Sunday, March 20, 2022

There's one of the celebrities who I occasionally do a search engine thang for just becuz it's a bit fun (is it healthy?). I use this as a thermometer of sorts for my situation. But my brain, being under such ominously distorted states due to external forces, picked up this memory out of my brain-memory bank and it just came to me--a song out of the 70's I would hear from WLS out of Chicago when I lived in Champaign (got reception all those miles away on my little radio in my bedroom). I had given up at that point on classical violin and wanted to be part of the "fun" music that "everyone" was getting hip to. I now recall a movie and book (I read the book, didn't get through the movie) called Looking for Mr. Goodbar.

 "Helen Reddy--Delta Dawn Music Video". YazerPro. February 12, 2009.




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But DELTA DAWN (now realizing this title also has significant symbolism but won't go into that detail right now): the song that just popped into my brain and memory is not linked to my opinion of the male actor, the association came with all the videos on YouTube that are crazy fan stuff---obsessive/compulsive drooling for a celebrity, for example--and other ideas I won't write about in the personal domain.

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...and my 2nd association from floating but associated ties to the fan-base idolatry of celebrity brings to mind the great character of Miss Havisham from Charles Dickens' Great Expectations--again, the book brings more detail but the film versions bring the character a bit to light. Ah, what a fantastic beast Miss Havisham has created in the general but perhaps forgotten literary and film landscape. This also has personal associations with the ideas floating through my mind of this weird situation foisted upon me with being teleported to "them"--as I watch the fan stuff on YouTube, the gossip and the posturing charitable photo-op stuff of the celebrities who couldn't give a damn about the issues unless it involves some kind of profit or fame for them and their most cherished careers. But Miss Havisham and Delta Dawn are both adoring the YouTube videos (featuring every day with a fan base of millions this most famous male/one who women kneel in devotion to, some women I mean. Also men, of course).


"Great Expectations 'Miss Havisham' Mertida Hunt, 1946". Cool Guy. May 28, 2017.



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...and this song comes to mind---not because of the NAME in the title but because of the song--(I had forgotten the title of the song and the name of the woman for whom Ms. Reddy is singing) but the weird crescent moon hanging over a dying swamp is the term I might use for the technologically obsessed---I heard this song out of Chicago, over 200 miles south in Champaign and I tried to understand it with a 12-year old mind but could not grasp the sordid waste of life that Ms. Reddy was singing about---the video, though, is quite the subliminal because in the first scene of a city scene is a most clear and defined phallic symbol building--almost clearly obscene--I think media is more adept at hiding such clues at this point. But it wasn't really meant or intended to be so hidden anyway---it has a direct bearing on this theme and of the not so veiled obsession with "big city" pipe dreams and men and love and media addiction devoid of reality---(or is addiction the ultimate reality?)


"Helen Reddy--Angie Baby Cartoon". LukeDuke908. February 19, 2012.



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But as a little aside: here's to Ms. Helen Reddy and her contribution to the real feminist marches, meetings and fights that women have had to undergo all these years of protest--I AM WOMAN

hear me roar, baby! Maybe? A lady? Shady? 

"I Am Woman--Helen Reddy". Sophie Othilla Ngo. January 18, 2013.


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"Looking for Mr. Goodbar (1977) clip". Films 411. September 20, 2016.






This brings back a very different memory of me and my grandmother marching in a protest to keep abortion legal. This march was in the streets of Phoenix, Arizona around the mid-late 80's. My grandmother and I had our arms around one another while marching amongst the protesters in the middle of a long train of women marching for abortion rights to continue. Strangely this was one of the few circumstances where me and my g-ma actually embraced for more than a few seconds (she was a bit distant and very controlling--maybe a bit like a Miss Havisham but in connubial bliss with my endearing grandfather who devoted his life and everything to her, and it was mutual but I know she cheated on him and he still loved her for it. They loved one another for more than 50 years like the best of friends and devoted to their deaths). She was loving but not a doting type (my mother called her a kind of "super bitch" personality). She kind of taught me the "hard way" not to get involved with the creeple that the Nazi organization flew into my path with my brain inundated with "gravy" mind control ooze mostly all my life. She kept admonishing me to pick better men but in a whiney way which kept me on my toes--endlessly looking for Mr. Goodbar and now I've given up on looking for the elusive ultimate deadly abuser fantasy (must see but mostly must read the book Looking for Mr. Goodbar to understand my drift, can you DIG IT?).

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"5 Easy Pieces--Stand By Your Man--Tammy Wynette". HD Film Tributes. June 22, 2021.




