Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Peering into the past, the unnamable crime committed generationally. Prosaic redundancy outside of the realm of the quotidian refuted.as poetic didacticism.

Thus, the confutatis confusion of writer's verbal spewing spouting and pimping and pampered luxurious delving into the imaginatory vectors of the spiraling sinews of Life's ironies.

Reading the onus of my malification bonus, inherited AS A CURSE FROM a Step-child I was brought up by:

"The literary imagination is a choice, a left fork off the quotidian. If the splitting were only in the mind and not the world, deep imaginative reflection would be schizophrenic. But Kafka locates the commonplace in that deep realm of the imagination. In the work of Kafka and Beckett, the barrier between the imaginative and real worlds has dissolved. K. of The Castle strives in the imaginative world while acting out his desire in the quotidian. The same in essence is true for the Unnamable. We interpret and understand his struggle as though it took place in the mind of someone in our world desperate to keep the intimations of his uniqueness from being smothered. Wordsworth's Intimations Ode provides a useful analogy: "trailing clouds of glory do we come / From God"; "Shades of the prison-house begin to close"; "And custom lie upon thee . . . / Heavy as frost." In Beckett, life extinguishes any intimations of the sacred. The self-the soul-is extinguished, and would be for the Unnamable if he were not crafty-wise and indefatigable.
We pull for him, impelled by our recognition of different aspects of the hero, and the different planes on which his representation has a powerful significance. The Unnamable, as epic hero for our times, merges into the aspect of the condemned Jew, one of the vanquished, repelled by life yet clinging to it, as if his ghostly existence constituted an act of responsibility to those already murdered. …"--



I have problems with writing due to all the hacking/drugging/mind conttrol tech continuously aimed into my brain.

The page when I post and publish appears as a jumbled mess, due to hacking. The script is tiny, the links are posted as weird nearly opaque hues. I posted the link to my step-father's review and quotes twice because I could not open the first link and thought a mistake or hacking insert had blocked the link from appearing. It did not appear when I tried to open it after publishing so I posted thelink twice without delting the first link! Ha. Both links open after a slight, but lengthy waiting time.
Reviewing articles written during that time when the ages were opening a brief moment in space and time when creativity and political awareness were merged into an explosion of imagination and inventive potentiallities for love, tenderness, kindness and awareness creativity. The articles in the Daily Illini from 1973 remind me of a time when I could talk to people and feel a deep resonance with another intelligent human being, authentic. Now there only appear what seem to be abosolutely stupid and dumb blank droids programmed with zero personality and what personality I do discover is so abominable, due to the stalking mentality, that they are not worth having any sort of emotion over. 

All I can do is read the old news and remember when there was a sparkling depth to the quality of the light, streaming into my bedroom as I lay in a bliss with the joy of a happy, loving home atmosphere, creative writers, musicians and artists converging at my house at parties where I laughed and played and people were lovely and beautiful. My Step-father, Gary Adelman, and my mother, Bette Adelman, would take long walks hand-in-hand. Kissing in the kitchen with passion and fighting to end War for all time. When the hippies could go shopping as yuppies, the black fumes of the backlash turned into a scirocco backlash lashing black death dust destruction, akin to Kali seeking revenge for too much love, too much gaiety, too much happiness for my family. Retribution in the form of a conservative backlash has in this current day, revolved into what I keep referring to as a fascist Nazi take-over of the United States.

It's not the old records, the old R&B funkadelic, the old movies, the old clothing fashion that the remnants of this movement are retained, but in the writing such as the words of the two links barely readable in the blog post (hacked, made barely visible, as the fascist Nazi hackers would stain, delete and vanish all reminders of a time when independence of thought was welcomed if it entailed keeping white males out of fighting and dying instead of black lives and whatever else dont' matter to the bigot fascist white males and their nasty female and minority minions.

Did I just have to end this brief jaunt down memory lane with the usual current event hate parallel because the hacking continues while I attempt to type this?

What a shame, a damn shame.

