Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Peering into the past, the unnamable crime committed generationally. Prosaic redundancy outside of the realm of the quotidian refuted.as poetic didacticism.

Thus, the confutatis confusion of writer's verbal spewing spouting and pimping and pampered luxurious delving into the imaginatory vectors of the spiraling sinews of Life's ironies.

Reading the onus of my malification bonus, inherited AS A CURSE FROM a Step-child I was brought up by:

"The literary imagination is a choice, a left fork off the quotidian. If the splitting were only in the mind and not the world, deep imaginative reflection would be schizophrenic. But Kafka locates the commonplace in that deep realm of the imagination. In the work of Kafka and Beckett, the barrier between the imaginative and real worlds has dissolved. K. of The Castle strives in the imaginative world while acting out his desire in the quotidian. The same in essence is true for the Unnamable. We interpret and understand his struggle as though it took place in the mind of someone in our world desperate to keep the intimations of his uniqueness from being smothered. Wordsworth's Intimations Ode provides a useful analogy: "trailing clouds of glory do we come / From God"; "Shades of the prison-house begin to close"; "And custom lie upon thee . . . / Heavy as frost." In Beckett, life extinguishes any intimations of the sacred. The self-the soul-is extinguished, and would be for the Unnamable if he were not crafty-wise and indefatigable.
We pull for him, impelled by our recognition of different aspects of the hero, and the different planes on which his representation has a powerful significance. The Unnamable, as epic hero for our times, merges into the aspect of the condemned Jew, one of the vanquished, repelled by life yet clinging to it, as if his ghostly existence constituted an act of responsibility to those already murdered. …"--



I have problems with writing due to all the hacking/drugging/mind conttrol tech continuously aimed into my brain.

The page when I post and publish appears as a jumbled mess, due to hacking. The script is tiny, the links are posted as weird nearly opaque hues. I posted the link to my step-father's review and quotes twice because I could not open the first link and thought a mistake or hacking insert had blocked the link from appearing. It did not appear when I tried to open it after publishing so I posted thelink twice without delting the first link! Ha. Both links open after a slight, but lengthy waiting time.
Reviewing articles written during that time when the ages were opening a brief moment in space and time when creativity and political awareness were merged into an explosion of imagination and inventive potentiallities for love, tenderness, kindness and awareness creativity. The articles in the Daily Illini from 1973 remind me of a time when I could talk to people and feel a deep resonance with another intelligent human being, authentic. Now there only appear what seem to be abosolutely stupid and dumb blank droids programmed with zero personality and what personality I do discover is so abominable, due to the stalking mentality, that they are not worth having any sort of emotion over. 

All I can do is read the old news and remember when there was a sparkling depth to the quality of the light, streaming into my bedroom as I lay in a bliss with the joy of a happy, loving home atmosphere, creative writers, musicians and artists converging at my house at parties where I laughed and played and people were lovely and beautiful. My Step-father, Gary Adelman, and my mother, Bette Adelman, would take long walks hand-in-hand. Kissing in the kitchen with passion and fighting to end War for all time. When the hippies could go shopping as yuppies, the black fumes of the backlash turned into a scirocco backlash lashing black death dust destruction, akin to Kali seeking revenge for too much love, too much gaiety, too much happiness for my family. Retribution in the form of a conservative backlash has in this current day, revolved into what I keep referring to as a fascist Nazi take-over of the United States.

It's not the old records, the old R&B funkadelic, the old movies, the old clothing fashion that the remnants of this movement are retained, but in the writing such as the words of the two links barely readable in the blog post (hacked, made barely visible, as the fascist Nazi hackers would stain, delete and vanish all reminders of a time when independence of thought was welcomed if it entailed keeping white males out of fighting and dying instead of black lives and whatever else dont' matter to the bigot fascist white males and their nasty female and minority minions.

Did I just have to end this brief jaunt down memory lane with the usual current event hate parallel because the hacking continues while I attempt to type this?

What a shame, a damn shame.

I must write obscurely with or without a dark lense because of the hacking and other impediments, the block to my brain from the tech, and the inability to think with this tech blasting my brain into some kind of tiny hole where I can't move beyond a few paragraphs written in jumbled blank meaning but very laden with intent and meaning, packed full of meaning but unable to organize due to the mind control program tech and drugging and etc.

Peace and Love, that movement, will always remain with me. Regardless of how much hate these empty, meaningless idiots pour into my jome, body and life, I feel lucky glad exalted compared with these disgusting blank stupid apes who attack me nightly and daily.

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Ongoing physical mutilation terrorist report: the slashing under my fingernails and cuticles so that elevated bloodied swelling continues, the fingernails and fingers swollen, cuticles completely severed-off my toes and fingers, in addition to poisons put on my toenails to harden the nails into coarse, hard plastic texture never-growing deformed twisted and blackened. The mechanical arms are constantly going underneath all the layers of protection I wear every night also into my scalp to make hair fall out--falling out in clumps once more so the little bit left on my scalp is mostly gone.//While ugly shitalina the filth torture prostituted Nazi bigot of Whorewood with the German ape scumbag rapist her ally in utter genocidal violence, promoted by Trump and the Nazi 4th Reich and Gotti dynasty mafia with Stallone, et al (gmbh ltd English monarchy ltd) and once the slash under my skin they inject poisons, or foreign substances or materials so the "mind control "terror regime can continue for HOURS upon my waking from hate skits forced into my sleep state while being teleported, while they are slashing into my body and my consciousness is teleported outside of my "prime" body.//Every day dirty ugly shitalina has her rape dirty foul "men" and herself laugh about my breasts while I am getting undressed--the poisons she laughed about having her dirty nazi scum and brown and black and jewish minions pour into my body every day for the past 15 years, with my family, neighbors, and the 4th reich death squads having done this for decades priorr to this filth creep (but her dirty Nazi daddy was involved in this contract out on me back as early as 1974 or 1975, probably 1974 when my step-father the highly skilled poet writer professor was involved with the author of Deliverance in a poets seminar in Atlanta and returned extremely embittered, and he had to change his priorities of writing he then partnered with one of the English terrorists back in 1987, in London when I went there for a summer post graduation of college--and this man is intimately connected to the English royalty as a painter and his wife is the daughter of the director of Deliverance--partnering with dirty shitalina and pit ape pitt for over 15 years but ordering my family's targeting, my poisoning (which did begin before they got their filthy leeching apparatus sucking apparatus onto my life for their endless promotions) I was sent to live across the street from this English bigot back in 1987 in the organized hate structure, and my step-father was also involved in this orchestrated plot for his own promotion. But beyond all the greed and sleaze of this group including my own family, I must state that this ugly dirty whore has looked at least 20 years youjnger while I look 30 years older from the parasitic leeching off my energy, having dirty men rape and beat me as she watches on smiling and laughing along with dirty foul shit ape pig pitt and ther est of the apes and scum of Whorewood and Congress. The joke is that my breasts are not plastic surgery like ugly shitalina's and the jokes are endless after abuse death trheats this German ape endlessly punching my head and face, getting the crap of the Steven Tyler group connected to Stallone's Italian--all with English Italian French and German fascist Nazis rushing to join into collaboration of their take-over of Whorewood with dirty u gly stupid shitalina and pig ape pitt put endlessly into the Oscars every year, as they have been taking turns since their clutching onto my life for this contract back around 2014, taking the tech from Depp and putting Musk into power along with T-rump. The rest is " history" but you all keep silencing this situation so it's more death squad censorship.

  I put compression socks on my hands on top of layers of materials so my hands feel squeezed into crumpled shapes upon waking/. The ape shi...