Sunday, March 20, 2022

There's one of the celebrities who I occasionally do a search engine thang for just becuz it's a bit fun (is it healthy?). I use this as a thermometer of sorts for my situation. But my brain, being under such ominously distorted states due to external forces, picked up this memory out of my brain-memory bank and it just came to me--a song out of the 70's I would hear from WLS out of Chicago when I lived in Champaign (got reception all those miles away on my little radio in my bedroom). I had given up at that point on classical violin and wanted to be part of the "fun" music that "everyone" was getting hip to. I now recall a movie and book (I read the book, didn't get through the movie) called Looking for Mr. Goodbar.

 "Helen Reddy--Delta Dawn Music Video". YazerPro. February 12, 2009.




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But DELTA DAWN (now realizing this title also has significant symbolism but won't go into that detail right now): the song that just popped into my brain and memory is not linked to my opinion of the male actor, the association came with all the videos on YouTube that are crazy fan stuff---obsessive/compulsive drooling for a celebrity, for example--and other ideas I won't write about in the personal domain.

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...and my 2nd association from floating but associated ties to the fan-base idolatry of celebrity brings to mind the great character of Miss Havisham from Charles Dickens' Great Expectations--again, the book brings more detail but the film versions bring the character a bit to light. Ah, what a fantastic beast Miss Havisham has created in the general but perhaps forgotten literary and film landscape. This also has personal associations with the ideas floating through my mind of this weird situation foisted upon me with being teleported to "them"--as I watch the fan stuff on YouTube, the gossip and the posturing charitable photo-op stuff of the celebrities who couldn't give a damn about the issues unless it involves some kind of profit or fame for them and their most cherished careers. But Miss Havisham and Delta Dawn are both adoring the YouTube videos (featuring every day with a fan base of millions this most famous male/one who women kneel in devotion to, some women I mean. Also men, of course).


"Great Expectations 'Miss Havisham' Mertida Hunt, 1946". Cool Guy. May 28, 2017.



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...and this song comes to mind---not because of the NAME in the title but because of the song--(I had forgotten the title of the song and the name of the woman for whom Ms. Reddy is singing) but the weird crescent moon hanging over a dying swamp is the term I might use for the technologically obsessed---I heard this song out of Chicago, over 200 miles south in Champaign and I tried to understand it with a 12-year old mind but could not grasp the sordid waste of life that Ms. Reddy was singing about---the video, though, is quite the subliminal because in the first scene of a city scene is a most clear and defined phallic symbol building--almost clearly obscene--I think media is more adept at hiding such clues at this point. But it wasn't really meant or intended to be so hidden anyway---it has a direct bearing on this theme and of the not so veiled obsession with "big city" pipe dreams and men and love and media addiction devoid of reality---(or is addiction the ultimate reality?)


"Helen Reddy--Angie Baby Cartoon". LukeDuke908. February 19, 2012.



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But as a little aside: here's to Ms. Helen Reddy and her contribution to the real feminist marches, meetings and fights that women have had to undergo all these years of protest--I AM WOMAN

hear me roar, baby! Maybe? A lady? Shady? 

"I Am Woman--Helen Reddy". Sophie Othilla Ngo. January 18, 2013.


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"Looking for Mr. Goodbar (1977) clip". Films 411. September 20, 2016.






This brings back a very different memory of me and my grandmother marching in a protest to keep abortion legal. This march was in the streets of Phoenix, Arizona around the mid-late 80's. My grandmother and I had our arms around one another while marching amongst the protesters in the middle of a long train of women marching for abortion rights to continue. Strangely this was one of the few circumstances where me and my g-ma actually embraced for more than a few seconds (she was a bit distant and very controlling--maybe a bit like a Miss Havisham but in connubial bliss with my endearing grandfather who devoted his life and everything to her, and it was mutual but I know she cheated on him and he still loved her for it. They loved one another for more than 50 years like the best of friends and devoted to their deaths). She was loving but not a doting type (my mother called her a kind of "super bitch" personality). She kind of taught me the "hard way" not to get involved with the creeple that the Nazi organization flew into my path with my brain inundated with "gravy" mind control ooze mostly all my life. She kept admonishing me to pick better men but in a whiney way which kept me on my toes--endlessly looking for Mr. Goodbar and now I've given up on looking for the elusive ultimate deadly abuser fantasy (must see but mostly must read the book Looking for Mr. Goodbar to understand my drift, can you DIG IT?).

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"5 Easy Pieces--Stand By Your Man--Tammy Wynette". HD Film Tributes. June 22, 2021.




