Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Peering into the past, the unnamable crime committed generationally. Prosaic redundancy outside of the realm of the quotidian refuted.as poetic didacticism.

Thus, the confutatis confusion of writer's verbal spewing spouting and pimping and pampered luxurious delving into the imaginatory vectors of the spiraling sinews of Life's ironies.

Reading the onus of my malification bonus, inherited AS A CURSE FROM a Step-child I was brought up by:

"The literary imagination is a choice, a left fork off the quotidian. If the splitting were only in the mind and not the world, deep imaginative reflection would be schizophrenic. But Kafka locates the commonplace in that deep realm of the imagination. In the work of Kafka and Beckett, the barrier between the imaginative and real worlds has dissolved. K. of The Castle strives in the imaginative world while acting out his desire in the quotidian. The same in essence is true for the Unnamable. We interpret and understand his struggle as though it took place in the mind of someone in our world desperate to keep the intimations of his uniqueness from being smothered. Wordsworth's Intimations Ode provides a useful analogy: "trailing clouds of glory do we come / From God"; "Shades of the prison-house begin to close"; "And custom lie upon thee . . . / Heavy as frost." In Beckett, life extinguishes any intimations of the sacred. The self-the soul-is extinguished, and would be for the Unnamable if he were not crafty-wise and indefatigable.
We pull for him, impelled by our recognition of different aspects of the hero, and the different planes on which his representation has a powerful significance. The Unnamable, as epic hero for our times, merges into the aspect of the condemned Jew, one of the vanquished, repelled by life yet clinging to it, as if his ghostly existence constituted an act of responsibility to those already murdered. …"--



I have problems with writing due to all the hacking/drugging/mind conttrol tech continuously aimed into my brain.

The page when I post and publish appears as a jumbled mess, due to hacking. The script is tiny, the links are posted as weird nearly opaque hues. I posted the link to my step-father's review and quotes twice because I could not open the first link and thought a mistake or hacking insert had blocked the link from appearing. It did not appear when I tried to open it after publishing so I posted thelink twice without delting the first link! Ha. Both links open after a slight, but lengthy waiting time.
Reviewing articles written during that time when the ages were opening a brief moment in space and time when creativity and political awareness were merged into an explosion of imagination and inventive potentiallities for love, tenderness, kindness and awareness creativity. The articles in the Daily Illini from 1973 remind me of a time when I could talk to people and feel a deep resonance with another intelligent human being, authentic. Now there only appear what seem to be abosolutely stupid and dumb blank droids programmed with zero personality and what personality I do discover is so abominable, due to the stalking mentality, that they are not worth having any sort of emotion over. 

All I can do is read the old news and remember when there was a sparkling depth to the quality of the light, streaming into my bedroom as I lay in a bliss with the joy of a happy, loving home atmosphere, creative writers, musicians and artists converging at my house at parties where I laughed and played and people were lovely and beautiful. My Step-father, Gary Adelman, and my mother, Bette Adelman, would take long walks hand-in-hand. Kissing in the kitchen with passion and fighting to end War for all time. When the hippies could go shopping as yuppies, the black fumes of the backlash turned into a scirocco backlash lashing black death dust destruction, akin to Kali seeking revenge for too much love, too much gaiety, too much happiness for my family. Retribution in the form of a conservative backlash has in this current day, revolved into what I keep referring to as a fascist Nazi take-over of the United States.

It's not the old records, the old R&B funkadelic, the old movies, the old clothing fashion that the remnants of this movement are retained, but in the writing such as the words of the two links barely readable in the blog post (hacked, made barely visible, as the fascist Nazi hackers would stain, delete and vanish all reminders of a time when independence of thought was welcomed if it entailed keeping white males out of fighting and dying instead of black lives and whatever else dont' matter to the bigot fascist white males and their nasty female and minority minions.

Did I just have to end this brief jaunt down memory lane with the usual current event hate parallel because the hacking continues while I attempt to type this?

What a shame, a damn shame.

I must write obscurely with or without a dark lense because of the hacking and other impediments, the block to my brain from the tech, and the inability to think with this tech blasting my brain into some kind of tiny hole where I can't move beyond a few paragraphs written in jumbled blank meaning but very laden with intent and meaning, packed full of meaning but unable to organize due to the mind control program tech and drugging and etc.

Peace and Love, that movement, will always remain with me. Regardless of how much hate these empty, meaningless idiots pour into my jome, body and life, I feel lucky glad exalted compared with these disgusting blank stupid apes who attack me nightly and daily.

