Sunday, March 20, 2022

There's one of the celebrities who I occasionally do a search engine thang for just becuz it's a bit fun (is it healthy?). I use this as a thermometer of sorts for my situation. But my brain, being under such ominously distorted states due to external forces, picked up this memory out of my brain-memory bank and it just came to me--a song out of the 70's I would hear from WLS out of Chicago when I lived in Champaign (got reception all those miles away on my little radio in my bedroom). I had given up at that point on classical violin and wanted to be part of the "fun" music that "everyone" was getting hip to. I now recall a movie and book (I read the book, didn't get through the movie) called Looking for Mr. Goodbar.

 "Helen Reddy--Delta Dawn Music Video". YazerPro. February 12, 2009.




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But DELTA DAWN (now realizing this title also has significant symbolism but won't go into that detail right now): the song that just popped into my brain and memory is not linked to my opinion of the male actor, the association came with all the videos on YouTube that are crazy fan stuff---obsessive/compulsive drooling for a celebrity, for example--and other ideas I won't write about in the personal domain.

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...and my 2nd association from floating but associated ties to the fan-base idolatry of celebrity brings to mind the great character of Miss Havisham from Charles Dickens' Great Expectations--again, the book brings more detail but the film versions bring the character a bit to light. Ah, what a fantastic beast Miss Havisham has created in the general but perhaps forgotten literary and film landscape. This also has personal associations with the ideas floating through my mind of this weird situation foisted upon me with being teleported to "them"--as I watch the fan stuff on YouTube, the gossip and the posturing charitable photo-op stuff of the celebrities who couldn't give a damn about the issues unless it involves some kind of profit or fame for them and their most cherished careers. But Miss Havisham and Delta Dawn are both adoring the YouTube videos (featuring every day with a fan base of millions this most famous male/one who women kneel in devotion to, some women I mean. Also men, of course).


"Great Expectations 'Miss Havisham' Mertida Hunt, 1946". Cool Guy. May 28, 2017.



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...and this song comes to mind---not because of the NAME in the title but because of the song--(I had forgotten the title of the song and the name of the woman for whom Ms. Reddy is singing) but the weird crescent moon hanging over a dying swamp is the term I might use for the technologically obsessed---I heard this song out of Chicago, over 200 miles south in Champaign and I tried to understand it with a 12-year old mind but could not grasp the sordid waste of life that Ms. Reddy was singing about---the video, though, is quite the subliminal because in the first scene of a city scene is a most clear and defined phallic symbol building--almost clearly obscene--I think media is more adept at hiding such clues at this point. But it wasn't really meant or intended to be so hidden anyway---it has a direct bearing on this theme and of the not so veiled obsession with "big city" pipe dreams and men and love and media addiction devoid of reality---(or is addiction the ultimate reality?)


"Helen Reddy--Angie Baby Cartoon". LukeDuke908. February 19, 2012.



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But as a little aside: here's to Ms. Helen Reddy and her contribution to the real feminist marches, meetings and fights that women have had to undergo all these years of protest--I AM WOMAN

hear me roar, baby! Maybe? A lady? Shady? 

"I Am Woman--Helen Reddy". Sophie Othilla Ngo. January 18, 2013.


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"Looking for Mr. Goodbar (1977) clip". Films 411. September 20, 2016.






This brings back a very different memory of me and my grandmother marching in a protest to keep abortion legal. This march was in the streets of Phoenix, Arizona around the mid-late 80's. My grandmother and I had our arms around one another while marching amongst the protesters in the middle of a long train of women marching for abortion rights to continue. Strangely this was one of the few circumstances where me and my g-ma actually embraced for more than a few seconds (she was a bit distant and very controlling--maybe a bit like a Miss Havisham but in connubial bliss with my endearing grandfather who devoted his life and everything to her, and it was mutual but I know she cheated on him and he still loved her for it. They loved one another for more than 50 years like the best of friends and devoted to their deaths). She was loving but not a doting type (my mother called her a kind of "super bitch" personality). She kind of taught me the "hard way" not to get involved with the creeple that the Nazi organization flew into my path with my brain inundated with "gravy" mind control ooze mostly all my life. She kept admonishing me to pick better men but in a whiney way which kept me on my toes--endlessly looking for Mr. Goodbar and now I've given up on looking for the elusive ultimate deadly abuser fantasy (must see but mostly must read the book Looking for Mr. Goodbar to understand my drift, can you DIG IT?).