This song, and this movie 5 Easy Pieces come to mind in this miasma of memories associated with looking up celebrity fascination on the tube circuit pumped directly into your brain and heart---themes of feminism. Oddly, the woman who played the "feminist/independent" character who Mr. Nicholson lent one of his homes to, promising her that he would never kick her out, once she reached that untenable age he did, indeed kick her out. I don't know what happened to her since I assume she got over very well--maybe I'll look it up.... But the film 5 Easy Pieces is, in part, a depiction of the fantasy good girl wifey woman who dotes on her husband and every tear waiting to drop at the slightest hat falling the cliche perfect woman-as opposed to the 70's version of the New Independent Woman who could stand on her own (maybe to buy and purchase her own house? However now that I understand the good ole Mr. Goodbar Network I know that women being blocked from obtaining financial freedom is a thing and for real, dude. At least for me becuz I'm supposedly "dangerous" and very bad and the list of hate terms for me is endless according to the people using subliminals to drain my brain of all positive reinforcement about who an what I am--thus carried-on by the teleporting terrorist mind screw operators out of H-wood, the celebrities who seem to gain money from their exploits playing the freedom loving women but support male domination oppression to an extreme degree of violence when it comes to me, as they also participate in the violence, ostensibly to prove to the male-dominated media industry controlled, I assume, by men largely and the women who support misogynist woman-hating culture.

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"Tammy Wynette--Divorce (lyrics)".  Lee Westwick. September 6, 2012.





At least d-i-v-o-r-c-e is still legal....women who want independence still have a chance to not be as enslaved but mentally they remain cloistered and supporting cheerleaders for male abusive relationships---





