Sunday, March 20, 2022

There's one of the celebrities who I occasionally do a search engine thang for just becuz it's a bit fun (is it healthy?). I use this as a thermometer of sorts for my situation. But my brain, being under such ominously distorted states due to external forces, picked up this memory out of my brain-memory bank and it just came to me--a song out of the 70's I would hear from WLS out of Chicago when I lived in Champaign (got reception all those miles away on my little radio in my bedroom). I had given up at that point on classical violin and wanted to be part of the "fun" music that "everyone" was getting hip to. I now recall a movie and book (I read the book, didn't get through the movie) called Looking for Mr. Goodbar.

 "Helen Reddy--Delta Dawn Music Video". YazerPro. February 12, 2009.




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But DELTA DAWN (now realizing this title also has significant symbolism but won't go into that detail right now): the song that just popped into my brain and memory is not linked to my opinion of the male actor, the association came with all the videos on YouTube that are crazy fan stuff---obsessive/compulsive drooling for a celebrity, for example--and other ideas I won't write about in the personal domain.

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...and my 2nd association from floating but associated ties to the fan-base idolatry of celebrity brings to mind the great character of Miss Havisham from Charles Dickens' Great Expectations--again, the book brings more detail but the film versions bring the character a bit to light. Ah, what a fantastic beast Miss Havisham has created in the general but perhaps forgotten literary and film landscape. This also has personal associations with the ideas floating through my mind of this weird situation foisted upon me with being teleported to "them"--as I watch the fan stuff on YouTube, the gossip and the posturing charitable photo-op stuff of the celebrities who couldn't give a damn about the issues unless it involves some kind of profit or fame for them and their most cherished careers. But Miss Havisham and Delta Dawn are both adoring the YouTube videos (featuring every day with a fan base of millions this most famous male/one who women kneel in devotion to, some women I mean. Also men, of course).


"Great Expectations 'Miss Havisham' Mertida Hunt, 1946". Cool Guy. May 28, 2017.



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...and this song comes to mind---not because of the NAME in the title but because of the song--(I had forgotten the title of the song and the name of the woman for whom Ms. Reddy is singing) but the weird crescent moon hanging over a dying swamp is the term I might use for the technologically obsessed---I heard this song out of Chicago, over 200 miles south in Champaign and I tried to understand it with a 12-year old mind but could not grasp the sordid waste of life that Ms. Reddy was singing about---the video, though, is quite the subliminal because in the first scene of a city scene is a most clear and defined phallic symbol building--almost clearly obscene--I think media is more adept at hiding such clues at this point. But it wasn't really meant or intended to be so hidden anyway---it has a direct bearing on this theme and of the not so veiled obsession with "big city" pipe dreams and men and love and media addiction devoid of reality---(or is addiction the ultimate reality?)


"Helen Reddy--Angie Baby Cartoon". LukeDuke908. February 19, 2012.



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But as a little aside: here's to Ms. Helen Reddy and her contribution to the real feminist marches, meetings and fights that women have had to undergo all these years of protest--I AM WOMAN

hear me roar, baby! Maybe? A lady? Shady? 

"I Am Woman--Helen Reddy". Sophie Othilla Ngo. January 18, 2013.


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"Looking for Mr. Goodbar (1977) clip". Films 411. September 20, 2016.






This brings back a very different memory of me and my grandmother marching in a protest to keep abortion legal. This march was in the streets of Phoenix, Arizona around the mid-late 80's. My grandmother and I had our arms around one another while marching amongst the protesters in the middle of a long train of women marching for abortion rights to continue. Strangely this was one of the few circumstances where me and my g-ma actually embraced for more than a few seconds (she was a bit distant and very controlling--maybe a bit like a Miss Havisham but in connubial bliss with my endearing grandfather who devoted his life and everything to her, and it was mutual but I know she cheated on him and he still loved her for it. They loved one another for more than 50 years like the best of friends and devoted to their deaths). She was loving but not a doting type (my mother called her a kind of "super bitch" personality). She kind of taught me the "hard way" not to get involved with the creeple that the Nazi organization flew into my path with my brain inundated with "gravy" mind control ooze mostly all my life. She kept admonishing me to pick better men but in a whiney way which kept me on my toes--endlessly looking for Mr. Goodbar and now I've given up on looking for the elusive ultimate deadly abuser fantasy (must see but mostly must read the book Looking for Mr. Goodbar to understand my drift, can you DIG IT?).

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"5 Easy Pieces--Stand By Your Man--Tammy Wynette". HD Film Tributes. June 22, 2021.