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"5 Easy Pieces--Stand By Your Man--Tammy Wynette". HD Film Tributes. June 22, 2021.




This song, and this movie 5 Easy Pieces come to mind in this miasma of memories associated with looking up celebrity fascination on the tube circuit pumped directly into your brain and heart---themes of feminism. Oddly, the woman who played the "feminist/independent" character who Mr. Nicholson lent one of his homes to, promising her that he would never kick her out, once she reached that untenable age he did, indeed kick her out. I don't know what happened to her since I assume she got over very well--maybe I'll look it up.... But the film 5 Easy Pieces is, in part, a depiction of the fantasy good girl wifey woman who dotes on her husband and every tear waiting to drop at the slightest hat falling the cliche perfect woman-as opposed to the 70's version of the New Independent Woman who could stand on her own (maybe to buy and purchase her own house? However now that I understand the good ole Mr. Goodbar Network I know that women being blocked from obtaining financial freedom is a thing and for real, dude. At least for me becuz I'm supposedly "dangerous" and very bad and the list of hate terms for me is endless according to the people using subliminals to drain my brain of all positive reinforcement about who an what I am--thus carried-on by the teleporting terrorist mind screw operators out of H-wood, the celebrities who seem to gain money from their exploits playing the freedom loving women but support male domination oppression to an extreme degree of violence when it comes to me, as they also participate in the violence, ostensibly to prove to the male-dominated media industry controlled, I assume, by men largely and the women who support misogynist woman-hating culture.

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"Tammy Wynette--Divorce (lyrics)".  Lee Westwick. September 6, 2012.





At least d-i-v-o-r-c-e is still legal....women who want independence still have a chance to not be as enslaved but mentally they remain cloistered and supporting cheerleaders for male abusive relationships---





