Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Peering into the past, the unnamable crime committed generationally. Prosaic redundancy outside of the realm of the quotidian refuted.as poetic didacticism.

Thus, the confutatis confusion of writer's verbal spewing spouting and pimping and pampered luxurious delving into the imaginatory vectors of the spiraling sinews of Life's ironies.

Reading the onus of my malification bonus, inherited AS A CURSE FROM a Step-child I was brought up by:

"The literary imagination is a choice, a left fork off the quotidian. If the splitting were only in the mind and not the world, deep imaginative reflection would be schizophrenic. But Kafka locates the commonplace in that deep realm of the imagination. In the work of Kafka and Beckett, the barrier between the imaginative and real worlds has dissolved. K. of The Castle strives in the imaginative world while acting out his desire in the quotidian. The same in essence is true for the Unnamable. We interpret and understand his struggle as though it took place in the mind of someone in our world desperate to keep the intimations of his uniqueness from being smothered. Wordsworth's Intimations Ode provides a useful analogy: "trailing clouds of glory do we come / From God"; "Shades of the prison-house begin to close"; "And custom lie upon thee . . . / Heavy as frost." In Beckett, life extinguishes any intimations of the sacred. The self-the soul-is extinguished, and would be for the Unnamable if he were not crafty-wise and indefatigable.
We pull for him, impelled by our recognition of different aspects of the hero, and the different planes on which his representation has a powerful significance. The Unnamable, as epic hero for our times, merges into the aspect of the condemned Jew, one of the vanquished, repelled by life yet clinging to it, as if his ghostly existence constituted an act of responsibility to those already murdered. …"--



I have problems with writing due to all the hacking/drugging/mind conttrol tech continuously aimed into my brain.

The page when I post and publish appears as a jumbled mess, due to hacking. The script is tiny, the links are posted as weird nearly opaque hues. I posted the link to my step-father's review and quotes twice because I could not open the first link and thought a mistake or hacking insert had blocked the link from appearing. It did not appear when I tried to open it after publishing so I posted thelink twice without delting the first link! Ha. Both links open after a slight, but lengthy waiting time.
Reviewing articles written during that time when the ages were opening a brief moment in space and time when creativity and political awareness were merged into an explosion of imagination and inventive potentiallities for love, tenderness, kindness and awareness creativity. The articles in the Daily Illini from 1973 remind me of a time when I could talk to people and feel a deep resonance with another intelligent human being, authentic. Now there only appear what seem to be abosolutely stupid and dumb blank droids programmed with zero personality and what personality I do discover is so abominable, due to the stalking mentality, that they are not worth having any sort of emotion over. 

All I can do is read the old news and remember when there was a sparkling depth to the quality of the light, streaming into my bedroom as I lay in a bliss with the joy of a happy, loving home atmosphere, creative writers, musicians and artists converging at my house at parties where I laughed and played and people were lovely and beautiful. My Step-father, Gary Adelman, and my mother, Bette Adelman, would take long walks hand-in-hand. Kissing in the kitchen with passion and fighting to end War for all time. When the hippies could go shopping as yuppies, the black fumes of the backlash turned into a scirocco backlash lashing black death dust destruction, akin to Kali seeking revenge for too much love, too much gaiety, too much happiness for my family. Retribution in the form of a conservative backlash has in this current day, revolved into what I keep referring to as a fascist Nazi take-over of the United States.

It's not the old records, the old R&B funkadelic, the old movies, the old clothing fashion that the remnants of this movement are retained, but in the writing such as the words of the two links barely readable in the blog post (hacked, made barely visible, as the fascist Nazi hackers would stain, delete and vanish all reminders of a time when independence of thought was welcomed if it entailed keeping white males out of fighting and dying instead of black lives and whatever else dont' matter to the bigot fascist white males and their nasty female and minority minions.

Did I just have to end this brief jaunt down memory lane with the usual current event hate parallel because the hacking continues while I attempt to type this?

What a shame, a damn shame.

I must write obscurely with or without a dark lense because of the hacking and other impediments, the block to my brain from the tech, and the inability to think with this tech blasting my brain into some kind of tiny hole where I can't move beyond a few paragraphs written in jumbled blank meaning but very laden with intent and meaning, packed full of meaning but unable to organize due to the mind control program tech and drugging and etc.

Peace and Love, that movement, will always remain with me. Regardless of how much hate these empty, meaningless idiots pour into my jome, body and life, I feel lucky glad exalted compared with these disgusting blank stupid apes who attack me nightly and daily.