This song, and this movie 5 Easy Pieces come to mind in this miasma of memories associated with looking up celebrity fascination on the tube circuit pumped directly into your brain and heart---themes of feminism. Oddly, the woman who played the "feminist/independent" character who Mr. Nicholson lent one of his homes to, promising her that he would never kick her out, once she reached that untenable age he did, indeed kick her out. I don't know what happened to her since I assume she got over very well--maybe I'll look it up.... But the film 5 Easy Pieces is, in part, a depiction of the fantasy good girl wifey woman who dotes on her husband and every tear waiting to drop at the slightest hat falling the cliche perfect woman-as opposed to the 70's version of the New Independent Woman who could stand on her own (maybe to buy and purchase her own house? However now that I understand the good ole Mr. Goodbar Network I know that women being blocked from obtaining financial freedom is a thing and for real, dude. At least for me becuz I'm supposedly "dangerous" and very bad and the list of hate terms for me is endless according to the people using subliminals to drain my brain of all positive reinforcement about who an what I am--thus carried-on by the teleporting terrorist mind screw operators out of H-wood, the celebrities who seem to gain money from their exploits playing the freedom loving women but support male domination oppression to an extreme degree of violence when it comes to me, as they also participate in the violence, ostensibly to prove to the male-dominated media industry controlled, I assume, by men largely and the women who support misogynist woman-hating culture.

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"Tammy Wynette--Divorce (lyrics)".  Lee Westwick. September 6, 2012.





At least d-i-v-o-r-c-e is still legal....women who want independence still have a chance to not be as enslaved but mentally they remain cloistered and supporting cheerleaders for male abusive relationships---





