Sunday, March 20, 2022

There's one of the celebrities who I occasionally do a search engine thang for just becuz it's a bit fun (is it healthy?). I use this as a thermometer of sorts for my situation. But my brain, being under such ominously distorted states due to external forces, picked up this memory out of my brain-memory bank and it just came to me--a song out of the 70's I would hear from WLS out of Chicago when I lived in Champaign (got reception all those miles away on my little radio in my bedroom). I had given up at that point on classical violin and wanted to be part of the "fun" music that "everyone" was getting hip to. I now recall a movie and book (I read the book, didn't get through the movie) called Looking for Mr. Goodbar.

 "Helen Reddy--Delta Dawn Music Video". YazerPro. February 12, 2009.




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But DELTA DAWN (now realizing this title also has significant symbolism but won't go into that detail right now): the song that just popped into my brain and memory is not linked to my opinion of the male actor, the association came with all the videos on YouTube that are crazy fan stuff---obsessive/compulsive drooling for a celebrity, for example--and other ideas I won't write about in the personal domain.

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...and my 2nd association from floating but associated ties to the fan-base idolatry of celebrity brings to mind the great character of Miss Havisham from Charles Dickens' Great Expectations--again, the book brings more detail but the film versions bring the character a bit to light. Ah, what a fantastic beast Miss Havisham has created in the general but perhaps forgotten literary and film landscape. This also has personal associations with the ideas floating through my mind of this weird situation foisted upon me with being teleported to "them"--as I watch the fan stuff on YouTube, the gossip and the posturing charitable photo-op stuff of the celebrities who couldn't give a damn about the issues unless it involves some kind of profit or fame for them and their most cherished careers. But Miss Havisham and Delta Dawn are both adoring the YouTube videos (featuring every day with a fan base of millions this most famous male/one who women kneel in devotion to, some women I mean. Also men, of course).


"Great Expectations 'Miss Havisham' Mertida Hunt, 1946". Cool Guy. May 28, 2017.



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...and this song comes to mind---not because of the NAME in the title but because of the song--(I had forgotten the title of the song and the name of the woman for whom Ms. Reddy is singing) but the weird crescent moon hanging over a dying swamp is the term I might use for the technologically obsessed---I heard this song out of Chicago, over 200 miles south in Champaign and I tried to understand it with a 12-year old mind but could not grasp the sordid waste of life that Ms. Reddy was singing about---the video, though, is quite the subliminal because in the first scene of a city scene is a most clear and defined phallic symbol building--almost clearly obscene--I think media is more adept at hiding such clues at this point. But it wasn't really meant or intended to be so hidden anyway---it has a direct bearing on this theme and of the not so veiled obsession with "big city" pipe dreams and men and love and media addiction devoid of reality---(or is addiction the ultimate reality?)


"Helen Reddy--Angie Baby Cartoon". LukeDuke908. February 19, 2012.



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But as a little aside: here's to Ms. Helen Reddy and her contribution to the real feminist marches, meetings and fights that women have had to undergo all these years of protest--I AM WOMAN

hear me roar, baby! Maybe? A lady? Shady? 

"I Am Woman--Helen Reddy". Sophie Othilla Ngo. January 18, 2013.


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"Looking for Mr. Goodbar (1977) clip". Films 411. September 20, 2016.






This brings back a very different memory of me and my grandmother marching in a protest to keep abortion legal. This march was in the streets of Phoenix, Arizona around the mid-late 80's. My grandmother and I had our arms around one another while marching amongst the protesters in the middle of a long train of women marching for abortion rights to continue. Strangely this was one of the few circumstances where me and my g-ma actually embraced for more than a few seconds (she was a bit distant and very controlling--maybe a bit like a Miss Havisham but in connubial bliss with my endearing grandfather who devoted his life and everything to her, and it was mutual but I know she cheated on him and he still loved her for it. They loved one another for more than 50 years like the best of friends and devoted to their deaths). She was loving but not a doting type (my mother called her a kind of "super bitch" personality). She kind of taught me the "hard way" not to get involved with the creeple that the Nazi organization flew into my path with my brain inundated with "gravy" mind control ooze mostly all my life. She kept admonishing me to pick better men but in a whiney way which kept me on my toes--endlessly looking for Mr. Goodbar and now I've given up on looking for the elusive ultimate deadly abuser fantasy (must see but mostly must read the book Looking for Mr. Goodbar to understand my drift, can you DIG IT?).

