My posts have been very angry and bitter -sounding in recent weeks. The increasing hate and ugliness of my tone is due to being raped constantly and then tortured after my body and sexuality is pried open by this German man who returns it with more violence as he goes off partying and laughing over it all. I can't look him up on the internet any longer to see how many new tours and gigs he's obtained in just the last few weeks. The protective barrier I had formerly for my spirit to remain in some kind of decent state is being breached as he's opening up my emotions only to dig in as much hate and insult and physical assault and emotional and sexual abuse as possible. I can't stop the technology nor him. He's determined to obtain his every contract sucked out of abusing me for I have no idea how long. I am thus writing in a very bitter and nasty tone; it doesn't help with the celebrities who have raped and tortured me for years laughing and thrilled about this violence and rape being inflicted upon me by my "enemy" a German as they surround him with awards and praise and invitations. He's so thrilled to be part of the Whorewood gang he's probably on some 7th heaven by now. I am here embittered and tired and feeling absolutely drained. I reacted in a most disreputable way when I was attacked in public because my nerves are distraught over this rape and endless exploitation and lovelessness and abuse and the sick situation that people are just laughing and thrilled to read and watch as I fight constantl for over a decade to get one rapist abuser after the next off me and they just are taking turns congratulating each other at their billionaire parties as I sit fighting to stop from being over-charged for a shipment of my credit cards because they have poisoned, drugged, raped and abused me nightly and daily for years and I can't cope with financial and any kind of business any longer. All phone calls are blocked all transactions are met with abuse or lies or discrimination. No one still intervenes. I wait for the flooding and hope that I will survive whatever comes and that this organization is destroyed and actual caring people put into power instead. But for now it's dumbass whores who I must deal with and the do-nothing followers who adore them. I feel like I am the only person who has this mentality but I know there must be others I can't even get around anyone to discover who they are, much less try to find some sympathetic group--all targets are left without any support system people always just turn away. In this state then I must say I can't wait for Europe to sink and for America to have that shift of power so people who care are put into positions of power. Generally though when there are crises only the worst fascists obtain power. I hope this will change. Otherwise I am stuck writing these posts and feeling like I sound bitter and nasty. I really don't want to do this. I really want my cat returned and for this group to be forced to pay me for my own house that is decent and not attacked and clean and around people who won't bother me in a place I really love. I don't know why this is so impossible for anyone to simply try to fight for me to obtain as I am blocked in every attempt at self-sufficiency.