Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Peering into the past, the unnamable crime committed generationally. Prosaic redundancy outside of the realm of the quotidian refuted.as poetic didacticism.

Thus, the confutatis confusion of writer's verbal spewing spouting and pimping and pampered luxurious delving into the imaginatory vectors of the spiraling sinews of Life's ironies.

Reading the onus of my malification bonus, inherited AS A CURSE FROM a Step-child I was brought up by:

"The literary imagination is a choice, a left fork off the quotidian. If the splitting were only in the mind and not the world, deep imaginative reflection would be schizophrenic. But Kafka locates the commonplace in that deep realm of the imagination. In the work of Kafka and Beckett, the barrier between the imaginative and real worlds has dissolved. K. of The Castle strives in the imaginative world while acting out his desire in the quotidian. The same in essence is true for the Unnamable. We interpret and understand his struggle as though it took place in the mind of someone in our world desperate to keep the intimations of his uniqueness from being smothered. Wordsworth's Intimations Ode provides a useful analogy: "trailing clouds of glory do we come / From God"; "Shades of the prison-house begin to close"; "And custom lie upon thee . . . / Heavy as frost." In Beckett, life extinguishes any intimations of the sacred. The self-the soul-is extinguished, and would be for the Unnamable if he were not crafty-wise and indefatigable.
We pull for him, impelled by our recognition of different aspects of the hero, and the different planes on which his representation has a powerful significance. The Unnamable, as epic hero for our times, merges into the aspect of the condemned Jew, one of the vanquished, repelled by life yet clinging to it, as if his ghostly existence constituted an act of responsibility to those already murdered. …"--



I have problems with writing due to all the hacking/drugging/mind conttrol tech continuously aimed into my brain.

The page when I post and publish appears as a jumbled mess, due to hacking. The script is tiny, the links are posted as weird nearly opaque hues. I posted the link to my step-father's review and quotes twice because I could not open the first link and thought a mistake or hacking insert had blocked the link from appearing. It did not appear when I tried to open it after publishing so I posted thelink twice without delting the first link! Ha. Both links open after a slight, but lengthy waiting time.
Reviewing articles written during that time when the ages were opening a brief moment in space and time when creativity and political awareness were merged into an explosion of imagination and inventive potentiallities for love, tenderness, kindness and awareness creativity. The articles in the Daily Illini from 1973 remind me of a time when I could talk to people and feel a deep resonance with another intelligent human being, authentic. Now there only appear what seem to be abosolutely stupid and dumb blank droids programmed with zero personality and what personality I do discover is so abominable, due to the stalking mentality, that they are not worth having any sort of emotion over. 

All I can do is read the old news and remember when there was a sparkling depth to the quality of the light, streaming into my bedroom as I lay in a bliss with the joy of a happy, loving home atmosphere, creative writers, musicians and artists converging at my house at parties where I laughed and played and people were lovely and beautiful. My Step-father, Gary Adelman, and my mother, Bette Adelman, would take long walks hand-in-hand. Kissing in the kitchen with passion and fighting to end War for all time. When the hippies could go shopping as yuppies, the black fumes of the backlash turned into a scirocco backlash lashing black death dust destruction, akin to Kali seeking revenge for too much love, too much gaiety, too much happiness for my family. Retribution in the form of a conservative backlash has in this current day, revolved into what I keep referring to as a fascist Nazi take-over of the United States.

It's not the old records, the old R&B funkadelic, the old movies, the old clothing fashion that the remnants of this movement are retained, but in the writing such as the words of the two links barely readable in the blog post (hacked, made barely visible, as the fascist Nazi hackers would stain, delete and vanish all reminders of a time when independence of thought was welcomed if it entailed keeping white males out of fighting and dying instead of black lives and whatever else dont' matter to the bigot fascist white males and their nasty female and minority minions.

Did I just have to end this brief jaunt down memory lane with the usual current event hate parallel because the hacking continues while I attempt to type this?

What a shame, a damn shame.

I must write obscurely with or without a dark lense because of the hacking and other impediments, the block to my brain from the tech, and the inability to think with this tech blasting my brain into some kind of tiny hole where I can't move beyond a few paragraphs written in jumbled blank meaning but very laden with intent and meaning, packed full of meaning but unable to organize due to the mind control program tech and drugging and etc.

Peace and Love, that movement, will always remain with me. Regardless of how much hate these empty, meaningless idiots pour into my jome, body and life, I feel lucky glad exalted compared with these disgusting blank stupid apes who attack me nightly and daily.