This song, and this movie 5 Easy Pieces come to mind in this miasma of memories associated with looking up celebrity fascination on the tube circuit pumped directly into your brain and heart---themes of feminism. Oddly, the woman who played the "feminist/independent" character who Mr. Nicholson lent one of his homes to, promising her that he would never kick her out, once she reached that untenable age he did, indeed kick her out. I don't know what happened to her since I assume she got over very well--maybe I'll look it up.... But the film 5 Easy Pieces is, in part, a depiction of the fantasy good girl wifey woman who dotes on her husband and every tear waiting to drop at the slightest hat falling the cliche perfect woman-as opposed to the 70's version of the New Independent Woman who could stand on her own (maybe to buy and purchase her own house? However now that I understand the good ole Mr. Goodbar Network I know that women being blocked from obtaining financial freedom is a thing and for real, dude. At least for me becuz I'm supposedly "dangerous" and very bad and the list of hate terms for me is endless according to the people using subliminals to drain my brain of all positive reinforcement about who an what I am--thus carried-on by the teleporting terrorist mind screw operators out of H-wood, the celebrities who seem to gain money from their exploits playing the freedom loving women but support male domination oppression to an extreme degree of violence when it comes to me, as they also participate in the violence, ostensibly to prove to the male-dominated media industry controlled, I assume, by men largely and the women who support misogynist woman-hating culture.

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"Tammy Wynette--Divorce (lyrics)".  Lee Westwick. September 6, 2012.





At least d-i-v-o-r-c-e is still legal....women who want independence still have a chance to not be as enslaved but mentally they remain cloistered and supporting cheerleaders for male abusive relationships---