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"5 Easy Pieces--Stand By Your Man--Tammy Wynette". HD Film Tributes. June 22, 2021.




This song, and this movie 5 Easy Pieces come to mind in this miasma of memories associated with looking up celebrity fascination on the tube circuit pumped directly into your brain and heart---themes of feminism. Oddly, the woman who played the "feminist/independent" character who Mr. Nicholson lent one of his homes to, promising her that he would never kick her out, once she reached that untenable age he did, indeed kick her out. I don't know what happened to her since I assume she got over very well--maybe I'll look it up.... But the film 5 Easy Pieces is, in part, a depiction of the fantasy good girl wifey woman who dotes on her husband and every tear waiting to drop at the slightest hat falling the cliche perfect woman-as opposed to the 70's version of the New Independent Woman who could stand on her own (maybe to buy and purchase her own house? However now that I understand the good ole Mr. Goodbar Network I know that women being blocked from obtaining financial freedom is a thing and for real, dude. At least for me becuz I'm supposedly "dangerous" and very bad and the list of hate terms for me is endless according to the people using subliminals to drain my brain of all positive reinforcement about who an what I am--thus carried-on by the teleporting terrorist mind screw operators out of H-wood, the celebrities who seem to gain money from their exploits playing the freedom loving women but support male domination oppression to an extreme degree of violence when it comes to me, as they also participate in the violence, ostensibly to prove to the male-dominated media industry controlled, I assume, by men largely and the women who support misogynist woman-hating culture.

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"Tammy Wynette--Divorce (lyrics)".  Lee Westwick. September 6, 2012.





At least d-i-v-o-r-c-e is still legal....women who want independence still have a chance to not be as enslaved but mentally they remain cloistered and supporting cheerleaders for male abusive relationships---