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Perhaps some of you reading this at this point in history do not favor the trump brand of ignoramus, "christian" rapist nazi bigot and prefer the lame and righteous lying hypocritical demo-rat version of the same set of f-u policies for "the american people" whom they all abhor immensely and have no respect for only white nazi euroapepigs are their only aim in society in any regard--the rest are here to service them even as top political representatives--they have bowing and racist blacks working to help nazis in genocide against jews in the front of supporting israel but only as long as it's ordained by the white nazi christian trump factions; otherwise anything not openly white looking nazi is doomed for black vicious vehement hate and rape cheerleader groveling, as jeffries just demonstrated towards me in front of your favorite white nazi democrat pick and the one choosen replacemtn for rump which is newscum the hateful lying nasty dirty filthy scum who trump has appeared with along with the big brass of the repugnant party in using newscu mas their chosen nazi delegation for the continuation of white nazi supremacy. This is not egregious hyperbolic ranting on my part, but the reality of a horrid sad fact which is concealed by theatrics, coaching out of whorewood on the part of newscum and his closeted misogynist hate for women is dumped on me as an easily accessible women not white bnlonde and slated for murder rape and torture and then yelling demanding in a nazi posture lynch mob hands on hips--"who do you think yoiu are?" as I scream rage after weeks of rape and torture he and the german slimei scum and the english filth crap murdeing bigot inflicted on me. All I had done is to move to california my address because trump and his contagion were having my disability cut off in an orchestrated assault on me using their techno-tyrannical "powers' misused, and then applied universally under the sick DOGE committee--a committee that mtg, a filthy lying pedophile rapist enabling filthy creep was a part of as well as the same from crockett--who is the most nasty black nazi out there in congress at the moment--approved of fully by bannon and my writing about her disgusting racist treatment and full screaming fascistically at me with a fuck you who cares about you? attitude with raskin trying as usual to get this contract, insulting demeaning and breaking the law while spewing and spittling out his every admonition for trump for violating the constitution. But this is about newscum who they want to put in power; that would be the openly racist white nazi kkk style trashy senators and trump and all his black-hearted fake christians---so revolting and vile and evil and ugly and sinister it's foul and filthy and newsdum was hands-on-hips in lynch mob posturing after noem came to play "good cop" as I screameds after weeks of beatings and rape because I moved to california, saw then that in july trump was redistriting texas and after the illegal actions he and his team to cut my disability SSI off, I was in anxious peril for my life I wrote to newscum the filth big bird evil creep that I supported his effort at prop 50---in the drugged zone they forced on me, and this was all am ind control drug operation and 16 hours of deadly abuse from tom hardy for about 4 months every day at that point, I wrote in mind control drugged desperation that "maybe you can become president" and this was entirely due to drugging and mind control. They did the same thing to me with kamala harris whom I had never seriously endorsed for this role and it was all forced into my subconscious, after I was under traumatized torture nearly death near death constantly fighting for my life after years and years of the shit from whorewood trying to murder me with poisnoing as all politicians including raskin and crockashit and piglousy all watched on smirking and smug going off being awarded and put into higher position for complying with nazi MURDER schemes. After newsom came at me abusing me and demonstrating abuse and hate at me, I told him in rage about the situation of his "friends" In whorewood I also told him I wished them death arter 15 years of them trying to horrifically kill me---it is natural after 15 years and ongoing rape and torture to death and poisoning to death---he began slapping me bringing on everyone he couuld to violently abuse me the first shit crap he brought on were a latino and black male threatening to kill me--then a team of english crap who had been abusing me he joined in with and in his closeted homosexuality has embraced the filth of beck pig-ham the soccar shithole creep who was calling me bitch as I responded to his insults---and thusly newsom begam calling me this and I finally just screamed at him that he should never be president was incompetent--this began more abuse and more and more until I wrote a message to this german rotten fuck just to divert my attention because this creep plays antifascist music, i wondered if the german entertainment scene was handling the rise of nazism in germany. This pig rat scum rushed to behave exactly like a murderous nazi with dirty trashy shit like sophia loren and dolly parton--newsom there endlessly with the most violent of europigape trash hate pig "men" who raped and raped me. In came after a while nasty noem and dirty rand paul, who at the time was the only repub who was openly verbal about the murders of fishermen in the carribbean (I cannot use the caps key so excuse wrong grammar). Rand paul, the rotten senator used abusing me as his excuse to openly oppose even faintly the trump murders as committed by hegseth, the first maga piece of shit to assault me for hours per day, with his nasty dirty family and then bannon joined inm saying he was going to "crush" me, as dirty shit crock-a-shit crocket joined in yelling and screaming as a fascst black scum ape parasite to do what these white trash shit "men" told me to do--beaming in delight and since then she has been promoted plastic surgery andin every white nazi liberal interview possible---the extent of the nazi control over the democrat rat party is unbelievable and for injsiders it is undeniable. So trashy shit newscum is intolerable he is vile and violent he is even worse then bannon and hegseth absolutel a nasty violent personality bereft of any sensibility except for white male privilege. He demanded after noem allowed me to vent at what sick violence newscum was committing against me as rand paul demanded that I call the german ape rat shit "master" and do what he says (no difference from shitty rotten crockett)( but also, that I submit myself to newscum as a slave to be beaten raped and so this rotten rat piece of shit connected to pig lousy pelosi could become president--so the white nazi trash pig white bigot men and women of the repug party can comfortably have no resistance to their nazi overtake theft and all crime and criminality fully concealed by newscum a most sinister crap filthy creep who postures as a "christian" has a fake smirkiing smile as he lies about all the platitudes he spews out--just as harris had done for her campaign it turned many people off. I spent some time listening to the blather of newscum and all he does is repeat a few sentences for every interview like a parrot bot---so incompetent and criminal sleazy white trash nazi shit---please america stop believing every pithy-sounding used car sales slut---newsome also continuously kept referecing the year I spent working at the lusty lady sex club in san francisco when the city he hails from refused me health care at the san francisco