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The STRANGER IS YOU is the strangler within waiting for you to self-sabotage for THEM: Wait for "them" to reveal what lies behind the smiling, humanitarian masks waiting to "help" you if you would just help them to help you--give them POWER help them to help you! Vote for them! Cheer for them! Believe in their acting and movie roles PUT THEM IN POWER because they entertain you!: As I lay in bed for the past TWO MONTHS in agony at times, under non-stop assault by the haters I have written of endlessly as they are encouraged to go deeper into abuse--years of them making millions off my ideas and out of just simply dumping their racist and sleazy sexist hate upon me as symbol and everything they "hate" and thusly, regardless of anything I have done (nothing except compete and win--in the past before decades of poisoning and health care denied and then torture and poisoning nearly to death and then tortured to the extent that I have spent years in torture hysteria on blogs writing to the incompetent shit of america who have allowed this hate cartel to just go on and on---to the detriment of the planet. MIllions are being killed due to this group of stupid sick crap and many more are dying in America due to this group putting that hate into power (not just a small "1%" but a huge component of the country not silent majority any longer. They tortured me endlessly I wrote their names I have been writing their names and you keep them in power. They mutilated my h ands so badly because I c ould not wrap layers of protection around them--they are withered they have all the veins sticking out--my hands have enlarged and then shrunk in skin tissue but enlarged due to the stress of the cuticles being severed out repeatedly day after day---little knives inserted under my cuticles nightly daily as I lay in bed unable to move--could not get out of bed. Hours of abuse being punched hit slapped and raped by the group and yelled at and sneered at and a president, his wife, two california governors, a senator, another senator, a house rep from Congress and about in the past 3 months 150 celebrities have rushed to assault me with the main abusers who are just rolling in money and were before they latched onto assaulting me becaues appratenly their money could not buy them slots in main roles and producer and profiting off the ideas they steal from me---torturing me to get more and yelling "loser" and "stupid" as they go on every second of the day yelling and threatening y life and abusing and making tears come out of my eyes--spraying stinking filth on my clothing my furniture my curtains my bed etc under things filth sprayed and dumped using their mechanical arms--in every room behind panels which are opened and then sealed shut on the other side---non-stop it goes on and on. My hands were so damaged they look like I am dead --like a dead person's hands the extent of severing into the nail bed every day for years and years (since 2012 it has gone on and on and on nightly that means over 15 years of my cuticles being routinely nightly slashed and cut into almost every single night. But they poured horrific chemicals into my hands which literally the skin tissue has become almost dead in appearance from what they did--the hands are withered and boney with blue veins from the poisons they poured on my hands and skin and then slashed cuticles every nail so the blood flow was restricted. They injected something into my scalp to make the hair dead in the front of my hairline---that goes along with sick and stupid sleazy deep sleep teleportation skits of hate, homelessness and abuse--my hair is completely gone on most of my scalp from the damage they have done, my skin is pockmarked and racked with scars from nghtly poisoning my body is hard internally like an internet hard wall restricting my body and fighting to get it out since 2011 and I am still fighting as for hours every day the rat spawn of depp screams hate at me dirty arnold is always encourating every sick parasitic psychopath sadist (that is what the humanitarians in media and in congress all rally around, the sadism the violence and torture every single one of them don't doubt it for a second--the hippie musicians of the 60's and 70's who were most famous have not stopped for years and years participating all callous rape culture and racist sexist the MEN and their hippie women just can't wait to profit off inflicting torture and near-death upon an innocent person--oh the excuses they make just labeling me with any absurd but dangerous label of justification and then all repeat it. Seeing how the witch hunt mentality is so easily spread in this modern age but then again, these same creeple were put in "power" to regress society to a point of neanderthal homostasis of concern about society and a reversion to feudal lord dominion over those they exploit--to death--they all can't wait. So I remain fighting seeing that there is no salvation the candidates being put as the hopeful for the against rump are just more but not as mandarin jaded as the usual dinos corrugated with corruption but all blathering out the same hopeful jargon as one another---they are all sanctioning with whole-black-hearted glee this endless rape torture nazi violence upon me. Almost all of whorewood has participated all the A$$-hole actor/actress haters all using this contract to never have to fight for a role again, in league with the politicians who want to never have to fight for another election again (rump is promising a 100-year no-contest for repug wins after the midterms when the jack-in-the-box nazi reversion campaign for the golden era of nazi and feudal lord dark ages resumed. To see me able to compete and win and also be beautiful has meant mutilation without end for over 18 years without a single fuck in the entire world defending me against this brutality not one single person doing more than a mere little drop in an ocean of violence---that is the future whatever they are promising for the midterms by now I doubt seriously will result in anything but--in the end not immediate but long-term a worsening of the current but short-term they will appear like Nirvana. In history this has always been the case, but then OOPS THEY Will fail and inevitably the fasco nazi haters will get their concentration camps not only for the "illegal" brown people....

**hackers are at work again deleting words from sentences and half-deleting and pasting sentences together. I re-read some of the sentences ...