Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Peering into the past, the unnamable crime committed generationally. Prosaic redundancy outside of the realm of the quotidian refuted.as poetic didacticism.

Thus, the confutatis confusion of writer's verbal spewing spouting and pimping and pampered luxurious delving into the imaginatory vectors of the spiraling sinews of Life's ironies.

Reading the onus of my malification bonus, inherited AS A CURSE FROM a Step-child I was brought up by:

"The literary imagination is a choice, a left fork off the quotidian. If the splitting were only in the mind and not the world, deep imaginative reflection would be schizophrenic. But Kafka locates the commonplace in that deep realm of the imagination. In the work of Kafka and Beckett, the barrier between the imaginative and real worlds has dissolved. K. of The Castle strives in the imaginative world while acting out his desire in the quotidian. The same in essence is true for the Unnamable. We interpret and understand his struggle as though it took place in the mind of someone in our world desperate to keep the intimations of his uniqueness from being smothered. Wordsworth's Intimations Ode provides a useful analogy: "trailing clouds of glory do we come / From God"; "Shades of the prison-house begin to close"; "And custom lie upon thee . . . / Heavy as frost." In Beckett, life extinguishes any intimations of the sacred. The self-the soul-is extinguished, and would be for the Unnamable if he were not crafty-wise and indefatigable.
We pull for him, impelled by our recognition of different aspects of the hero, and the different planes on which his representation has a powerful significance. The Unnamable, as epic hero for our times, merges into the aspect of the condemned Jew, one of the vanquished, repelled by life yet clinging to it, as if his ghostly existence constituted an act of responsibility to those already murdered. …"--



I have problems with writing due to all the hacking/drugging/mind conttrol tech continuously aimed into my brain.

The page when I post and publish appears as a jumbled mess, due to hacking. The script is tiny, the links are posted as weird nearly opaque hues. I posted the link to my step-father's review and quotes twice because I could not open the first link and thought a mistake or hacking insert had blocked the link from appearing. It did not appear when I tried to open it after publishing so I posted thelink twice without delting the first link! Ha. Both links open after a slight, but lengthy waiting time.
Reviewing articles written during that time when the ages were opening a brief moment in space and time when creativity and political awareness were merged into an explosion of imagination and inventive potentiallities for love, tenderness, kindness and awareness creativity. The articles in the Daily Illini from 1973 remind me of a time when I could talk to people and feel a deep resonance with another intelligent human being, authentic. Now there only appear what seem to be abosolutely stupid and dumb blank droids programmed with zero personality and what personality I do discover is so abominable, due to the stalking mentality, that they are not worth having any sort of emotion over. 

All I can do is read the old news and remember when there was a sparkling depth to the quality of the light, streaming into my bedroom as I lay in a bliss with the joy of a happy, loving home atmosphere, creative writers, musicians and artists converging at my house at parties where I laughed and played and people were lovely and beautiful. My Step-father, Gary Adelman, and my mother, Bette Adelman, would take long walks hand-in-hand. Kissing in the kitchen with passion and fighting to end War for all time. When the hippies could go shopping as yuppies, the black fumes of the backlash turned into a scirocco backlash lashing black death dust destruction, akin to Kali seeking revenge for too much love, too much gaiety, too much happiness for my family. Retribution in the form of a conservative backlash has in this current day, revolved into what I keep referring to as a fascist Nazi take-over of the United States.

It's not the old records, the old R&B funkadelic, the old movies, the old clothing fashion that the remnants of this movement are retained, but in the writing such as the words of the two links barely readable in the blog post (hacked, made barely visible, as the fascist Nazi hackers would stain, delete and vanish all reminders of a time when independence of thought was welcomed if it entailed keeping white males out of fighting and dying instead of black lives and whatever else dont' matter to the bigot fascist white males and their nasty female and minority minions.

Did I just have to end this brief jaunt down memory lane with the usual current event hate parallel because the hacking continues while I attempt to type this?

