Sunday, March 20, 2022

There's one of the celebrities who I occasionally do a search engine thang for just becuz it's a bit fun (is it healthy?). I use this as a thermometer of sorts for my situation. But my brain, being under such ominously distorted states due to external forces, picked up this memory out of my brain-memory bank and it just came to me--a song out of the 70's I would hear from WLS out of Chicago when I lived in Champaign (got reception all those miles away on my little radio in my bedroom). I had given up at that point on classical violin and wanted to be part of the "fun" music that "everyone" was getting hip to. I now recall a movie and book (I read the book, didn't get through the movie) called Looking for Mr. Goodbar.

 "Helen Reddy--Delta Dawn Music Video". YazerPro. February 12, 2009.




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But DELTA DAWN (now realizing this title also has significant symbolism but won't go into that detail right now): the song that just popped into my brain and memory is not linked to my opinion of the male actor, the association came with all the videos on YouTube that are crazy fan stuff---obsessive/compulsive drooling for a celebrity, for example--and other ideas I won't write about in the personal domain.

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...and my 2nd association from floating but associated ties to the fan-base idolatry of celebrity brings to mind the great character of Miss Havisham from Charles Dickens' Great Expectations--again, the book brings more detail but the film versions bring the character a bit to light. Ah, what a fantastic beast Miss Havisham has created in the general but perhaps forgotten literary and film landscape. This also has personal associations with the ideas floating through my mind of this weird situation foisted upon me with being teleported to "them"--as I watch the fan stuff on YouTube, the gossip and the posturing charitable photo-op stuff of the celebrities who couldn't give a damn about the issues unless it involves some kind of profit or fame for them and their most cherished careers. But Miss Havisham and Delta Dawn are both adoring the YouTube videos (featuring every day with a fan base of millions this most famous male/one who women kneel in devotion to, some women I mean. Also men, of course).


"Great Expectations 'Miss Havisham' Mertida Hunt, 1946". Cool Guy. May 28, 2017.



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...and this song comes to mind---not because of the NAME in the title but because of the song--(I had forgotten the title of the song and the name of the woman for whom Ms. Reddy is singing) but the weird crescent moon hanging over a dying swamp is the term I might use for the technologically obsessed---I heard this song out of Chicago, over 200 miles south in Champaign and I tried to understand it with a 12-year old mind but could not grasp the sordid waste of life that Ms. Reddy was singing about---the video, though, is quite the subliminal because in the first scene of a city scene is a most clear and defined phallic symbol building--almost clearly obscene--I think media is more adept at hiding such clues at this point. But it wasn't really meant or intended to be so hidden anyway---it has a direct bearing on this theme and of the not so veiled obsession with "big city" pipe dreams and men and love and media addiction devoid of reality---(or is addiction the ultimate reality?)


"Helen Reddy--Angie Baby Cartoon". LukeDuke908. February 19, 2012.



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But as a little aside: here's to Ms. Helen Reddy and her contribution to the real feminist marches, meetings and fights that women have had to undergo all these years of protest--I AM WOMAN

hear me roar, baby! Maybe? A lady? Shady? 

"I Am Woman--Helen Reddy". Sophie Othilla Ngo. January 18, 2013.


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"Looking for Mr. Goodbar (1977) clip". Films 411. September 20, 2016.






This brings back a very different memory of me and my grandmother marching in a protest to keep abortion legal. This march was in the streets of Phoenix, Arizona around the mid-late 80's. My grandmother and I had our arms around one another while marching amongst the protesters in the middle of a long train of women marching for abortion rights to continue. Strangely this was one of the few circumstances where me and my g-ma actually embraced for more than a few seconds (she was a bit distant and very controlling--maybe a bit like a Miss Havisham but in connubial bliss with my endearing grandfather who devoted his life and everything to her, and it was mutual but I know she cheated on him and he still loved her for it. They loved one another for more than 50 years like the best of friends and devoted to their deaths). She was loving but not a doting type (my mother called her a kind of "super bitch" personality). She kind of taught me the "hard way" not to get involved with the creeple that the Nazi organization flew into my path with my brain inundated with "gravy" mind control ooze mostly all my life. She kept admonishing me to pick better men but in a whiney way which kept me on my toes--endlessly looking for Mr. Goodbar and now I've given up on looking for the elusive ultimate deadly abuser fantasy (must see but mostly must read the book Looking for Mr. Goodbar to understand my drift, can you DIG IT?).

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"5 Easy Pieces--Stand By Your Man--Tammy Wynette". HD Film Tributes. June 22, 2021.