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Another day of sleazy, sick dirty foul arnold hate-ni88er your robotic former governor of california working for both his and newsom's endless praise and promotions into the new nazi world order h-wood regime convergence of one-world order consolidation. Every day that ugly sleazy filth "listens" to my inner thoughts to yell abuse and insults at what I am thinking with threats not to "think" what they are pumping into my subconscious, hacking into my laptop to tweak a thought reaction or vulnerability therein so they can insert their programming just so they can rationalize yelling abuse which culminates in death threats and more torture--tears torture out of my eyes completely destroyed cheek and facial tissue damage from 20 years of tears pouring out of my eyes daily for hours per day--years and years. When ugly shittrash-nigger arnold came with non-stop blacks and now violent murderous cartel Mexican ?--thug gang-bangers who starred as drug cartel murderous "strong" attacking the "white man" who they grovel to as slum dog millionaire--aspirants groveling dumb moose-like thug pawns being uncle tom replacements for the plethora of blacks surrounding the german and austrian sleazy dirty thugs who just flick their little snot fingers and the black americans--all yelling with bombastic "strength" about the injustice they bear as representatives of racial prejudice and discrimination. They are the foremost attackers upon me in physical violence terms almost as much as ugly dirty shitnigger arnold who is never, ever identified by ICE as any immigrant threat. Those brown-skinned with naturalization papers are still targeted even when the ICE agents are aware of their status but no questions aimed at the real vermin poisoning the blood of america ugly arnold. My body has further deteriorated from the years of his violence and instruction to the "me two" skank shit of shitalina non-jolie scum ape trash parasite with ape pitt pig who starred in movies "fighting Nazis" all literally just awaiting instruction on how to behave like murderous, genocidal fascist nazi thugs as partners with ugly sick shitnigger arnold on how to create this merger which they have not just "violently" but not merely "murderously" but--oh the words I should look up in a thesaurus as most Americans shun such verbal description while they are fully implementing the rise of such behavior and overtake by this rancid filth arnold filthtrash-nigger such a filthy and nasty dirty creep. Never questioned due to his nazi background thusly glorified as being some incredible muscular disgusting hulk of social engineering and the dread Kennedy family post the actual glorious intellectual and upstanding John and perhaps his brother Robert in the shadows but following the leader. Putting fascists into power and they are still pushing him to help them remain in luxury lifestyle abundance america can go to hell and let nazis overtake--that is what the broken down kennedy family now is and the battle over that building is actually of more symbolic import than people realize. A Crumbling edifice of past-long--ago Camelot now turned into camel-lot parking for nazi orgy blank and meaningless movie fodder. A bemusement park in Californication of outdated celebrities revamped into celestial appearance one of which is dolly the sheeple part ton of bs which is never questioned likewise nor are any of the vampire lying nazi bigots polished with knobs of rotund amplification of Congressional dark money funding so america appears like a shining beacon. Headed by not Atlas Shrugged in the form of deformed body apperature arnold shitnigger trashy nazi filth infestation no--glorified as another polished deception to urge americans to allow more of the vermin to poison the blood so they can more easily suck more out while appearing as white nights in shining armored security fascist gestapo guards coming to ensure anyone venturing into your secluded gated white nazi community gets killed surreptitiously covertly via their death squad gestapo teams handed poisons, drugs and brain implants with gangs coming to rape and torture upon order. All handed down in instruction from the California Governor's rape association of white nazi overtake. They want to actually create little "tech" fiefdom's so said the "Mexican immigrant" white boy in appearance (hair shorn to disguise his dark hair) gil duran (*author of "Nerd Reich" fame, bolstered by NY times reading lists, etc but surely instructed on what to detail as his "investigative journalist" title is for the San Francisco Guardian where he has operated in the past). On personal terms with ole gavin and that means even older ole arnold hate-nazi nigger trash he's really despicable and his nazi brown-skinned thug goons yelling death threats grabbing my breasts were instructed to do this under ugly not jolie shitalina's endless years of having groups of people scream insults about my "breasts" as I am shitting the poison out never-ending detox for years and years until I am at the breaking point due to the trump-era 16 hours of torrture and abuse per day while the poisons, still never out after 20 years or more of fighting to stop the drugging and poisoning--and still very ill still the poison remains and they abuse me without fail every morning when the drugging is fresh in my blood stream after having been injected or pumped with it in sleep state--Or my morning beverages are poisoned this group has access to all manufacturing and pirating of products so all is poisoned in wrapped, prepared state puon the shelf even but I must store some food products in my home which I do need to get energy to deal with endless life-threatening abuse and violence imposed upon me hours an dhours without end. A morning without me struggling with all my strength and might to not react to the brain-implant thought process of lightening-speed instant reaction in my "brain" my mind reacting to insults and as quickly as they yell pre-planned insults because they perpetually hack their photos and the thought control videos--which I may not "click" on but I see them. The instant "reaction" of thoughts which may have been implanted becomes the next hour of death threats for having "thought" this instant reaction which I cannot control). It turns into hours of back-and forth yelling. This is not isolated to dirty ugly stupid sick shitnigger arnold--who is persistently without end daily hours of abuse to render my thoughts as my brain is put in survival stress mode they extract more ideas for that ugly slime sick fuck to steal as his own--or to profit off. Since they all rely on scripts and then repeat thought processes for their careers and lives, and I have avoided them, people like them and have formerly had "artistic' friends with which to talk about artistic matters or politics or anything else, always looking for an original thought and eschewing the standard programming because long ago I realized there was a lot of conformity to whittling down thought into palatable easy-listening music like elevator