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STOP supporting the malfeasance of this pelosi-newsom-jeffries-et al (Mafia nazi celebrities who put trump & the democrat nazi rats into power concurrently to control all sides) & current nazi-mafia media-corruption politician military idiot savant complex & Do not continue to support the nazi mafia cartel of the pelosi-newsom-hack-eem jeffries plus non-stop nazi euroape trash shit shitalina pig ape pitt et al rotten empire: Hack-eem jeffries, working with white german nazi death threatening concentration camp abuser rapist with his slew of white nazi female cheerleaders; all denying the obvbious stance of their attack on me because they play fake opposition to nazism in their public personas---for which they are kept in power indefinitely do not keep them in power--and this post is defunct of higher conceptual and critical analysis the combination of brainwave manipulation (I am quesy, dizzy the attacks on my nervous system and brain render me nearly in a fainting sickness mode aka havana syndrome or something akin---the keyboard is a non-stop mine field of hacks to all functions the caps key is hacked so I must rewrite some words four times in a row the shift key is being hacked remotely constantly--so brain and keyboard function making me dizzy, unable to access critical thinking rationality and calm observational plus the keyboard so hard and impossible on all levels from hard keys I must pound to the caps being hacked constantly so this is a diatribe-style post but still highly relevant although cursing and ranting!)Another black nazi politician out of congress rushing to violently threaten my life while the white nazi trash shit is sitting silently ordering the "good black" to use outright nazi lynch mob racist language at me for the black nazi's promotion into higher position. Mandami was approvewd-of by trump last week because he rushed to obtain permission by this german "antifa punk' musician scum creep and afterwards, mandami was lauded by trump the nazi puppet of the eurotrash world regime controlling congress, through the mechanism of media exposure and approval via whorewood and the media-cyber-industrial complex.//Hakeem Jeffrkes and gavin newsom--although every single time I write of the malfeasance, corruption and scum racist crime of every politician who rushes to join in a non-stop murder regime of abusing me to death poisoning me to death pounding poison into my body into paralysis and death via rape teleportation and in deep sleep microchip implant comatose non-responsive sleep state (or under hypnosis but I am not able to "remember" most of what transpires)---I urge people to boycott them to not vote for the continuation of a mafia (italian) nazi (german) regime of the pelosi regime (using her name is the most accessible because newsom is intermarried into the pelosi crime unit family but there are many others) but out of california and into the next upcoming election< jeffries and newsom are trying to obtain permission to become top leaders although newsom has not appeared outwardly defunct< as he is not ordered to "do nothing" as jeffries was under the white supremacist post-clinton genocidal bigot racist regime crime empire---but I urge people to not allow them into power jeffries has already been noted as a "do nothing" effete and ineffectual player in the allowance of white supremacy to rise to power> he was put there by pelosi as a very subtle ploy to have as demonstrable "failures" of the democrat party the black and the jew (jeffries and schumer mostly) and to replace them are white blonde women democrats and of course newsom to fill the ostensible failure of the minorities who were put into power exactly precisely to put defunct ordering sicophants into these positions so that white blonde democrats would be the favorable alternative to what appeared like a failure. the policies that this group of nazi mafia hate have been trying to force upon me is absolute submission to their greedy stupid power-over demands for them to be put in charge--no critical thinking they poison blank my brain out tortrure me and then torture me to obtain original ideas they appear to not be able to fathom of anything but sleazy, fake benevolent (demon_cracy and christ-shitshow-ian posturing, imitating others as routine they can't even think of a single original concept for the fake posturing they imitate to appear like benevolent do-gooders fighting for their constituents)> but jeffries came out of his years of silently participating in having others torture me to join with the white nazi trash pair or trio of the english, american and german rape scum sleazy disgusting "MEN" who have spent sixteen hours per day abusing me because they can"t succeed unless they obtain this contract of forcing sex slavery submission out of me__my family also waiting for this after having my disability cut off my body poisoned and mutilated and blocking health care and then denying me any help and then laughing and participating with nazis so they and their children obtain free whorewood jobs and lucrative contracts, plus the endless money from the crypto scam trump insituted at the beginning of his term--the blonde nazi democrat warren came with german nazis threatening to shoot me in teleportation at the week of the beginning of the trump pay-for-play crypto revenue-generating dinner parties. Pelosi attacked me at the exact moment of stimulus checks being sent to each state and governor, with nazi s-negger the former ca governor sitting threatening to have me killed for saying no to being raped and abused exploited by s-negger and then now it's her in-law newsom coming at me with violent torture rape and abuse with english and german nazis who are embraced hugged for their endless hateful murder violence aimed at me by the white nazi trash shit women of whorewood, the ones who