Sunday, March 20, 2022

There's one of the celebrities who I occasionally do a search engine thang for just becuz it's a bit fun (is it healthy?). I use this as a thermometer of sorts for my situation. But my brain, being under such ominously distorted states due to external forces, picked up this memory out of my brain-memory bank and it just came to me--a song out of the 70's I would hear from WLS out of Chicago when I lived in Champaign (got reception all those miles away on my little radio in my bedroom). I had given up at that point on classical violin and wanted to be part of the "fun" music that "everyone" was getting hip to. I now recall a movie and book (I read the book, didn't get through the movie) called Looking for Mr. Goodbar.

 "Helen Reddy--Delta Dawn Music Video". YazerPro. February 12, 2009.




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But DELTA DAWN (now realizing this title also has significant symbolism but won't go into that detail right now): the song that just popped into my brain and memory is not linked to my opinion of the male actor, the association came with all the videos on YouTube that are crazy fan stuff---obsessive/compulsive drooling for a celebrity, for example--and other ideas I won't write about in the personal domain.

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...and my 2nd association from floating but associated ties to the fan-base idolatry of celebrity brings to mind the great character of Miss Havisham from Charles Dickens' Great Expectations--again, the book brings more detail but the film versions bring the character a bit to light. Ah, what a fantastic beast Miss Havisham has created in the general but perhaps forgotten literary and film landscape. This also has personal associations with the ideas floating through my mind of this weird situation foisted upon me with being teleported to "them"--as I watch the fan stuff on YouTube, the gossip and the posturing charitable photo-op stuff of the celebrities who couldn't give a damn about the issues unless it involves some kind of profit or fame for them and their most cherished careers. But Miss Havisham and Delta Dawn are both adoring the YouTube videos (featuring every day with a fan base of millions this most famous male/one who women kneel in devotion to, some women I mean. Also men, of course).


"Great Expectations 'Miss Havisham' Mertida Hunt, 1946". Cool Guy. May 28, 2017.



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...and this song comes to mind---not because of the NAME in the title but because of the song--(I had forgotten the title of the song and the name of the woman for whom Ms. Reddy is singing) but the weird crescent moon hanging over a dying swamp is the term I might use for the technologically obsessed---I heard this song out of Chicago, over 200 miles south in Champaign and I tried to understand it with a 12-year old mind but could not grasp the sordid waste of life that Ms. Reddy was singing about---the video, though, is quite the subliminal because in the first scene of a city scene is a most clear and defined phallic symbol building--almost clearly obscene--I think media is more adept at hiding such clues at this point. But it wasn't really meant or intended to be so hidden anyway---it has a direct bearing on this theme and of the not so veiled obsession with "big city" pipe dreams and men and love and media addiction devoid of reality---(or is addiction the ultimate reality?)


"Helen Reddy--Angie Baby Cartoon". LukeDuke908. February 19, 2012.



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But as a little aside: here's to Ms. Helen Reddy and her contribution to the real feminist marches, meetings and fights that women have had to undergo all these years of protest--I AM WOMAN

hear me roar, baby! Maybe? A lady? Shady? 

"I Am Woman--Helen Reddy". Sophie Othilla Ngo. January 18, 2013.


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"Looking for Mr. Goodbar (1977) clip". Films 411. September 20, 2016.






This brings back a very different memory of me and my grandmother marching in a protest to keep abortion legal. This march was in the streets of Phoenix, Arizona around the mid-late 80's. My grandmother and I had our arms around one another while marching amongst the protesters in the middle of a long train of women marching for abortion rights to continue. Strangely this was one of the few circumstances where me and my g-ma actually embraced for more than a few seconds (she was a bit distant and very controlling--maybe a bit like a Miss Havisham but in connubial bliss with my endearing grandfather who devoted his life and everything to her, and it was mutual but I know she cheated on him and he still loved her for it. They loved one another for more than 50 years like the best of friends and devoted to their deaths). She was loving but not a doting type (my mother called her a kind of "super bitch" personality). She kind of taught me the "hard way" not to get involved with the creeple that the Nazi organization flew into my path with my brain inundated with "gravy" mind control ooze mostly all my life. She kept admonishing me to pick better men but in a whiney way which kept me on my toes--endlessly looking for Mr. Goodbar and now I've given up on looking for the elusive ultimate deadly abuser fantasy (must see but mostly must read the book Looking for Mr. Goodbar to understand my drift, can you DIG IT?).

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"5 Easy Pieces--Stand By Your Man--Tammy Wynette". HD Film Tributes. June 22, 2021.