general hospital in the mission district--the terror teams put me in an accident by utilizing the microchip implant system along my spine to make my legs literally pop-up at a 90-dgree angle while i was running to worki and a woman I did not know ran next to me (I was just sort of jogging because my bus was late and I was trying to make the work deadline from the bus stop_) and let me tell you, under mind control when they use this extreme drugging and the brain implant, people "suggest" an idea and under this much drugging trapped in my body under the layers of (at that time it was much softer, the layers of bloating hardening poison, they added a hardening agent when they decided to kill me about 20 years ago) but of course, I had no idea and I only felt what seemed like a kind of hard muscle structure in my body--but I began to sprint next to her as she laughed and said "let's race" ---this mind control puts me into a state of absolute "oh yeah why not? " sort of compliance, especially when they frame the "control" in a funny or happy sort of innocuous way. I was running I saw my legs pop up at a 90-cdegree angle as I ran up a cement sidewalk---I fell on my back--I was finem I had been very athletic with a beautiful body regardless of the poisoning, very athletic all my life. I actually went dancing that night at a christmas party evening for this temp secretary job I was working on california street near chinatown but exclusive a law firm. I returned and was able to do everyhing not in pain--I woke up in excruciating pain, and later realizing they ahd used the microchip implant system to render me unconscious and they fractured my vertebrae and made a metal rod in my spine come loose (scoliosis surgery, dur to the poisons pulling my spine into an s-curve) my family absolutely participated in this and has since rushed to have my disability cut off so they could have me enslaved and continue to profit off this contract--to my death, they don't care don't give a damn ugly sinister and sleazy--with newscum the crap scum creep bringing them in, and being yelled at by republicans to put that piece of rotten shit into power by letting him alep about rape and pass me around and have me tortured to death---threatening my disability cut off as trump had done but much more immature violent and stupid in his premise calling me endlessly some prostitute who must be used to being raped---stupid sick white trash things to say--redneck lynch mob shit that he is. The lusty lady was a feminist operation and the first unionized show in america, the premise had been to force any man disrespecting women to be out--not women must bear abuse by shit like newscum and his teams because of male domination. this club was infiltrated when I had no choice but to do this--not "dancing" but operating in a privat4e booth--I had aloose metal rod in my spine coming out of my back--and that is how I went to germany after 2 more years of the rod coming out---and this german scum whom I met the last day of that 4 years of having lived in germany to get this surgery to remove the rod (by that time not able to sue the sf general hospital for malpractice) but, his friends had my spine further crushed in the lumbar region because I said no to a german scum who used the date rape drugging and offering me a drink and I was so drugged and in this false sexualized heightened susceptibility--the pig rats exploit this and then demand that I remain as their abuse partner because that means they get free deals and promotions undending for it. I said no, they had my spine fractrured and now I am disabled. The pig rat, whenI told him about what I thought he had participated in, had a huge smile on his ugly rat sick sleazy face (this was about 3 weeks ago or 2) and I believe he has had a lot of violence committe4d against me for having fought back against dirty rape date drugging german scum creeps just like him, who exploited this technology and microchip and implant and the endlessly trapped mind control drugs in my body--I fought their abuse and really dehumanizing rape (they brought their friends to rape me while I was drugged into unconsciosuness) I fought back, he is determined to destroy me--the shit and filth of whorewood and newscum are there to get this contract out on me---15 years I have fought them off but this group of shit who have mad emovies and gone to oscars for my ideas they stole out of torture and abusing me---I wrote concepts about women and women's rights--so newscum is constantly caling me so prostitute trash for having worked at an establishment which the nazi white male establishment (and it could be as easily black, latino, asian or jewish) but male abuse and oppression of women as sex abuse objects, a staple of male domination and thusly trashy newsum andhis blonde dirty bigot wife and shit pelosi all demand that he denigrate me for having had to do this to literally survive--my family tried to destroy me while I was that vulnerable and I had to flee them and the country. Now they are converging under trashy trum pand newscum is holding having my disability cut off and (it's already been done, but remains in a pending state) and he's always there with nazi europigape men yelling bitch at me for the questions they have noem pose at me as I describe actual rights for women, but only their blonde nazi women are "dseerving" of decent loving relationships in their opinion otherwise women like me are supposed to be ion their knees sucking up to them as they slap and call me bitch and this has been ongoing from the actual real prostitutes of whorewood and newsom is one of them new scum for the old scum do not put that filth into power he is a republican crap replacement but far more sinister than trump and in that regard because of his fake democrat stance . he is a plantation bigot kkk piece of sleazy filthy shit--he has had horrific stinking filth sprayed on my clothing and around my room into putridity for all these months--all I did was move ot his district to get away from trump and then support his redistricting proposal----he began hitting me for saying no to supporting him when he began instantly to abuse me with hatge, insults and death threats adn then demanding sex and to service him in this contract for president. I can only imagine rotten shit pelosi instructing him to do this, for she came with s-negger the former austrian gov of california threatening to kill me sitting next to him, aftrer I had said no to hi8s sexual exploitatoin and abuse---that was before the 2nd stimulus billl biden passed and pelosi obtained a luxury swimming pool for her wealthy district using the covid relief funds as some side bill--but done for her participation in this hate crime against me proving what a bigot nazi she really is. Jeffries just rushed to use something like "little nappy brown girl whore" at me screaming after I had written a post (4 days ago) about how the democrats are proving to be no opposition so jeffries under the directive of the german "not nazi" rat ape and newscum came to use these racist epithets and then viciously threaten my life, screaming fascistically into my face with ugly evil big bird newscum standing next to the dirty rat german ape scum creep--all performing the act of bigot nazi while the whites sit back watching smug that their minorities are "permitted" to be openly racist like white nazi trash but the white nazi trash remains silently observing from the side after having given the dumb and rotten ineffective and incompetent rotten minority minion instructions on exactly what to say and how and what to do. that is the future of the demorat party at this time.