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All physical mail blocked from my mailbox---no letters for weeks and weeks, months and months but for years--decades literally no personal emails except from people trying to use, abuse and exploit me in this contract. Millionaires and billionaires rushing to have my subpoverty SSI disablity cut off because they can't create movies, new ideas or fashion a movie cartel without this contract using me as some mind programming example of someone who hates these actors, their movies never liked 99% of them, the bs image they presented or their crap movies literally never even watched tv for most of the 70's and 80's and 90's only when I was so drugged and paralyzed did I watch anything related to the crap they crank out--so drugged I can't concentrate looking endlessly for anybody who resembles the bullshit narratives of concern about "women" (only blondes or some black women mostly all focusing on nazi women white with their plantation supporters attacking me) and then the bs about society, fighting the ultra wealthy while they rush to join into the wealth "elite" nazi cartel of abusing people to death as entertainment stress relief for white mediocrity and destruction of equality and chances to compete---thusly they glare at me with murderous hate for depriving them of the empire they don't deserve can't obtain if there were actual real competition were all failing in their careers or had no careers are has-beens for the most part--etc etc rushing to violently abuse me now starring directing producing without end. As some have noted, i.e. the Englishman running for Rep. Gov of CA--Whorewood has "failed" the crap they crank out now that they got rid of the Jews "too many jews in hollywood" they used to say they still blame jews for all the problems in every field---but it has been publicly noted that the movies are crap people are turning away the h-wood allure is dried up due to this mediocrity crap having taken over---through non-talent power-grabbing nazi mind control and death squad "gang stalking" "fun and games" for the pig ape worthless group attacking me with deadly hate the nazi ni88er terminigger creating most of the violence I have just described and for years encouraging, with great success, extreme violence aimed at me by shitalina-ni88er and pitt-ape-ni88er and all the arnold nazi ni88er wanna be nazi grab em by the p- scumbags rump being just another one---unrecognized because he said it openly they all are much more concealed. thusly this covert tech that all the msnow anchors and cnn anchors who joined in over a decade ago and still remain (those who did not participate as much are cut off and gone)---still won't report an iota of the real situation which has created the rise of the death nazi squad machine--thusly I remain their sole target because otherwise they are death dino hate bigots without soul creativity or love although they "love" their partners because this hate terror torture tech gives them ample opportunity to such love, life and dump their death and hate out on people and it's all a giggly laughing party for the non-exceptional" elite so I remain tortured abused they are all completely convinced that I am this horrid b-word deserving it all for having fought for over 15 years on a non-stop nightly and daily basis rather than what they get from the majority of the dumb apathetic scum of the world: total approval without question for the mediocrity shit they are and crank out.//The promise of instant money (the rump corruption machine has handed many a demo-rat insider trading and crypto opportunities which they can so easily hide once they join in with this group all the mafia money-laundering capabilities and the media and political suppression of any and all transparency and they are now open fascist murdering rapist bigots towards me unapologetic after 15 years of more and more being promoted. Thusly I remain without any solace comfort support and all law, constitutional protections are mute and dead and gone it has trickled now into society but no one will name the real onus of the problem which absolutely stemmed from this contract out on me--but it did not originate the problem only was a revelation that all will support it will keep silent will protect and join in laughing as the hyenas that they are, glorified by a stupid sick society gone to hell long ago very much programmed by the hell of the death murder nazi regime like shit-nig88er trash and his ilk out of whorewood (put debt crisis reagan into power and then rump who is almost singlehandedly as leader destroying the economy in permanent ways creating the end of israel the antisemitism resulting in the further rise of nazism and more and more death and destruction to the cheers of the muck investment nazi strategies (make americans pay for the rise of the nazi machine---through their 401K retirement portfolios in enforced stock purchases of the nazi IPO muck foundation empire paid for by the suckers and losers of America--all still cheering this pile of rancid crap on and on as if they are heroes because they learned to give lectures presented as heroes you can see replicated in movies--just watch the latest bs newsom speech with his wife fully nazi-plastic surgery altered as all the shit filth of whorewood also have been (square jaw implants for both old boy gavin and his nazi sex trafficking "femnist" nazi wife)--. Requests to social security, over 20 requests since March, 2025 on why they cut my benefits off resulting in zero response, being yelled at, hung up on and lied to with hate and open discrimination. My mail service openly lying and discriminating against me openly defying their stated policy and openly denying me service and openly lying in a most open discriminatory way.//Items stolen from my room the last time I left to go shopping. items I always leave in the same exact place (for years some items on my patio) gone--just disappeared checked dug through the contents nothing--just stolen. Items in my fridge I had partially eaten were contaminated with fungus and mold (this item lasts for weeks when not tainted--is now riddled with fungus after having opened it and stored it normally. when not leaving my room which is most of the time, the food source is edible fresh and lasts weeks wrapped and stored in exactly the same place---all done while I was gone plus daily spraying of foul stench sprays on clothing, bed linens and behind furniture on furniture, etc. Stinking filth and debris poured on the floor so the entire dustpan filled to the brim with debris soot black nasty something indiscernable but always it is done whether I leave or not the mechanical arms to do this to make my living space stinking and filthy. In deep healing sleep every day a greedy exploiter--famous for their benevolent exploits in film and politics--abuses me while I NEED HEALING SLEEP from the murder poisons they administered through their minority minion and white nazi trash network death squads aka "gang stalking" (such an innocuous term for such a deadly murder operation).//More and more--not able to heal they are endlessly abusing me hours and hours every day day after day night after night all day all night using this tech like sleazy sick filthy sub-apes exploiting tech to dump their hate and filth on someone else--using any lie to justiify and then never stopping they are addicted. This is the zeitgeist this is the emotional and mental/intellectual level that is administering the current malaise afflicting america but blaming "the other side". Dumping as much as they can on me then asking me for ideas about how sick they are so they can play victim fighting evil (my ideas about them, turned into their heroic exploits in programming for 'hope change and joy" or "christian" values (which I have a billion times more than the maga hate-rape murder nazi haters (includes demo-rats galore).