This song, and this movie 5 Easy Pieces come to mind in this miasma of memories associated with looking up celebrity fascination on the tube circuit pumped directly into your brain and heart---themes of feminism. Oddly, the woman who played the "feminist/independent" character who Mr. Nicholson lent one of his homes to, promising her that he would never kick her out, once she reached that untenable age he did, indeed kick her out. I don't know what happened to her since I assume she got over very well--maybe I'll look it up.... But the film 5 Easy Pieces is, in part, a depiction of the fantasy good girl wifey woman who dotes on her husband and every tear waiting to drop at the slightest hat falling the cliche perfect woman-as opposed to the 70's version of the New Independent Woman who could stand on her own (maybe to buy and purchase her own house? However now that I understand the good ole Mr. Goodbar Network I know that women being blocked from obtaining financial freedom is a thing and for real, dude. At least for me becuz I'm supposedly "dangerous" and very bad and the list of hate terms for me is endless according to the people using subliminals to drain my brain of all positive reinforcement about who an what I am--thus carried-on by the teleporting terrorist mind screw operators out of H-wood, the celebrities who seem to gain money from their exploits playing the freedom loving women but support male domination oppression to an extreme degree of violence when it comes to me, as they also participate in the violence, ostensibly to prove to the male-dominated media industry controlled, I assume, by men largely and the women who support misogynist woman-hating culture.

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"Tammy Wynette--Divorce (lyrics)".  Lee Westwick. September 6, 2012.





At least d-i-v-o-r-c-e is still legal....women who want independence still have a chance to not be as enslaved but mentally they remain cloistered and supporting cheerleaders for male abusive relationships---





