Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Peering into the past, the unnamable crime committed generationally. Prosaic redundancy outside of the realm of the quotidian refuted.as poetic didacticism.

Thus, the confutatis confusion of writer's verbal spewing spouting and pimping and pampered luxurious delving into the imaginatory vectors of the spiraling sinews of Life's ironies.

Reading the onus of my malification bonus, inherited AS A CURSE FROM a Step-child I was brought up by:

"The literary imagination is a choice, a left fork off the quotidian. If the splitting were only in the mind and not the world, deep imaginative reflection would be schizophrenic. But Kafka locates the commonplace in that deep realm of the imagination. In the work of Kafka and Beckett, the barrier between the imaginative and real worlds has dissolved. K. of The Castle strives in the imaginative world while acting out his desire in the quotidian. The same in essence is true for the Unnamable. We interpret and understand his struggle as though it took place in the mind of someone in our world desperate to keep the intimations of his uniqueness from being smothered. Wordsworth's Intimations Ode provides a useful analogy: "trailing clouds of glory do we come / From God"; "Shades of the prison-house begin to close"; "And custom lie upon thee . . . / Heavy as frost." In Beckett, life extinguishes any intimations of the sacred. The self-the soul-is extinguished, and would be for the Unnamable if he were not crafty-wise and indefatigable.
We pull for him, impelled by our recognition of different aspects of the hero, and the different planes on which his representation has a powerful significance. The Unnamable, as epic hero for our times, merges into the aspect of the condemned Jew, one of the vanquished, repelled by life yet clinging to it, as if his ghostly existence constituted an act of responsibility to those already murdered. …"--



I have problems with writing due to all the hacking/drugging/mind conttrol tech continuously aimed into my brain.

The page when I post and publish appears as a jumbled mess, due to hacking. The script is tiny, the links are posted as weird nearly opaque hues. I posted the link to my step-father's review and quotes twice because I could not open the first link and thought a mistake or hacking insert had blocked the link from appearing. It did not appear when I tried to open it after publishing so I posted thelink twice without delting the first link! Ha. Both links open after a slight, but lengthy waiting time.
Reviewing articles written during that time when the ages were opening a brief moment in space and time when creativity and political awareness were merged into an explosion of imagination and inventive potentiallities for love, tenderness, kindness and awareness creativity. The articles in the Daily Illini from 1973 remind me of a time when I could talk to people and feel a deep resonance with another intelligent human being, authentic. Now there only appear what seem to be abosolutely stupid and dumb blank droids programmed with zero personality and what personality I do discover is so abominable, due to the stalking mentality, that they are not worth having any sort of emotion over. 

All I can do is read the old news and remember when there was a sparkling depth to the quality of the light, streaming into my bedroom as I lay in a bliss with the joy of a happy, loving home atmosphere, creative writers, musicians and artists converging at my house at parties where I laughed and played and people were lovely and beautiful. My Step-father, Gary Adelman, and my mother, Bette Adelman, would take long walks hand-in-hand. Kissing in the kitchen with passion and fighting to end War for all time. When the hippies could go shopping as yuppies, the black fumes of the backlash turned into a scirocco backlash lashing black death dust destruction, akin to Kali seeking revenge for too much love, too much gaiety, too much happiness for my family. Retribution in the form of a conservative backlash has in this current day, revolved into what I keep referring to as a fascist Nazi take-over of the United States.

It's not the old records, the old R&B funkadelic, the old movies, the old clothing fashion that the remnants of this movement are retained, but in the writing such as the words of the two links barely readable in the blog post (hacked, made barely visible, as the fascist Nazi hackers would stain, delete and vanish all reminders of a time when independence of thought was welcomed if it entailed keeping white males out of fighting and dying instead of black lives and whatever else dont' matter to the bigot fascist white males and their nasty female and minority minions.

Did I just have to end this brief jaunt down memory lane with the usual current event hate parallel because the hacking continues while I attempt to type this?

What a shame, a damn shame.

I must write obscurely with or without a dark lense because of the hacking and other impediments, the block to my brain from the tech, and the inability to think with this tech blasting my brain into some kind of tiny hole where I can't move beyond a few paragraphs written in jumbled blank meaning but very laden with intent and meaning, packed full of meaning but unable to organize due to the mind control program tech and drugging and etc.

Peace and Love, that movement, will always remain with me. Regardless of how much hate these empty, meaningless idiots pour into my jome, body and life, I feel lucky glad exalted compared with these disgusting blank stupid apes who attack me nightly and daily.