This song, and this movie 5 Easy Pieces come to mind in this miasma of memories associated with looking up celebrity fascination on the tube circuit pumped directly into your brain and heart---themes of feminism. Oddly, the woman who played the "feminist/independent" character who Mr. Nicholson lent one of his homes to, promising her that he would never kick her out, once she reached that untenable age he did, indeed kick her out. I don't know what happened to her since I assume she got over very well--maybe I'll look it up.... But the film 5 Easy Pieces is, in part, a depiction of the fantasy good girl wifey woman who dotes on her husband and every tear waiting to drop at the slightest hat falling the cliche perfect woman-as opposed to the 70's version of the New Independent Woman who could stand on her own (maybe to buy and purchase her own house? However now that I understand the good ole Mr. Goodbar Network I know that women being blocked from obtaining financial freedom is a thing and for real, dude. At least for me becuz I'm supposedly "dangerous" and very bad and the list of hate terms for me is endless according to the people using subliminals to drain my brain of all positive reinforcement about who an what I am--thus carried-on by the teleporting terrorist mind screw operators out of H-wood, the celebrities who seem to gain money from their exploits playing the freedom loving women but support male domination oppression to an extreme degree of violence when it comes to me, as they also participate in the violence, ostensibly to prove to the male-dominated media industry controlled, I assume, by men largely and the women who support misogynist woman-hating culture.

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"Tammy Wynette--Divorce (lyrics)".  Lee Westwick. September 6, 2012.





At least d-i-v-o-r-c-e is still legal....women who want independence still have a chance to not be as enslaved but mentally they remain cloistered and supporting cheerleaders for male abusive relationships---