I must write obscurely with or without a dark lense because of the hacking and other impediments, the block to my brain from the tech, and the inability to think with this tech blasting my brain into some kind of tiny hole where I can't move beyond a few paragraphs written in jumbled blank meaning but very laden with intent and meaning, packed full of meaning but unable to organize due to the mind control program tech and drugging and etc.

Peace and Love, that movement, will always remain with me. Regardless of how much hate these empty, meaningless idiots pour into my jome, body and life, I feel lucky glad exalted compared with these disgusting blank stupid apes who attack me nightly and daily.

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Tears torture for the 15th year in a row on a murderous daily basis, just one out of multiple physical torture attacks rendered through this tech and drugging/poisoning apparatus structure so protected by all government agencies and the media and podcasters, feminists and anti-racist anti-rapist proponents alike as they are all following the same central committee orders as one another. Another day of them sitting yelling hate sentences at me while I sit in this chair endlessly sick from yet another day of the endless decades of shitting out this poison or being constipated with it gluing my instestines to my internal muscular structure and skeleton in all crevices possible of the human body. Another day of this rat from depp the thing he spawned and is so embraced by the rape and racist nazi black and brown and yellow and white and red and "rad" blue men who can only see the stigma of white nazi modeling culture as the definitive only peak of aspiration to be welcomed into on earth, in life, replacing all religion and all forms of worship, as the Nazis had intended when they toppled the religious edifices of the State and replaced their Nazi occult pagan symbols as replacements. I will venture to say that Pete Hegseth is a worshipper of Odin, for example but to say how and why--I only state that he stated his preferred essential oil scent to be "fir" from the tree, as he is from Northern Minnesota or North of Minneapolis. And "fir" is the tree associated with Odin and I can assure you Hegseth was trained in pagan Nazi occult from his childhood onward. Freedom of religion but of course they castigate me for reading tarot cards. They would instead say that Rune reading is sacrosanct but would not admit it in public (to retain the "Christian" condemnation witch burning ceremonies). Not exactly a tangent but this is the current running throughout America in it's essential, base form of glorification of false idols but nevertheless this is what the media is pushing endlessly and has done so especially when the Nazis took over the media (way back, long ago). I am merely stating the the permission structure is so entrenched to uphold this quasi-religious fervor associated with the allowance for these media expletives to do whatever they want to destroy my image because "America" must be "crushed " for the comfort of the Euro-nazis who are behind shrieking rats like this depp filth. I write this after 16 years of this group depp filth with their french connections, a drug worse than heroin in addiction to people mesmerized by welcoming this gruop in to ransack, assuming their worship will only enhance their environment and get rid of people like me. the Americans have been the first and foremost proponents of this nazi fascist system but they bring in the euro's and their hateful half euro-nazi children (all nazi but half eurotrash filth) to usher in with the white nazis of america and their black plantation slave mentality "powerful fighting racism" media icons. Ha what a sick joke it all is, so tangled up in blue and blood and brown muck musk was sent to inflict this by this group, the same one the same crap people saw a glimpse of what depp's sleazy brainwashing violence upon women has wrought and thus they put his replacement rat spawn as the hateful violent nazi open legged portal all can rush in but she's treated like an expensive prostituted whorewood nazi glamorrized. Her every stupid immature yelling statement met by approval silence from the dumb scumbags who torture me to obtain ideas from my graduate level reading background while having my face and body mutilated every single day, every day. Yelling "he's better than you" while I am stuck with hard poisons acting like internal metal bars in my back which they kept pounding in via the violent rape of their nazi euro-hate crap men who got promoted and embraced by nasty nazi arnold government team old boy scum hate with all the white rape culture men famous celebrities going psychopath for movies but silent deadly hateful abusers yelling at me because they can't, none of them, create movies with all the hundreds of millions of dollars they must have ideas handed to them, production teams handed to them by the English crown and the nazi holocaust gold incentivizing