Sunday, March 20, 2022

There's one of the celebrities who I occasionally do a search engine thang for just becuz it's a bit fun (is it healthy?). I use this as a thermometer of sorts for my situation. But my brain, being under such ominously distorted states due to external forces, picked up this memory out of my brain-memory bank and it just came to me--a song out of the 70's I would hear from WLS out of Chicago when I lived in Champaign (got reception all those miles away on my little radio in my bedroom). I had given up at that point on classical violin and wanted to be part of the "fun" music that "everyone" was getting hip to. I now recall a movie and book (I read the book, didn't get through the movie) called Looking for Mr. Goodbar.

 "Helen Reddy--Delta Dawn Music Video". YazerPro. February 12, 2009.




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But DELTA DAWN (now realizing this title also has significant symbolism but won't go into that detail right now): the song that just popped into my brain and memory is not linked to my opinion of the male actor, the association came with all the videos on YouTube that are crazy fan stuff---obsessive/compulsive drooling for a celebrity, for example--and other ideas I won't write about in the personal domain.

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...and my 2nd association from floating but associated ties to the fan-base idolatry of celebrity brings to mind the great character of Miss Havisham from Charles Dickens' Great Expectations--again, the book brings more detail but the film versions bring the character a bit to light. Ah, what a fantastic beast Miss Havisham has created in the general but perhaps forgotten literary and film landscape. This also has personal associations with the ideas floating through my mind of this weird situation foisted upon me with being teleported to "them"--as I watch the fan stuff on YouTube, the gossip and the posturing charitable photo-op stuff of the celebrities who couldn't give a damn about the issues unless it involves some kind of profit or fame for them and their most cherished careers. But Miss Havisham and Delta Dawn are both adoring the YouTube videos (featuring every day with a fan base of millions this most famous male/one who women kneel in devotion to, some women I mean. Also men, of course).


"Great Expectations 'Miss Havisham' Mertida Hunt, 1946". Cool Guy. May 28, 2017.



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...and this song comes to mind---not because of the NAME in the title but because of the song--(I had forgotten the title of the song and the name of the woman for whom Ms. Reddy is singing) but the weird crescent moon hanging over a dying swamp is the term I might use for the technologically obsessed---I heard this song out of Chicago, over 200 miles south in Champaign and I tried to understand it with a 12-year old mind but could not grasp the sordid waste of life that Ms. Reddy was singing about---the video, though, is quite the subliminal because in the first scene of a city scene is a most clear and defined phallic symbol building--almost clearly obscene--I think media is more adept at hiding such clues at this point. But it wasn't really meant or intended to be so hidden anyway---it has a direct bearing on this theme and of the not so veiled obsession with "big city" pipe dreams and men and love and media addiction devoid of reality---(or is addiction the ultimate reality?)


"Helen Reddy--Angie Baby Cartoon". LukeDuke908. February 19, 2012.



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But as a little aside: here's to Ms. Helen Reddy and her contribution to the real feminist marches, meetings and fights that women have had to undergo all these years of protest--I AM WOMAN

hear me roar, baby! Maybe? A lady? Shady? 

"I Am Woman--Helen Reddy". Sophie Othilla Ngo. January 18, 2013.


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"Looking for Mr. Goodbar (1977) clip". Films 411. September 20, 2016.






This brings back a very different memory of me and my grandmother marching in a protest to keep abortion legal. This march was in the streets of Phoenix, Arizona around the mid-late 80's. My grandmother and I had our arms around one another while marching amongst the protesters in the middle of a long train of women marching for abortion rights to continue. Strangely this was one of the few circumstances where me and my g-ma actually embraced for more than a few seconds (she was a bit distant and very controlling--maybe a bit like a Miss Havisham but in connubial bliss with my endearing grandfather who devoted his life and everything to her, and it was mutual but I know she cheated on him and he still loved her for it. They loved one another for more than 50 years like the best of friends and devoted to their deaths). She was loving but not a doting type (my mother called her a kind of "super bitch" personality). She kind of taught me the "hard way" not to get involved with the creeple that the Nazi organization flew into my path with my brain inundated with "gravy" mind control ooze mostly all my life. She kept admonishing me to pick better men but in a whiney way which kept me on my toes--endlessly looking for Mr. Goodbar and now I've given up on looking for the elusive ultimate deadly abuser fantasy (must see but mostly must read the book Looking for Mr. Goodbar to understand my drift, can you DIG IT?).

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"5 Easy Pieces--Stand By Your Man--Tammy Wynette". HD Film Tributes. June 22, 2021.




This song, and this movie 5 Easy Pieces come to mind in this miasma of memories associated with looking up celebrity fascination on the tube circuit pumped directly into your brain and heart---themes of feminism. Oddly, the woman who played the "feminist/independent" character who Mr. Nicholson lent one of his homes to, promising her that he would never kick her out, once she reached that untenable age he did, indeed kick her out. I don't know what happened to her since I assume she got over very well--maybe I'll look it up.... But the film 5 Easy Pieces is, in part, a depiction of the fantasy good girl wifey woman who dotes on her husband and every tear waiting to drop at the slightest hat falling the cliche perfect woman-as opposed to the 70's version of the New Independent Woman who could stand on her own (maybe to buy and purchase her own house? However now that I understand the good ole Mr. Goodbar Network I know that women being blocked from obtaining financial freedom is a thing and for real, dude. At least for me becuz I'm supposedly "dangerous" and very bad and the list of hate terms for me is endless according to the people using subliminals to drain my brain of all positive reinforcement about who an what I am--thus carried-on by the teleporting terrorist mind screw operators out of H-wood, the celebrities who seem to gain money from their exploits playing the freedom loving women but support male domination oppression to an extreme degree of violence when it comes to me, as they also participate in the violence, ostensibly to prove to the male-dominated media industry controlled, I assume, by men largely and the women who support misogynist woman-hating culture.