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Tears torture for the 15th year in a row on a murderous daily basis, just one out of multiple physical torture attacks rendered through this tech and drugging/poisoning apparatus structure so protected by all government agencies and the media and podcasters, feminists and anti-racist anti-rapist proponents alike as they are all following the same central committee orders as one another. Another day of them sitting yelling hate sentences at me while I sit in this chair endlessly sick from yet another day of the endless decades of shitting out this poison or being constipated with it gluing my instestines to my internal muscular structure and skeleton in all crevices possible of the human body. Another day of this rat from depp the thing he spawned and is so embraced by the rape and racist nazi black and brown and yellow and white and red and "rad" blue men who can only see the stigma of white nazi modeling culture as the definitive only peak of aspiration to be welcomed into on earth, in life, replacing all religion and all forms of worship, as the Nazis had intended when they toppled the religious edifices of the State and replaced their Nazi occult pagan symbols as replacements. I will venture to say that Pete Hegseth is a worshipper of Odin, for example but to say how and why--I only state that he stated his preferred essential oil scent to be "fir" from the tree, as he is from Northern Minnesota or North of Minneapolis. And "fir" is the tree associated with Odin and I can assure you Hegseth was trained in pagan Nazi occult from his childhood onward. Freedom of religion but of course they castigate me for reading tarot cards. They would instead say that Rune reading is sacrosanct but would not admit it in public (to retain the "Christian" condemnation witch burning ceremonies). Not exactly a tangent but this is the current running throughout America in it's essential, base form of glorification of false idols but nevertheless this is what the media is pushing endlessly and has done so especially when the Nazis took over the media (way back, long ago). I am merely stating the the permission structure is so entrenched to uphold this quasi-religious fervor associated with the allowance for these media expletives to do whatever they want to destroy my image because "America" must be "crushed " for the comfort of the Euro-nazis who are behind shrieking rats like this depp filth. I write this after 16 years of this group depp filth with their french connections, a drug worse than heroin in addiction to people mesmerized by welcoming this gruop in to ransack, assuming their worship will only enhance their environment and get rid of people like me. the Americans have been the first and foremost proponents of this nazi fascist system but they bring in the euro's and their hateful half euro-nazi children (all nazi but half eurotrash filth) to usher in with the white nazis of america and their black plantation slave mentality "powerful fighting racism" media icons. Ha what a sick joke it all is, so tangled up in blue and blood and brown muck musk was sent to inflict this by this group, the same one the same crap people saw a glimpse of what depp's sleazy brainwashing violence upon women has wrought and thus they put his replacement rat spawn as the hateful violent nazi open legged portal all can rush in but she's treated like an expensive prostituted whorewood nazi glamorrized. Her every stupid immature yelling statement met by approval silence from the dumb scumbags who torture me to obtain ideas from my graduate level reading background while having my face and body mutilated every single day, every day. Yelling "he's better than you" while I am stuck with hard poisons acting like internal metal bars in my back which they kept pounding in via the violent rape of their nazi euro-hate crap men who got promoted and embraced by nasty nazi arnold government team old boy scum hate with all the white rape culture men famous celebrities going psychopath for movies but silent deadly hateful abusers yelling at me because they can't, none of them, create movies with all the hundreds of millions of dollars they must have ideas handed to them, production teams handed to them by the English crown and the nazi holocaust gold incentivizing pipeline. That goes for the obamas who rely on this system for their book tours self-emblazing as trailblazing mavericks of the black nazi subordinate sub-plantation variety. Sorry but I know people will hate me violently for having written that. Unfortunately that is my assessment from years of this. No group of minorities more glued to mesmerized worship of this stupid ape filth crap are latino brown-skinned men. And their women but it's really not a contest. We are all so programmed via media, literature and art (from antiquity) in this programming manufacturing of "beauty" concepts. But to have my face destroyed with tears streaming down, my lips and cheeks pulled down to be beaten raped and mutilated BEFORE I began to fight back, realizing I was being murdered now fighting every day for my life to stop this. I am in my room exercising and breathing in so they force tears to stop my relaxation and bring in hate, and more time spent writing to the void to please stop this sick fucking hell group for once rather than allowing nancy pelosi gavin newsom aoc bernie sanders the obamas hillary and bill clinton donald trump his family and friends and that is the uppermost tier of the lower ranks of the real nazi fascist communist group structure that people know of--the real controllers are either watching through their portals of media surveillance or they are in the back of the rooms and I can't see them in teleportation. They are working on destroying all concepts of beauty and individuality in America so the blank and meaningless euro-hate teams can easily just assert imperialistic "dominion" over Americans who obey and believe they are "classy" and part of a "superior" team, not realizing that it is they who are independent in thought and therefore the wealth of American innovation and art and culture which has swept the world is due to not having bigot nazi euro-hate murderous groups with elon musk implanting microchips into the brains of unsuspecting 1 year olds to make them broken before they can form a personality and thus stray from the butcher's block for total annihilation of the group once all has been extracted for the theft and plantation enslavement of the nazi bigot (communist I would venture to add) hateful bigots who want a conformity like the "dark ages" which was not so "dark" but allowing the peasants to have any stake or meaningful chance was obsolete, is all I am saying.//. Tears springing out of my eyes due to the throat and nasal microchip implant system which these hateful "models" use to disfigure my face, lose eyesight and it's agonizing torture after 16 years of it never-ending for a single day. They want my face destroyed black huge circles eyesight diminished me looking like I've been sobbing for years and my lips and cheeks likewise pulled downward via the remote "control" over muscles. Heart palpitations on a slight level but daily an assault at "lighter" levels then the near death they imposed formerly (hours per day of heaving for breathe due to the heart and oxygen deprivation this dirty group of hate forces on me. Watching youtube in yet another morning round of detoxing hard, compressed poison (not liquid stinking diarrhea but hard, compressed "shale"-like structures embedded into my back. Coming out, exhausted. They sprayed grease, hair and debis on my patio once more so I must bend and clean that. I too much pain to do anything but try to stretch. Watching a video they hacked of a Mali dancer and as I watched in amusement at the wild body isolation movements the usual rat screamed "It's better than what you can do" with her snotty dirty spiteful about 6 year old mentality. This is the filth spawn from depp who is just a screaming dirty leech which latched on in her mid-childhood years watching her nasty dirty daddy j. depp rape and beat me along with amber heard. Congratulated for it, they amassed endless deals when elon musk joined in to bring a world of murder and spiteful nazi bigots like them inflicting physical mutilation, torture and murder upon people they don't like who are beautiful, happy and just to not compete with them. 16 years of tears pouring out of my eyes while ugly sick shitalina pumped up in hormones and went to oscars using my concepts and they are still dumping their violent hate and self-imprisonment obsession with the body image they sell for their careers but dumping this violence on me to feel "better" about themselves and all the money and support handed to every rape enabling skank in particular of the white nazi blonde variety so they can be "exalted" by the men who rape and beat and torture then rob my ideas to present these same filth-spewing hate women as those with bold, couragious strength to fight these same lack of manhood "men" adulated for their racist violence, rape and the use of dismemberment disfigurement these technologies enable them to "get away with"

  This same hateful, hateaf-filled endless energized sexually by torturing me since she was about 13 years old or earlier--when she was an a...