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Throat-induced (non-consensual) microchip torture forcing tears, throat constriction while eating, and the endless hate of this group of just extremely hateful celebrities and politicians remains as the daily hours of abuse per morning. Amazing that in this afternoon they are not still abusing me in rows of chairs staring like starved rats and leeches devouring my energy, life force and sucking out ideas which I spill out continuously for hours after their torture and abuse without end (18 years by now on a non-stop daily basis, leading to 16 hours per day and night ore more over the past 2 years but almost the same under the biden hellscape period and endless torture under trump 1st term and endless near-death poisoning and abuse (under all) but under obamas which remain as steadfast abuser-for-profit black nazi terrorists working with all their good white nazi supremacists in whorewood and congress whorewood. Aspiring politicians are rushing to join in, as they torture me and remain silent as they abuse ideas out of me. The former governor and soon-to-be former governor of that golden state cali are now a cali cartel of violent rape abusers and hateful exploiters of me with their throngs of minorities, has been celebrities and already established but not quite on the non-stop tier of non-stop top awards as the bulk of those who have spent 18 years torturing me day and night remain after their careers were faltering until they leeched latched onto abusing me nearly to death. They remain despite my months of writing about them, only handing this torture apparatus to their "friends" who need this career-enhancement so they take turns all obrtaining lead roles oscars awards and asking me non-stop all morning for ideas. Ignoring them is impossible. The amount of energy required would take up litearlly all of my life force to ignore their violence since they augment it non-stop with physical torture such as tears pouring out of my eyes. My skin is thoroughly damaged my eyesight permanently deteriorated to a degree I can no longer read without glasses, the prescription is increasing and increasing. My face looking so foreign to me from not only tears forced out of my eyes hour and hours per day, for literally years on end without end daily (this had stopped for a while until newsom obtained pemission by trump to inflict this torture after I endorsed newsom's prop 50 in california--the redistricting plan. Under drugging and extreme violent torture I wrote a message to his facebook page, and like depp back in 2012 he began violence, rape torture and increased it to non-stop terrorism when I said "no" to being his willing "sex slave" abuse victim and substitute for his domestic violence problems, which all the people involved are heavily invested in transference onto the stalking target so it appears they are all by-products of domestic violence or extreme racist policy alteriing the possibility of people in the United States elevating above racist cliches that only the white nazis are the "most beautiful". The horrific endless physical torture for mutilation and destruction of the face has been ongoing since this plastic surgery rife hate group out of h-wood began clutching at destroying my lief in every way possible. Before that it was "Just" poisoning jme into a huge, football shaped poisoned and dying drugged into near comatose levels of incoherency victim to be exploited (ideas without end beginining with the English wealthy "art dealer" I met for circa 4 hours total back in 1987 during a summer vacation trip to London with a Eurail pass. I was put into a little "bedsit" studio across the street from him in Chelsea (the Engllish creep who has spent 16 hours pe day yelling non-stop abuse and death threat yelled "that's what you get for trying to live in Chelsea" when I had written in my blog that I was put there by a real estate agent when I asked for a little room on my budget (they raised the price for me it went lower after I stopped renting I had asked afterwards) and I had no actual "choice" in the matter I had no idea where to go and this agent told me there was '"one bedsit" which fit my request (in all of London) conveniently across the street in a "posh" area from a man connected to the contract my family had made with the English in connection to the movie Deliverance, back in 1974). Back to today: tears pouring out again as I sat yelling my tirade of "leave me alone" type "get off me" endless daily repetition of this theme. They sit like statues adorned with the promise that respecting any single thing about me is FORBIDDEN they happily comply. They remain sitting and digging into my psyche to obtain ideas. They never say thank you there never any interesting reply except for the ugly hissing of the dirty hate spawn of Depp yelling her daily non-stop "loser" at me after they obtain ideas (my ideas have furnished her movies, the only ones that made any significant headlines in her entire career and her modeling came about as part of this scheme to use h-wood to bring in nazi infiltrators via h-wood into controlling american politics using nazi and english crown money handed out and distributed like candy to drooling addicts Americans they call "stupid" behind their backs---they say it openly at me whenever they can, these nasty English in particular but it is echoed throughout the Euro-diaspora of nazi persuasion. But AFTER they torture me to obtain ideas and use tears torture in part to obtain ideas. The pain is now reaching agony misery stages of torture from over 15 years of tears being forced out of my eyes. Additionally as usual the russian ballet exploiter who operates a sly strategy of claiming to be "helping" me and adds a few tips, which are beneficial but only after I think of the tips myself first--thusly only repeating my thoughts and adding a few to adjust the endless onslaught of English, French,; Austrian and German rapists and abusers he partners with, as his proxy abuse squads groups of euro-haters screaming murder, all kinds of insults. The body builder out of Austria the former gov of that dread state which used to be some kind of "open-minded" paradise of developers and cereative potential is now torturing me non-stop for years to obtain original ideas which the English crown furnishes with millions of dollars in funding for huge grand set design and costume grandeur to bolster the scripts which have, in part my ideas derived out of torture and then the usual nazi platform propaganda scripts which are essential copies of paradigms of such platitudes which echoes the platitudes the politicians use, who also observe my screaming responses to "why is this bad" and then tears torture, everything broken, stinking and more damage to my body, my property what is left of it with endless death threats and abuse going on and on for hours per day. //Never once even a basic "thank you" or any kind of money or support just abuse and then they finally just vanish and they obtain the ideas, taking notes on how they can use the ideas, and then threatening me with death having their hateful expletive scream "loser" or they just say how "stupid" the ideas are and then I see my ideas used in their movies which I deem to be a lessening of extreme originality of my original concept and turned into yet another formula nazi propagandized movie which "wins' an award and then is forgotten evermore since the movies leave no lasting mark on anybody's minds except perhaps for the mental masturbation of watching their skank rape nazi women or men gyrating or heaving around with sexual allure supposedly (years of plastic surgery and modeling with all kinds of subliminals, I believe, to enhance this effect on the viewer). //The script to "help" me while I am exercising has been used by two foreign men coming out of the near former soviet and nazi encampments which Americans have "forgotten" were once dedicated to destroying American and infiltrating and taking it over. As if it was never a threat American nazi celebrities rally around the extremely violent abusers in their ploys and schemes of torture, obtained from Stasi and Nazi administrators of mind control operations. Tested in Nazi concentration camps, by CIA LSD drug lords posing as experimenting on mind control MK ULTRA upon the unwitting prostitutes and politicians who could be bribed thus the mind control was easily ascertained upon both the wealthy and eduated as well as the desperate and possibly less well-educated simultaneously. Their mind control operates always the same: I am exercising to try to break the "internal shelf structure" of hard posions jutting out of my back, blocking movement along with the fractured vertebrae along my entire spine, performed in the span of years to inflict total disability and then denying me health care, even when I obtained it after years of struggle and applying for disability--which they have had cut off and have tried in the past month to block all attempts for me to have it reinstated by infecting my laptop so badly infected it's unusable, turning electricity off completely where I live for days and days and then increasing the abuse from people in all tech shops to the point of near physical fights because I am under mind control in such spaces and unable to contain the rage they use brainwave and subliminal phrases and literal body functions to obtain (affecting thoughts and emotions into hyperbolic knee-jerk instant reaction of rage, combined with life-threat to my existence on levels of extreme stress and drugging abuse and all avenues of producing the hundred or so downloads this agency required for them to assess my case after 16 months of no response and non-stop abuse and torrture rape from one trump politician who partners with the usual obama and clinton teams and the old biden-era abusers from the dem party are sitting next to their "opponents on the other side" all working to abuse me into "submission" for their co-joint partnership in a total entropic overtake leading America into a non-stop fascist dictatorship but "benevolent" when the dems take power.

  The ploy that is used to obtain more perks, deals and permissions to control the entertainment-political entropic realm is handed to this ...