pipeline. That goes for the obamas who rely on this system for their book tours self-emblazing as trailblazing mavericks of the black nazi subordinate sub-plantation variety. Sorry but I know people will hate me violently for having written that. Unfortunately that is my assessment from years of this. No group of minorities more glued to mesmerized worship of this stupid ape filth crap are latino brown-skinned men. And their women but it's really not a contest. We are all so programmed via media, literature and art (from antiquity) in this programming manufacturing of "beauty" concepts. But to have my face destroyed with tears streaming down, my lips and cheeks pulled down to be beaten raped and mutilated BEFORE I began to fight back, realizing I was being murdered now fighting every day for my life to stop this. I am in my room exercising and breathing in so they force tears to stop my relaxation and bring in hate, and more time spent writing to the void to please stop this sick fucking hell group for once rather than allowing nancy pelosi gavin newsom aoc bernie sanders the obamas hillary and bill clinton donald trump his family and friends and that is the uppermost tier of the lower ranks of the real nazi fascist communist group structure that people know of--the real controllers are either watching through their portals of media surveillance or they are in the back of the rooms and I can't see them in teleportation. They are working on destroying all concepts of beauty and individuality in America so the blank and meaningless euro-hate teams can easily just assert imperialistic "dominion" over Americans who obey and believe they are "classy" and part of a "superior" team, not realizing that it is they who are independent in thought and therefore the wealth of American innovation and art and culture which has swept the world is due to not having bigot nazi euro-hate murderous groups with elon musk implanting microchips into the brains of unsuspecting 1 year olds to make them broken before they can form a personality and thus stray from the butcher's block for total annihilation of the group once all has been extracted for the theft and plantation enslavement of the nazi bigot (communist I would venture to add) hateful bigots who want a conformity like the "dark ages" which was not so "dark" but allowing the peasants to have any stake or meaningful chance was obsolete, is all I am saying.//. Tears springing out of my eyes due to the throat and nasal microchip implant system which these hateful "models" use to disfigure my face, lose eyesight and it's agonizing torture after 16 years of it never-ending for a single day. They want my face destroyed black huge circles eyesight diminished me looking like I've been sobbing for years and my lips and cheeks likewise pulled downward via the remote "control" over muscles. Heart palpitations on a slight level but daily an assault at "lighter" levels then the near death they imposed formerly (hours per day of heaving for breathe due to the heart and oxygen deprivation this dirty group of hate forces on me. Watching youtube in yet another morning round of detoxing hard, compressed poison (not liquid stinking diarrhea but hard, compressed "shale"-like structures embedded into my back. Coming out, exhausted. They sprayed grease, hair and debis on my patio once more so I must bend and clean that. I too much pain to do anything but try to stretch. Watching a video they hacked of a Mali dancer and as I watched in amusement at the wild body isolation movements the usual rat screamed "It's better than what you can do" with her snotty dirty spiteful about 6 year old mentality. This is the filth spawn from depp who is just a screaming dirty leech which latched on in her mid-childhood years watching her nasty dirty daddy j. depp rape and beat me along with amber heard. Congratulated for it, they amassed endless deals when elon musk joined in to bring a world of murder and spiteful nazi bigots like them inflicting physical mutilation, torture and murder upon people they don't like who are beautiful, happy and just to not compete with them. 16 years of tears pouring out of my eyes while ugly sick shitalina pumped up in hormones and went to oscars using my concepts and they are still dumping their violent hate and self-imprisonment obsession with the body image they sell for their careers but dumping this violence on me to feel "better" about themselves and all the money and support handed to every rape enabling skank in particular of the white nazi blonde variety so they can be "exalted" by the men who rape and beat and torture then rob my ideas to present these same filth-spewing hate women as those with bold, couragious strength to fight these same lack of manhood "men" adulated for their racist violence, rape and the use of dismemberment disfigurement these technologies enable them to "get away with"

  This same hateful, hateaf-filled endless energized sexually by torturing me since she was about 13 years old or earlier--when she was an a...