have stolen ideas an dhad my body mutilated and poisoned into an unimaginable huge bloated shape dying from poisoning and continuing to have the poison pounded into my body by pig white nazi trash shit creeps---taking turns 16 hours per day of abuse--my hair expanding in grey my body shriveling in old age from my life force depletion fighting every day to get them off me writing about it not writing about it--and now the german sick fuck from this awful stupid band whois a psy-ops agent of the nazi regime in germany is embracecd by all the ugly nazi plastic surgery skank nazi womenj--sophia loren like shitalina and all the nazi women make this point of having me raped beaten and abused more than half of every day, day after day after day after day after day after day and night after night in deep slelep years and years and years--they rush back after 4 years of abuse 50 years of abuse 15 years of abuse they rush to scream how much more "beautiful" they are than me__i sit in these situations everything is a filthy mess they have scum pouiring stinking black rotten filth into my home every day into my body and etc--i am so drained I can't take care of my body I fight to exercise the poison out of my body but the looming huge grey streak and my inability to even have the energy to dye my hair--which I cannot do because i have been collapsing in sheer sick exhaustion as while in unprotected state (not covering 6 layers of protection around my head so they can't make more hair permanntly fall out, most of my hair is gone from poisoning to my scalp for years with fungus and chemicals and I could not stop it--my body is literally covered every inch with blemishes from nightly slashes and poisons smeared on my skin every part of my body has been mutilated mybody has been so poisonhed it is aq hard mnisshappen huge b lock of hard poiso internally embedded--every day they abuse me 16 hours per day so badly i cannot do anything but exzercise an try to put healing ointment son myu skin and body as they yell insults and death threas while nazi men like newsom and their endless black and brown nazi shit minionhs threaten myu life-the first week of newsom the dirty nasty filthy scum crap he had a black and latino pair of entertiners make murder threatfs at me and since then he haqs had ther english thug abuser and rape me while they all watch on smug and laughinbg as my body sags, is broken down as hese ugly dirty women like loren make smug yerlling insults about how muchy more "beautiful" THEY ARE---I hjave to repeat endlessly that decades of poisoning and abuse cannot make anyubody beautiful in comparison to a plastic surgery nazi pig ape skank who is handed everytghing while everything is destroyed and taken from me---this goers on and on, but jeffries is such an incompetent as is newsom I URGE PEOPLOE to stop following the dictates of this nazi regeim and do not put them in poWER AIt is just yet another day of yet another famous, top political leader coming to get it's free deal by abusing, screaming, insulting me with racist epithets and yelling threatening to kill me --in the middle of the night where I am, so it was convenient for the time zone of this next selfish murdering abuser who I did not do anything to--I wrote yesterday about the utter failure of the democrat party and it's collusion with fascist nazism---this next abuser rushed to threaten my life yelling into my face using teleportation, 3 a.m. they forced my nervous system to wake up like it was 5 a.m. on a high speed trip of either injected drugs while sleeping or the microchip implant system throughout my spine. this person used antisemitism--as a black male it was easy for him to do apparently and he's connected with the white male who is benefiting from the white woman who put this black man in power; because of his laxity in taking bold and direct action against the trump regime, like all of them who saw have seen have participated have benefitted by saying and doing nothing to stop this torture and murder of me, nothing to help me participated in the abuse of me for having written for help for my life to not be sucked out of my body--he came yelling with white male nazi team and it's white female nazi team of all "sides" sitting silently because their black enabler was going to get a free deal by yelling screaming and abusing me. I Had to fight back I was trying to ignore them but could not after a while the white nazi males obtained more "alternative" fighting against fascism information out of me the german nazi "punk" was sitting directing his stupid american partners to abuse me as usual for his sucking of my life force and ideas for his own use--as they have not stopped doing this to me for over 15 yearrs. They are putting "grey hair" help videos in a plethora of youtube onslaught about my appearance__they yell abuse suck my life force out so badly every single day that i literally have zero energy left--this was hakeem jeffries with the german punk and newsom and maga noem all watching as the black nazi was accosting threatening to kill me so his lower status due to the inaction he has taken would be somewhat lessened with his partnership with newsom for a future of endlelss democrat nazis out of the pelosi nazi fake opposition regime endlessly torturing me for their promotions and endless money upgrades for their nasty careers of having me beaten raped and tortured into grey hair dying from stress zone--so they can profit. The abuse lasted for about 3 hours as i began screaming as usual, the daily grey hair routine of old age dying from stress shitting their poison out yelling concepts which they suck out to use as their own--asking me for advice asking me to come work for him (they all want me to "join" their team so they can force me into somehow being exploited andp ut into their convenient slots of whatever they are forcing out of me--a life of having