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Don't put more rancid euro-trash nazis into power in California and anywhere else: California Elections a stinking take-over by the Euro-filth of arnold shittrash nigger slime filth and the Euro-ape Hilton----another Nazi bigot partnering with that filth crap. In interview (below) Hilton describes how his "good friend" ugly sleazy sick shitnigger arnold is "going back into entertainment" OUT OF TORTURING ME the ugly stupid slime filth has been given permission to put his filth into whorewood once more. Years of that stupid ugly rat ape trash excrement doing nothing because he is talented and creative as a rat's dropping and is a hateful nazi bigot but beloved by the stupid trash shit of whroewood because he is so violent and so nazi that all the groveling followers rely on him to abuse me nearly to death so they can get this contract. The ugly sick filth has been raping, torturing, beating, threatening me with death endless hours of abuse until I am unable to stop "ignoring" them from HOURS AND HOURS and when I do, the ugly rat ape screams "I'm sick of your reaction" and rushes to hit, lift me up hitting me, threatening to kill me, and then he brings on MORE GROUPS of shit and scum to abuse, hit punch and rape me for HOURS PER DAY until I react, then the death threats to just say nothing recede and allow the humiliation and abuse to continue. He's so ugly and rancid but so adored by the stupid shit of whroewood and congress it shows the absolute decline of all cultural intelligence in America. The rancid filth group of a$$=groveling obsequious dumb scum put in control over whroewood were chosen deliberately to muck everything up with horrid movies stupid nazi superhero marvel crap endless stupid and fake "woke" scripts played by rancid endlessly boring A$$=level "actors" who take turns annually to get lead roles along with the rancid directions so there is NEVER fresh talent and if there are 'NEW FACES' they are just replicas but so blank and boring and horrid that there's almost nothing left. Now that as Hilton the next nazi eurtrash maga election denier nazi comes into power with the beckoning of rancid ugly arnold the trash that you stupid fucks reading this can never detect, you only see the handouts the money the feeling of redemption if you are black or jewish to be smiled at by the crock ugly sleaze that this fraud scum really is---everything he does is under instruction by his central committee nazis out of euro-hateland transmitted globally via satellite or in their other modalities. He has almost not creative ideas is just a prick on steroids which have imploded in his rancid ugly body and his mentality matches the rot and sick stench. This filth creep has been placed into entertainment "leadership" due to MONTHS AND MONTHS AND YEARS AND YEARS OF organizing MURDER of me and he's disappointed that I am fighting to heal so under the pretext of "helping" me to heal he's abusing me to death but so slyly. This is his real personality his real modus operandi but the sick fucks in "power" can't discern this only the money this filth nazi scum ugly trash hands out and the next tv show the next gyrating black pu$$y show they gyrate and hate upon me with ferocity that is almost murderous if only they were allowed they would--(j-lo, cardi b with kamala for example with yet another rapist dirty german dumb scum they worship as the brainwashed minority minion sleazy prostituted "icons" of plantation sex slavery they are used for by the white nazi trash of whorewood and congress as well (as they just partner with every sleazy sick fuck from whorewood to get the nazi pipeline funding through that endless carnal orifice of rape and sexual violence and white male entitlement to all, which this filthy ape shitnigger epitomizes. The Demo-rat sex scandal with whatever his name was who dropped out, the Demo-rat who sexually abused women; this is what shitnigger arnold the trash sick stupid fuck encourages because it DEMORALIZES america and turns it into more of a controllable banana republic for his group to take over. The bs of this Hilton scumbag is obvious to me and the code he is using to pronounce that "change" is needed in whoerwood means the inevitable NAZI TAKEOVER of eurotrash shit over h-wood because they put, deliberately, such talentless scum in power after kicking weinstein out--and I am defending wesinstein what the accounts of sexual mischief he did are NOTHING compared to the stinking ugly sickness of arnold and the shit of californication and whorewood and the government who rush to joyfully laugh at my situation while they get endless kudos for their careers--i.e. amy klobuchar now deemed such a wonderful and reliable politician in minnesota a reliable nazi racist who "fights' for blonde women as the nazi strategy goes but laughed openly at me and smiled lovingly at a stupid as fuck german slime actor who like them all is handed the nazi money pipeline to buy off politicians and the filth celebrities who increasingly hand everything over to nazi eurotraswh to take over--their racism and sexism excluding blonde nazi trash american shit skanks (supposedly, for now at least inevitably they want all white male complete domination with eurotrash blonde nazi women controlling what few slots are left for appearances---). //Stinking sprays on my bedsheets and the pillows I use to prop up my very damaged body--the expletive who had me poisoned so I am in this condition is ordering this--his ugly stench from his psychic filth is endlessly being dumped on me. The United States government in all it's racist and misogynist hate is allowing every male nazi black, white jewish asian latino et al hateful bigot vying for women "like me" to be so oppressed I can't ever get anything done except to clean their stench which they order sprayed on everything, day and night. This began not with this ugly pile of rancid disgusting austrian filth, but he's just endlessly a stench pot of hate and stupidity. He asked me what I would do if I were not attacked any longer with a tremor in his stupid ugly ape voice--which was his trepidation and fear that I could ever accomplish anything of more worthiness than that stupid ugly sick ape who has been handed everything for his body building ape nazi programming--voice-to-skull into his stupid brain for every governor decision and statement---all handed to that ugly sick crap filth parasite. You all just love the bs movie allure of the fake altruism of the murder nazi bigot otherwise a stench hateful stupid idiot sick filth cesspool of stupid hate nazi programming. Americans love this stink filth. All I have seen is a blank and incompetent scum not capable of controlling whorewood except to crank out more thug nazi violent murder and fake altruism bs--that's how the nazis have risen to power using all the ideas they steal from the actual benevolent people fighting shit like them while these same people get tortured to death and poisoned and abused to death using this system that SHIT like elizabeth warren a truly despicable and sinister ugly fraud embraces. It's disgusting how Americans also "believe" that the "demo-rats" who were put in power under rump regime 1.666 rather than the 2.666 the country is suffering through right now--are puppets installed under that rump umbrella raining s**t in fake "liberal" disguise (i.e. jamie ratskin a most perfidous fraud as wel). In short, the demorats are as fascist and nazis and controlled frauds also being told what to say and do. The whole country is a shambles the gang stalking system ensures that people get state-sponsored death with silence and all is protected. Now that rancid filth like elizabeth warren and her fraudulent bs squad bs crap partners have sucked as much crypo-scam money out of the rump admin corruption schemes using filth like my attorney brother scum (not my brother a parasitic ugly sinister nazi puppet completely brainwashed as so many are into nazi programming for both self-destruction as well as annihilation of anyone like me who actually has any dignity for race and self awareness--they defer they bow and scrape but get to live with nazi abusive partners in the suburbs around other nazis that has been their only goal in life; obviously AIPAC suported and my murder they have all rushed to once more participate in under the ugly sickness stench of shitalina that stupid dirty sick filth trash and pig ape pitt--always welcoming in people i avoid ignore who had drugged and exploited me who I finally realized after decades of no one ever warning me about the system I was embroiled in thanks to this shit government and sick society). They bring them in to torture me. They bring in every sick loser scum who got over on me by drugging and having my sleazy dirty family attack me as their proxy. So ugly shitnegger that dirty stupid but conniving and lying (but all instrsuctions are given him by the central nazi committee out of euro-hate pig land---and all the Nazi influencer money handed to these filth rat german and austrian sick sleaze slime creeps bbeing put into "ambassador" position to pay off every goddamn black wanna be approve-of by white supremacy pawn violence and murder enforcement---thusly America is a sick joke it's sickness is now apparent it's a joke around the world but the world paid to have america infiltrated so the nazi mode would crush and destroy america from within. Trying to explain to all the minority women how this most bigoted and ugly sick trash filth like arnold this dirrty stupid and incompetent ape--with rancid sold-out crap like spielberg just gravitating to that ugly sinister crap because the money and oscar pipeline has been put into the ugly hands of the dirty nazi germanic shit like arnold that rancid filth and every german who gets involved in this contract out on me is elevated into having money go through them so they are just welcomed like sweet-smelling trash that they become to he groveling desperation of the endless cloying grabbing greasy greedy sick fucks of american culture. Trying to tell the black women that this filth ape who raped me had me raped mutilated and is training the stupid shit like shitalina and ape pitt on how to be fascist for a complete nazi overtake of entertainment (it has already been accomplished under rump 1.666 but now they are consolidating power) how shit like ugly arnold that rancid pile of shit and his english bigots and italian fascists and french sleazy slime fucks will kick black brown women out first, if not already and will steal ideas rape and abuse without end anybody trying to display their talents if it comes close to competing with this group of hateful mediocrity. The wool over the perception of americans in worshipping this shit is tantamount to worshipping the health benefits of eating mcdonalds every day--fast trashy feel-good welcome to white supremacy bullshit crap they worship it. Whatever is fast and easy with the promise of satiation for their sense of inferiority, a "high" on power.

  as america always does exactly the opposite of what I have warned of, all these years warning about the rise of nazis the rise of death sq...