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Because I write so many, so often, long, rambling incoherent (hacked, redacted by hackers, rewritten to discredit me) posts, I will try to make this succinct: I am very ill from poisoning. The poison remains in my body after decades of trying to protect my body from more poisoning and the administration of what could be the compression of the poisons through rape while I am unconscious and unable to brace against impact. Johnny Depp had my cat stolen, but tortured and photographed while being drowned in response to me writing endlessly for 2 weeks at the onset of his rape and torture and thrills and sniggering raping me pounding poison into my body and then abusing torturing me afterwards so his daughter and he and amber heard and whomever else could obtain non-stop prizes, promotions without end. 13 years later his dirty, nasty daughter who has spent MOST OF HER LIFE profiting off viciously and murderously having me poisoned sits next to arnold ugly-termini88er who has spent at least a decade profiting off my ideas stolen as he partners with people poisoning and raping the poison into my body. //The list of people who have done this to me who remain steadfastly latched onto sucking my life out and being praised, promoted the sky is not even the limit as elon musk has been handed space gear, as long as he continues to drill into the mind and brain of all the targets, victims and nazi genocide pogrom people they want exterminated, mind controlled and all exonerated with no evidence as no one ever will break out of the chain-of-command all obey and get promotions merely for the act of silence, obedience and proving sniggering delight at having me tortured and viciously participating then spreading the word so the snowball effect is a contagion upon me (and the world but so far the thrill of lynch mob witch hunt mentality strips all cognition of warning to the future as has been happening with every technology brought out to get speed and action on this terra firma and now into the grooves of the mind and brain and control over other human beings rendering them sheer victims of genocidal torture all administered without any evidence as again, no one reports any of this but "everybody" participates. //At my height of sickness arnold hate-=termini88er has been consigned not merely to rally every female white "feminist" nazi every black "fighting racism" nazi minority minion latinos acting out their fantasies of enacting their movie roles onto attacking me. Every jew smirks and laughs and stares into the eyes of dirty shitalina or dirty arnold transfixed into their every look of "approval" like absolute mirrors I can see the ugliness of the energy spectrum of the puppets who otherwise are "fighting Nazis". But at the time when I am detoxing and am at the most sick possible for me, in the "window" of sickness I am at very weak and vulnerable moments. They attack me all the more viciously in a murderous way, as has been happening for years but arnold believes that he is an entitled "predator" and hacks lion videos preying on weak little animals in his social darwinistic nazi paradigm which many would say, is "the way of the world" the animal kingdom the strong survive, only. //But feeding off the vulnerable whom you force into vulnerability. The organized poisoning and physical dislocation of little items of the body like vertebrae all along the spine they have done to me--and putting hips and spine out of alignment has been done non-stop under this group for the past 20 years while I am unconscious, unable to wake up and the people surround me raping smearing fungus and semen into my hair, into my orifices on my everything else in the room horrid substances. Making my hair grey further they scream insults and then rush at me violently when I respond but can't stop torturing me almost to death to obtain these reactions for their note-taking on ideas for how to empower 'victims" in their next movie set of award-winning original themes but supplying no threat to the "animal kingdom" of Nazi overtake as ordained long before Hitler. //I write this because the technology has rendered me powerless and the reaction of society clamps the prison on me by the sheer permission structure which is supported by a terror network of death squads for anybody actually openly caring or helping me. //They are trying to kick me out of this place I spent at least 2 years fighting to understand how to block actual human beings from breaking into my room via the mechanical arms opening the multi-locked and layered barriers I created just for the front door. I had already pounded in plastic wood-like cabinets (very hard, extremely painful) into the many cabinets lining the walls and panels which are opened from the other side of the wall the concealment of these portals of terror entry are done professionally. //They first cut off my disability (after having made me disabled through these nighttime mutilations of my spine fracturing my vertebrae in multiple locations while in deep sleep. Then poisoning me with a horrific substance which has been manufactured in an extremely precise way to create various staggered time schedules so that various agents are introduced into the drug cocktail after many years of the bloating and latching forces malfunction, bloating the poisons latching onto flesh and bone and every single tear, rip and injury is a penetration portal for the poisons. This group has spent my life having me injured but especially while in deep unconscious sleep states in order to force the penetration of these poisons into every possible interior space of my being to the core. Perhaps in my marrow. In my brain absolutely since this group has undoubtedly manufactured upgrades of the microchips and used extreme laser precision to implant more advanced layers of technologies into my brain. The hard poisons form very elongated structures, hard as cement, into my body extending from bones into every injury and surgery they forced upon me to "correct" the extreme curvature of my spine, then afterwards exacerbating the curvature with hip and spinal manipulation (plus whittling my shoe soles so they were at 45-degree angles, forcing me to walk in crooked ways and that went on most of my life I though I was walking in a crooked way naturally. This studio they are kicking me out of, with my disability payments still suspended and the decision pending to reinstate the payments; my family and the billionaire whorewood group and the president former presidents, former president's wives who are endlessly fixated on obtaining every prize and deal possible out of having been in the Oval Office as leader 40 years ago but still they cling on and on. AT my most ill they continue the soft kill approach by viciously assaulting me with yelling screaming tears torture heart palpitations abuse without end death threats and arnold picking me up while I am clutching my abdomen in pain, agony after detoxing more black, stinking poison embedded into my back and intestines and synapses and tissue for decades. Hitting my abdomen and my sides while I was in agony nearly from this horrific poison finally coming out (and he profited off having me poisoned since at the very least 2013, I have no idea how long so many others have conjoined in this effort to obtain a huge prize of endless summer for them in media prizes and absolute control over h-wood if they get me to "submit" to being abused raped poisoned without any protestation and me providing these ignorant horrific hateful people with ideas because they can't be bothered to study or read or think critically they just get me to provde my lifetime of having done all that, coming from an Ivy League family one a professor the rest attorneys and artists. It's not merely arnold s-ne88er but he's the tool used by trump to really inflict the "German" style nazi terrorism which is reminiscent of the old nazi genocidal regime. Under restraint now marginally but nevertheless not at the full violent behavior they would otherwise inflict if there were not guardrails. I am a prototype and they must exploit me for more so they can't outright torture me to death but oh, they tried to have me kliled in near-death accidents on the road, multiple times and other people would have died from their violent vehicular "accidents" where the brakes and other functions were suddenly gone, like water through a sieve while cars hit me from sides and at speeds from standing still to bursting at me which obviously had sophisticated engine manipulation and not normal car acceleration capabilities.// Arnold hate-ni88er is not stopping with the slow murder and has previously made death threats for my response to his insults and abuse which are nazi-racist in nature not just demeaning but focused on racist genocidal humiliation. This programming is part of the psychological conditioning this group is trying to force into American society for the Jews to repeat the old permission structure to commit more genocide as long as a few "entitled" get to stand out and profit off the margin of death extermination. I am going into a long rant at the moment but my point is that besides the grey hair they forced on me (also had hair removed on my scalp and underarms ) but the endless slicing smearing of poisons on my hands, mutilation and then hours of abuse per day until I write a post trying to elicit any kind of compassion or support or help from this group which has restricted my posts and blog on a "need-to-know" basis. No one capable of consternation reads my posts apparently this is chock full of compliant and complicit wanna be master race entitlement getting paid and laid crowd. //However, the real irony is that they appear as being very "strong" they have huge muscles they are always heroic but when it comes to this, they exploit someone disabled, alone, drugged up, my brain rendered in various loops as they have people inflict subliminal sentences which I repeat under extreme duress/stress combined with daily drugging via all vehicles of drugging while they torture me for having repeated the subliminal hypnotic suggestion statements. Now they are hacking so badly it's impossible to type without having to repeat and backspace retype this always is a bane to anything I attempt to explain. Rendering me mute and then ranting. The subliminal suggestion is always forced in moments of stress and they ("they") manufacture stress literally almost every single moment second of my life. If I begin to laugh at anything "they" are tweaking the throat microchip implant to force stinging torture tears welling and pouring out of my eyes to stop me instantly from laughing and/or having any gaiety whatsoever.

  All of these people are constructs of heroism according to the images they are crafted to appear as in their tv shows, news podcasts and p...