no opportunity being forcedd into rape "relationships' with hateful and nasty dirty sleazy sick "men" who drug and rape me, my body and brain deluged with drugs and mind control nervous system stimulus and subliminal "love" "commands" programming whle they abuse me and steal rob and then dump me after destroying what they can of all that I have; sometimes nearly killing me in the past few years my life has been endlessly threatened and seriously jeapordized by the men who rape me--I am "forced" into a sexual response I struggle to get them off me I fight to get them off me; they have me hit by cars they have me poisoned they have parts of my body severed out by their teams and they destroy my property and they get, with their wives children and friends and partners elevated national attention as they go off laughing and partying to the bank, to top awards and I remain fighting another sick parasite endlessly lunging at me with murder threats abuse offers that I am stuck fighting to say no every day. I had writen of the endless democrat assault on me so this person took the oppoortunity along with the "he's not a nazi" shrill retort o all the nazi rapist enabler nazi cheerleader rape women who hug and embrace the nasty german obviously nazi creep sitting there out of germany telling american politicians what to do. Not a single shred of humanity decency they all humiliate call me names imply I am nothing a loser a bitch as they try to force me into their little entrapment to exploit me yelling screaming. I told jeffries after the 3 hours of life-threatrs murder threats racist hate screaming at me that he should actually do something rather than rap some cool slogans. It was hateful it was the typical black response--having obtained it from farrakhan for years, oprah for years, crocket for years, from jews it has been all nastiness the three jews out of the entire planet who have ventured to come for have sexually assaulted threatened abused and gone off with their blonde female wives and partners being embraced by blonde nazi culture for their role---so dying once more; once more the internet has been turned off in the midst of writing this. as usual another black nazi has come to demonstrate in front of the german sick rapist thug scum that he's fully into nazi antisemitism as usual all jews remain silent-my "family" is right there lunging at me to get this deal out of my "submission to some sleazy nasty dirty scumbag rapist or dirty creep forcing itself on me as I struggle my hair turning grey sick and fighting to get the poisons out of my body--another day I could not just "ignore" the ugliness and hate of yet another sick and drty life-fuck politician, newsom right there as usual ordering non-stop abuse and hate directed at me for his sleazy nasty presidential campaign . after months of his slapping my face calling me bitch sticking his dirty greasy penis into me (but not raping) calling me a dirty prostitute and ordering jasmine crocket his black surrogate outright antisemitic minority minion partner, the german ugly dirty fuck brings on a daily basis a slew of americans who will abuse torture me he has brought on the most murdering psycho sick shit who have attacked me for decades. the stupid commentary of sophia loren regarding defending this german ape fuck is that he's not a nazi and that I am lying that his obvious lying --the juxtaposition of his idealistic antifascist lyrics compared with his actual reality behavior and words towards me for obvious racist reasons performing exactly like a nazi and making nazi references--like all the nazi fucks of maga, deny it emphaticall while they are doing it in your face. Jeffries finally stopped threatening me I stopped yelling at him after I told him that i didn't want to dislike him but because he has done nothing and participated in more abuse (the yelling into my face is done every day as it is a murder action at this level of daily abuse poisoning torture abuse threats endlessly done by sleazy dirty filthy fucking scumbags who I try to "just ignore' so they scream death threats into my face for writing about how they have done nothing have partnered with nazis to have me killed and raped for YEARS as jeffries has done--his partner cory booker (or the new jersey senator black male) did this with lyndsey graham a few months ago--screaming fascisticvally into my face for approval; by graham to run for president in 2028--and newsom has done this for months because I moved to california (address) and jeffries is obtaining nazi approval to do whatever the f** he is planning on faking and lying about to the public to retain his position because like mandami and ben shapiro 2 weeks ago, this germanm "punk" has a jackpot of money operating behind him, obviously he has the nazi party backing him all the shit of the shit who have participated in attacking me whose positions are slightly in peril or they want to get a promotion rush to hit abuse and threaten me in front of german raty ape pig shit this filth scum creep I tried to give advice to, but also I knew he was another piece of greasy shit who has participated in my life being threatened in germany and for many decades so I wrote a sentence that was not complimentary but also a truth that is uncomfortable. So he could get more empowerment from the nazi group backing him, he is abusing me in deadly ways every single day and whorewood and indeed, congress is fully supporting him. Duh, if he were a goddamn antifascist punk musician without a huge jackpot of the sleazy greasy money that the corrupt rats of congtress and whorewood all feed off and will rape beat and torture to obtain--as in this sick contract out on me which is a feeding trough for every rat pig ape on the planet---

RIGHT NOW I cannot publish this post, hackers are blocking in addition to everything else the update function so it remains blocked--I FOUGH...