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"Tammy Wynette--Divorce (lyrics)".  Lee Westwick. September 6, 2012.





At least d-i-v-o-r-c-e is still legal....women who want independence still have a chance to not be as enslaved but mentally they remain cloistered and supporting cheerleaders for male abusive relationships---





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Yet one more white piece of clothing flicked with black permanently-staining ink while I hung it outside to air because of the stinking fungus stench they spray on my clothing which hangs on a clothing rod outside of the enclosed cupboards for hanging clothing, which are sealed but the clothing sprayed with stench so awful that nothing gets it out and I must hang clothing up in my room and have it on my furnitue in order to have anything to necessary-clean after wearing, and then once more after having cleaned I must clean again to get the stench they spray on all clothing while I am in this room or outside of it; doesn't matter the mechanical arms are used continuously. The dress,, white off-white actually had no stains was "used" but new---a large stain sprayed within the last hour after hanging it on a rack outside---bleach, baking soda scrubbing and scrubbing the stain doesn't even diminish. It's black and then they also put a white blot on the fabric so it's just disgusting and looks like a rag. Nothing will get the stains out must throw away or put in the huge overflowing pile of clothing that has been ruined for years which I use to clean the stench they spray on the furniture, floor and walls . then all morning from 6 a.m. until 1 p.m so sick from shitting out/detoxing black and brown stinking hard poisons slowly breaking off into little pieces, enlarging around 60 times the compressed size to emit horrific poisons into my endocrine system, liver, kidneys and blood stream. Both hardening poison chemicals and mind control drugs all congealed, compressed into my body for probably 30 years or longer. Two hours of the Latino sick filth violent gang land crap who under instruction from your hero trash shitalina and ugly arnold with whatever dirty scum were in the rows of chairs facing me to yell abuse give subliminal instruction to the brown and black nazi minions to inflict disgusting violence under their orders but they appear calm, composed and silently smirking in delight watching as the dumb dirty filth black and brown death squad operatives out of caliwhornia do the bidding of their dirty europigape scum nazi partners. Dirty shitalina has completely sold off america to english overtake and only identifies as a death squad nazi operative. The germans raping me are her favorite they shower her this filth t rash stupid ape rat parasite with so much money and adoration because she is welcoming them into destroy america from within. Raping me makes her "elevated" as she uses my ideas without end. Stupid ugly arnold abuses me almost to death to obtain ideas and now i's samuel jackson participating as well. Two more hours this morning. I was so ill from shitting out the stinking poison they put in for years and years (the bulk of them, shitalina her entire shit parasite life through her filthy parents who partnered with mine in the mid-1970's--my family of course getting almost noting out of the deal this group of stupid ape shit trash getting multi-millions and endless glorification for it). It's unbelievable to me that this is 17 years of me writing about famous shit put into power and their political correlatives inflicting demonic sick torture rape and mutilation uon me so they can steal ideas without a flinch response whatsoever from anybody. It takes trump having proven that this system is destroying people like me for congress to continue their path of allowing this to go on and on--obviously that is their goal for many more people besides me. Still, the stupid ape shit like the latino ugly sick crap and rancid rotten jackson with the trio of german ape filth rat whoredom, who in the 1980's played in these films by fassbinder and now 46 years later in desperation and utter violence have not done anyting but perhaps one sang in some parisian nightclubs her rancid performances, a bit entertaining nothing as great as many american artists of yore but the nazification of germany has reduced them to just ennui nothingness in my opinion they have no :"supreior" media scene in my opinion but I don't watch many of the festival movies coming out of there but what I do see (free on free streaming) is trite and endless fixated on nazis and violent power-over themes and death and murder and stupid comedies. The same shit being propounded into the criminally-programmed americans who conflate the political landscape with a blockbuster criminal get out of jail and commit more crime so they can all profit off it movie plot---the more criminal the leaders are, the more slsezy the more they resemble the filth and crap out of whorewood scum nazi movies and that programming and the actual stupid sick scum coming out of that cesspool of stupidity and ugly sick criminal violent sexual debauchery and stinking psychological filth--any intellectual endeavors prove to be pointless compared to what they actually do for their lead roles. However I am ranting by now. Hacking to the keyboard so I can barely type. another day of my olife sucked out so some shit group of fucks can feed hormonally off it and get lead roles while my next white light coloried piece of clothing which was pristine one hour ago was ruined. I had earlier been able to clean the stains off so they increased the staining properties of what they are flicking onto my clothing so it is ruined. they cut a slice into my shoulder while I slept last night. Of course I felt nothing my brain rendered blank in a comatose brain microchip implant unconscious state without sensation of being harmed. ///This was a "light" day probably the lightest in terms of abuse for maybe over 2 years.

  And all those desperate and ugly sleazy has-beens, the german shit rat group and ugly sick rancid arnold ugly shitnigger and rotten jackso...