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Terrorist tech used while battling with a company delivering water: the usual gang stalking systemic attack. They will not deliver unless I pick the phone up to confirm the "next day delivery" --on day before delivery. If I do not pick up the phone the day before "next day delivery" they cancel the delivery. They have people routinely who cannot speak English clearly except for a few words, all contrived they speak English perfectly but just garble everything in such a rushed slurred manner that it is ridiculously funny almost. Later on the website has corrections for the inevitable items that they take out of every order---(I order other items too heavy to carry for my very injured body). This once very professional and friendly grocery chain, before the current admin came to power they were giving me free items as gifts, very friendly and professional always polite and with no problems. Now it's endless problems with extremely rude delivery people outright nasty towards me, smirking and gloating with the front desk people in the lobby all gathering to block the door push in front of me break things if my back is turned of my property while my back is turned, etc etc etc. They have stopped phoning me to confirm delivery so by 7 pm I don't know if they are delivering or not. No delivery unless a prior phone confirmation, and they have stopped phoning. A few weeks ago they never phoned me until I spent time over one hour trying to get a call back with confirmation. the sun had set already and it was nearing 7-8 pm. Finally a non-English speaking woman phoned and said, "we come in two days no tomorrow" and garbled something else. I told her I had to have delivery for tomorrow by that time I had fixed my schedule and it was for a next day delivery as well. I had to push her to actually deliver on the next day for a next day delivery. //2 days ago I ordered for next day, and yesterday they had not phoned by 7 pm, which means they could tell me that they would deliver perhaps in 2 days for a next day delivery, at the very end of the day into near deep dark night while they are a business working hour type of store, they close fairly early 8:30. I phoned their main number I was told they would phone me back (7 pm) 7:30 pm I phoned again got the same (terrorist/gang stalking diverted phone all agent) lying telling me that "if they confirm to me they or I will phone you back. I asked her firmly to please phone them now to confirm and she said "if they phone me back I will call you have a nice day" sarcasm permeated her little fake terror agent contrived employee voice. After about 20 more minutes I phoned the local store and was told they would phone me back in 5 minutes--the person on the phone not expecting my call was able to speak and understand english but not rapidly. 5 minutes later a woman who phones me for literally every single delivery in which some attack is made, not this store but all deliveries (the terror organization has constructed this one person to relay all the attacks, to open my packages to drug and poison food and water to screw me over, etc she is always unable to understand basic english although of course she speaks perfectly--as they all do with the nazis who order these attacks coordinate them and then watch it all unfold through all their tech surveillance). She garbled "water 3" and then blah blah so mashed-up with non-syllabic gutteral jibberish it was impossible to understand anything. I then began giggling which is part of the mind control--they attack my brain my nervous system and my throat is always constricted due to the microchip implant in my throat. They also alter my voice due to this chip so my voice sounds weird always---I choke cough in the middle of sentenes as my throat literally closes off to air and I can't even speak. Then I can't focus or remember my phone number, the attacks on my brain and body are endless. I then repeat after I am lied to sentences which are slightly discrediting. I keep repeating the situation as they repeat some stupid smug retort but sounding semi-professional, such as, I tell them to have the phone confirmation before 5 pm and that I had to wait until 8 yesterday and earlier this month and to stop doing that. The very pleasant (undoubtely having a great time doing this) agent then responded (retorted snorted) that "I see you can wait until 8 pm for a confirmation next day call so I will tell them to phone you up to 8 pm". By that time I had already repeated 8 times that I need them to phone me before 5 pm so I can arrange my schedule. I was nervous, unable to remain calm the attacks on my throat, memory, brain and nervous system plus subliminal vocal "commands" kept me like hectic, unfocused, and then she told me she would have them call me to confirm in the next 15 minutes and instantly under mind control because they had already been making sighing annoyance noises (in a previous call earlier to try to address these issues I was being lied to and told that I had phoned them at 1 pm yesterday, but it was 7 pm, and I had to make excuses for them and all the sentences I said were not my lingo not my rhetoric not my verbal usage but relayed subconsciously. Due to the severity of my need for this delivery system and all other factors I can't be aggressive and nasty in complaining in any way trying to be pleasant while they are terror agents posing as employees in the first place. So after repeating that I need them to confirm before 5 pm so I can arrange my schedule rather than not know if they are going to deliver at all, she then repeated that she would have them phone me by 8 pm. I had to interrupt saying that "no I need them to phone me by 5 pm" for the 8th time in the 10 minutes of repeating and repeating the situation, all under mind control, nervous system attack, vocal constriction my throat closed I was coughing and unable to think clearly. I can't describe what a drag this is to deal with---but of course, it's fun for them. Probably very entertaining for most people reading my blog to see this kind of obstruction and discrimination being used through tech terrorism and microchip implants all non-touch torture no evidence what a field day the 4th reich has with this tech all the sadistic users, abusers, haters nazis rapists etc they are cloying to get into this situation to have "fun" raping beating abusing me using this tech to get me to repeat under extreme life-threatening sickness and duress statements in which they respond with "you thought this about me" thusly rushing screaming hitting and attacking me using all they implant into my subconscious which I repeat after they have essential services, my life support income (disability from the years of poisoning they all have inflicted and laughed about mocking my body bloating up as they were murdering and raping me to death).

  All the while, cleaning clothing which hangs on the huge clothing rack near my patio entrance because the other clothing rack posited agai...