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Pimp nazi-nig88er hustler trained, believing without end that they "deserve it all "without having to prove "superiority" except in some body-physical appearances in movies---huge bodies, swaggering sexualized hormone injected plastic surgery enhanced---giving the nazis the sense that they are the epitome of every single aspiration of humanity possible (by blocking competition and creating nepotistic monopolies, endlessly encouraged by the never-leaving office politicians): because they are nasty rapist white expletives, pimps and whores but they are being programmed by the endless waves of terror death squads, nazi programming and ersatz "liberal" midterm victory hollowed out anti-semitism by any other name--no, they are the elders of Zion who instruct the fully dominated, cowed and loving Jews into genocide against Palestinians so the Promised Land is handed to them, everything is supposed to be first class entitlement for "them" the white nazi americans and their minority minions are working to achieve this new system and making America obsolete. They also program and pay off the palestinians and muslim brotherhood to kill jews so they create the endless conflict(s) and sit back smug watching and nudging one another about how gullible and programmed their "slaves" are in providing them with the resources (american military nazism by nazi hegseth, for example and whatever else comes in his wake) and thus, the world is being programmed in installing the 4th Reich but immediately, the situation out on me which no one is concerned about enough to give a goddamn about, or stop in any way, all must obey, follow orders all are given perks deals and promises and some get ousted from that narrowing empire but the rest are all the more determined to create a slave empire upon which they rest and everyone else does the work for them. The not so incredible Germans who steal ideas, just as the hate from whroewood has stolen my ideas and has generated for them untold wealth, prizes and oscars and awards and accordingly,I get raped and mutilated all my money stolen my years of study for graduate degree turned into poisoning and paralysis then rape and torture and endless information extraction which "they' are supposed to get "for free" and violent mutilation and rape while I am drugged, asleep is their entitlement allowance paid for in full by the obamas, by trump they all get next administration presidential privileges and endless speaking tours. and etc. Now they can all enjoy the hacking musk and his satellites and then the nazi-impregnated minions who follow slavishly all that trump instructs them to do, so people like me are never going to be a threat to their expectation of superiority just granted them like peasant slave and medieval dark ages hierarchy to the point that "nepotism" is not a word bandied about any longer, just "privilege" and then throw in God as Christian beloved of God status. So this is what "they " are successfully working to obtain. so far every top politician in congress has already been primed into following and obeying these dictates all are thrilled to engineer this into society. //thus, behold the type of german and french who people are rioting en masse in France and Italy and other countries in Euro-hateland and trump is saying they are the brown and black "losers" so they are just losers who can't make it. All avenues for "making it' are being demolished like the People's House at the White House---so behold, this rapist dude who had me gang raped and then fractured my spine when I fought back, all done while I was unconscious this is a mind control project---is rushing to be welcome into whorewood as part of the governor's race for president and the former governor who is still with his greasy paws on every million dollar legislation being passed by the pelosi faction with endless insider privileges, and because they are white nazi body builders or just drunken rape lying bigots but nazis so american needs them more than they need me to provide endless original ideas so shitalina and ape pitt can help more nazis to come into rape and steal and rob but only for "me" the darker haired "jew" not affiliated with any jewish group, israel and am an independent thus no group protecting me and the nazi farrakhan oprah and obama connection has created antisemitism which all the aspiring blacks Ih ave ever met and been attacked by are fully in their pocket doing their role in fomenting a shift in racist hierarchy, or that is how I interpret their viciousness in atacking me but endlessly claiming I am racist thus justifying their partnership with nazis in destroying me while they get endless promotions out of it~!//not low and dirty,no, they are exalted pure "beautiful and superior" white nazi men out of Germany and Austria only "because" it is expected and programmed. The vast numbers of black men and women and latinos and jews--all claiming to be victims of racism--rush to the hollywood nazi inner circle to "get their want it all american dream" payouts for fully putting nazi rapist genocidal haters into power; none of which Without delving into my usual hate ranting, I am under physical assault by yet another German rapist who is continuously attacking me with the depp daughter who hasn't stopped for most of her life in being handed every prop for her career out of simply having me raped, beaten mutilated and tortured. Beginning with her daddy then many german men, along with s-alina not jolie but sick and nasty. My ideas have furnished them all in this group with hundreds of millions of dollars from royalties and awards and deals--=my ideas sending them into fame and notoriety me getting my life, body and finances destroyed. Another hater who fractured my spine is here with his brother, a violent nazi who posed as a "hippie" playing guitar when I first met him in 1992--back in the hair band days they had all their costumes but underneath were nazi swastikas and endless