What a shame, a damn shame.

I must write obscurely with or without a dark lense because of the hacking and other impediments, the block to my brain from the tech, and the inability to think with this tech blasting my brain into some kind of tiny hole where I can't move beyond a few paragraphs written in jumbled blank meaning but very laden with intent and meaning, packed full of meaning but unable to organize due to the mind control program tech and drugging and etc.

Peace and Love, that movement, will always remain with me. Regardless of how much hate these empty, meaningless idiots pour into my jome, body and life, I feel lucky glad exalted compared with these disgusting blank stupid apes who attack me nightly and daily.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Every single email and phone call I make on this laptop, not able to afford anything any longer since they cut my subpoverty SSI disability after HAVING MADE ME DISABLED using their tech, drugs and poisons and physical violence while I am helplessly incapacitated, asleep with brain implants rendering me comatose essentially. ///Trying to grow food on my patio is met by plants routinely being killed once they begin to grow anything edible. Ordering some cheap seeds which I cannot purchase at main stores, unable to get out of bed most of the day due to a "healing crisis" which has engulfed me for days on end (3 weeks, actually of extreme pain while under non-stop torture from that foul and filthy group who can't succeed in any industry unless they are abusing me--apparently they all hinge on torturing me for their endless decades of being put at the forefront). ALL COMMUNICATIONS are blocked now. Not receiving responses, zero mail at my mailbox where I should have mail recieved weeks ago. DISCRIMINATED AGAINST Openly by all businesses. Trying to get the delivery on a specific day, they told me to wait after I Posted exact instructions and that I had contacted the male driver---after 15 minutes or more of keeping me on hold, was returned with false information (the little scant bit of information had been totally altered with incorrect grammar like half-baked "english" from a non-English speaker like dumb and illiterate (obviously written by someone who can write very well). then turning it all around into me writing instructions 3 times in a row for one simple request because they kept changing the information (which is why they kept me waiting so long, to figure out what to write to turn a very easy request into a complicated mess). It's going on with deliveries---having to pay a basic fee with 10 cents change---basic bill count they give back 5/8 of the change using some bills and some loose change, then grabbing the money out of my hand and replacing it with more loose wrong bills and change, then grabbing that and handing me not enough change for the very easy total for the water delivery--and finally after being played like this I got angry telling them to give me correct change for the 6th time in 3 minutes of being screwed over for change like hustlers and cons. They responded with yelling "here is your change" as if I had really "insulted" them as they walked off in hate and hostility. Trying to write a complaint went nowhere, no response because all is blocked all content I write is bypassed by hackers. My mail service openly discriminated against me and my letters to the CEO and to various other agents trying to bypass their operators to reach the actual mail destination was met by silence as these are blocked, never delivered hacker-blocked. I am praying that someone will blow up the trump MMA festival of stupid male violence and the pricks and scum who attend hoping the drones that the iranians use to blow up multi-million dollar U.S. weapons which taxpayers are paying for but the cheap electronic drone gadgetry out of Iran just blows away the most expensive of american military--if only someone would assemble a host of drones to drop a huge bomb and wipe out the filth and shit of this scum pig fuck administration all the hegseths and bannons and mike johnsons and the orange piece of rancid shit as well. This pig is having social security absolutely deny me basic legal rights using this system to entrap me into "slavery" with shit like arnold shitnigger abusing me nearly to death day and night after tom hardy the english rancid flabby ugly fuck did it for months on end---ideas they torturred out of me stolen by rancid steven spielberg who is glorifying and basking in nazi approval for his nazi treatment of me---abuse, violence and insults after having abused the ideas out of me to claim as his own. Hope some nazi blows that filth away as well. That is the hate that hate produced in me---so for now, I can only hope and wait.

 ** correction to the below: only realized after turning the laptop off and realizing my brain was under the usual "mind control" ...