brace against impact). Burping as the poisons shifted from detox #2 or #3 of the morning, taking a few hours to finalize the detox process the labyrinth of the poisons serpentine in trapped conduits of my body's internal digestive tract--and I shat out poisons today 8 times the entire morning and afternoon (was able to clean the sprayed with stinking filth items from my bed the exertion made the poisons come out--20 years actually 30 years of non-stop shitting diarrhea fighting to stop thepoisoning now endlessly fighting to get the hard blocks of it out--tiny pieces break off from great painful exertion in stretches really pulling my spine in all directions extremely painful while ;they abuse me day and night thus my face sunken inward hu8ge black circles my body scarred from years of mechanical arms slashing into my skin dousing skin with harsh chjemicals to break skin texture down--my face destroyed from tears and abuse and hate screaming daily to get the next sick shit fuck off me--dirty gavin newsom exponentially increassed the abuse after the shitalina crew had spent decades abusing me every day to the delight of nazi obama shit married pair of crap you all adulate the pompous blathering yapping bullshit con aartists and also hillary and the clintons a sham a total deception.