scripts which abound. Or that has been my experience I am ALWAYS surrounded by the terrorists of this group and like a surrealistic dream of living in a caged mental trap entrapment, I hear only ugly sick things form them to just render me in a state of negating their society but forced to be "around them" and their u gly stupid immature sick insulting abuse statements for every thought and action I do. All day and night, and they create the flaws for which they latch onto abusing me (subliminal sentences implanted via voice-to-skull technology as I am drugged without a single person to talk to and for decades literally I have been forced into this state due to their poisoning). The focus is always on my external physical appearance which is covered with scars, blemishes deformity which increases as this non-stop daily barrage of hate is dumped on me by the huge deformed mutated ugly sick filth of this dirty crap arnold shitnigger who has a LOT of hate and ugliness he needs to dump on me or anybody he can. It is the same with them all, they dump and dump ferociously all their insecurities and hate upon me. The women are always fixated on their physical appearance so they make sure to deform and have me mutilated p lus they are "feminists" so they must have me sexually asasulted as well to try to demoralize demean make me grey broken down. My body has withered from not being able to "just ignore them" as the goody people tell me through their version of "help' (after teleporting me to slamming objects violently on the ground in front of me as symbol of their rage that I am not helping them all to obtain some huge h-wood complex of media corporate empiric whatever--no one tells me the end goal. From the black energy of their attacks on me this Paramount/Warner Brothers' merger appears to be the frenetic frantic tipping point of their usual hateful rape and murder personalities into a frenzy of violence at me fso ugly arnold can produce some original ideas (derived out of murdering me as his goal is and his threats he promises to fulfill are--the goal also is to abuse and threaten me so violently that any "resistance" is met by near death. The latino men are very good at this and they are even more violent than the "Italian-American" mafia out of Brooklyn (maybe they are holding back a bit since I am from Brooklyn but I doubt that is the reason--or I mean my family was from Brooklyn I was born in Glen Cove and lived in Forest Hills one year and then Purchase for another year but somehow I feel a sort of identification on a very slim margin of parallel but the latinos out of mexico or whereever there is no common ground except we are all on earth in this spot all with an agenda. Theirs to perform acts of gangland violence and brutal psychological and sexual violence not at the extreme they may have rendered upon others in the past--there is a death and very morbid energy from one of them. Waves of "dark spirits" surround his attack upon me it is reflected even in my immediate environment). They are the uncle toms which arnold uses as his proxy and his racism which they are controlled by is vented out on me. //So I see my body just mutilated, old aged completely growing old from this daily ugly hate dumped on me by these people who all have insecurities and this tech enables them to unleash it out onto me. It is such a welcomed and cherished technology the politicians likewise have a lot of bs to dump on anybody possible and they all want elimination of any competition to their control and money. Any mention to them of the principles for which America was a truly great country in concept, the "shining beacon" upon which the tired and impoverished rushed and then the gold diggers came and once all was wealthy and originality the nazis who had originally intended to crush america under hitler's plan (really Stalin's plan or maybe more Lenin's plan and perhaps before him Marx's plan and before him and Engels --mostly the german not the jew---on and on this plan to create this global systematic conformity and mass elimination of most of the population so little huge plantation could spring up in california with gavin and his crew and arnold and his plantation system and all the celebrities with their masses of brown, black and jewish constructs all "fighting against racism" the most stupid and dumb racist promoters --my family included or those people I was forced to be around and endure for about 15 years of my life then rushing to get out--they were almost the first brought in to torture me to try to re-establish this parasitic feeding function of the AIPAC---yes my family is connected to the nazi jewish leagues out of nyc who like the rothschild's hand over sacrifices --as in millions or more---for promotion into nazi culture --resulting in nazi paris hilton's family bigots with her own black chuck d out of public enemy the first to violently glare in threats against me for being happy her goddamn mansion was burned down in a moment of divine justice against the rancid filth she represents--a most ugly vile bigot antisemite her sister married to the gold mine of the rotschilds and as representative paris h-ton of bs comes with the black "fighting racism" yelling boldly but when I was explaining and saying "I only meant that after 13 years of her fully participating in having my home(s) destroyed my body raped my body poisoned and drugged into deformity so as usual the blonde nazi women can feel lighter, free and happy that only "they' get to be "beautiful" and congress and society must upkeep the old standards imposed on all societies around the planet--for centuries at least---and so, he almost physically assaulted me they cut my disaility money off that week and it's still off--that was back in november 2025 but the actual real cut-off lasting to this very day happened in March, 2025. Under the instruction of them all (just mentioning some of the American and nazi influences the american paris hil-ton of shit with her black "activist" "strong" yelling bullshit chuck d of public enemy--the guy with the not dope but dopey voice and his huge clock on a chain partnering with a blonde white woman in italy for a "reality tv show" where he literally falls down to run after her while she makes a nazi pose sniffing the air as italians laugh at the black "boy" running after the white "girl" in devotion--that is the h-wood influence upon these "bold singing" yapping do-nothing but "active in their community" so all he could say with hate and violence is that "good people are losing their homes" i kept sa ying I was referencing this one aspect of that filthy skank whore pjrostituted real porno scum not his "poor blacks" of los angeles who are undoubtedly very wealthy living in the hills and mansions, and like himself living off the royalties of "fight the power" which he is only fighting me--the "powerless" victim of racism but "jewish" as they define me forcing yet more cliched stereotypes on me

Once more, I could not "ignore' although I literally was trying with every ounce nuance and bit of my strength to not react. The dr...