mind control concentration camp programming they were being paid to implement upon me, as an mk ultra microchipped victim of endless assault and lies, systematic to the core of american and all other societies and their governance and societal trickle-down membership(s). //He was instructed to suck out what he could, drug me continuously and then when finished have me gang raped (that happened pretty quickly amongst his nasty nazi "punk" band friends---all obtaining records and tour deals after participating in attacking me. I was doped up always was, and going to that place near stuttgart was under a great deal of life-threat health issues. This man got his counttry and nazi group to provide me with health care and then kicked me out because I became angry about his increasing violence and abuse and what appeared to be a gang rape but I was unconscious, the signs were very clear. They didn't bother to conceal it very much. His parents, one out of Austria a small-town type Nazi and his mother a German. they swore they never ate any food but German, meaning only the German culture had any relevance. The first day I met the father he made a throat-slicing movement across his neck at me after I had offered them little gifts as a sort of cultural exchange friendly gesture. It is always the same, I compliment am friendly and supportive of the people whose money motives so outpace any action I take and they so aggressively abuse and insult me without any rationale (except racism or whatever, profit motive and allowance to openly display their racist hate by this group instituting nazism in american culture across all spectrum of cultural, institutional and financial means and ways). //It turned into hate fighting but I was drugged and my nervous system always put into a frenzied "love and passion" mode for him to suck my life force out of. This group is endless life-sucking energy zapping parasites it is vampirism put into technological but sadly, political import so much so that they handed all this technological terror to musk who has been granted every single top position and financial power to distribute to the spectrum of the rapists, genocidal murdering bigots and the trickle down to their seemingly "not racist' brown and black and minority minions (white skin is no exception many blonde "Jews" assault me with vicious delight and stare at the nazis to obtain the bestowment of approval by the nazis. This happened in Hitler's nazi SS even with blonde Jews who assimilated in superficial appearance into Nazi appearance but in every other way were probably some of the most vicious of the attackers upon the darker and completely vulnerable jews they helped in having decimated in genocidal mass murder. Now they just work viciously to institute the modern version of private little imprisonment and rape situations this conract out on me is so promising of--so protected at every level and by "everybody" in power.) This man with his brother and parents sit urging him to slap my face in a huge theatrical gesture from a side angle while I am sleeping, just "waking" in a dark black tunnel vision, and peforming acts of abuse at me "because" back in the day, after the gang rape and abuse and "helping" me to obtain the surgery which is the reason I went to germany--my family wanted me dead and fully sacrified to the death organization for their endless promotion and approval (all intermarrying with nazi gang bangers some blonde and white some mexican some very white "jewish" doesn't matter all are aligned all follow the same protocols). HE had a nervous breakdown during a verbal fight with me, one of the many. they use mind control and drugging on me to be "adhered" to the abusers so I can't "get away" I literally am chemicallly latched onto association with people I want nothing to do with. It's so powerful and at the levels of internal poison trapped into my nervous system, along my spine (and still there, hard as rock to this moment I fight every day to internally break this enclosure that appears like a "shelf" along my spine) but, the poisons are directly in contact with my central nervous system, along with the brain implant and throat implant and a series of implants along my spine; those are the systems I can literally "feel" attacking me but I don't know how many more there are. also the poisons latch onto all rips, tears and fractures and then remain stuck until I physically find a way to internally "break" them out through various herbs, stretches which are not the "normal" you would see in any instruction for a gym membership, not for tai chi i have had to adapt all the problems into my own routine (or similar to what others have created but I have only seen one single video using some of the adaptations I have studied for years to try to internally break this ledge of poisons out). He is blaming me for his nervous breakdown, for which he was hospitalized. He got this contract out on me. He stopped working he just partied but appeared to be "going to work" as I was drugged and living in his apartment in a tiny "dorf" village with no one to talk to, and all people nazis surrounding me with fake warm smiles but using mind control tech to institute friction and rancor between me and him. He likewise was drugged and a mind control object and with all his cocaine and endless partying with his friends who likewise raped and abused and insulted me as often as possible, the combination and what may have been the slight ethical sense of responsibility he may have had with destroying this relationship, as I was "instructed" to be very loving which I was. I was upset I was drugged and angry. His nervous breakdown: hostpitalized supposedly given shock therapy. I went with his family to the hospital which to Americans appears like an almost resort high luxury establishment with a surrounding beautiful wooded area

Some of the rancid parasites, all of whom I have committed no harm to whatsoever--the dirty german whore pimp and his nasty dirty nazi austr...