Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Peering into the past, the unnamable crime committed generationally. Prosaic redundancy outside of the realm of the quotidian refuted.as poetic didacticism.

Thus, the confutatis confusion of writer's verbal spewing spouting and pimping and pampered luxurious delving into the imaginatory vectors of the spiraling sinews of Life's ironies.

Reading the onus of my malification bonus, inherited AS A CURSE FROM a Step-child I was brought up by:

"The literary imagination is a choice, a left fork off the quotidian. If the splitting were only in the mind and not the world, deep imaginative reflection would be schizophrenic. But Kafka locates the commonplace in that deep realm of the imagination. In the work of Kafka and Beckett, the barrier between the imaginative and real worlds has dissolved. K. of The Castle strives in the imaginative world while acting out his desire in the quotidian. The same in essence is true for the Unnamable. We interpret and understand his struggle as though it took place in the mind of someone in our world desperate to keep the intimations of his uniqueness from being smothered. Wordsworth's Intimations Ode provides a useful analogy: "trailing clouds of glory do we come / From God"; "Shades of the prison-house begin to close"; "And custom lie upon thee . . . / Heavy as frost." In Beckett, life extinguishes any intimations of the sacred. The self-the soul-is extinguished, and would be for the Unnamable if he were not crafty-wise and indefatigable.
We pull for him, impelled by our recognition of different aspects of the hero, and the different planes on which his representation has a powerful significance. The Unnamable, as epic hero for our times, merges into the aspect of the condemned Jew, one of the vanquished, repelled by life yet clinging to it, as if his ghostly existence constituted an act of responsibility to those already murdered. …"--



I have problems with writing due to all the hacking/drugging/mind conttrol tech continuously aimed into my brain.

The page when I post and publish appears as a jumbled mess, due to hacking. The script is tiny, the links are posted as weird nearly opaque hues. I posted the link to my step-father's review and quotes twice because I could not open the first link and thought a mistake or hacking insert had blocked the link from appearing. It did not appear when I tried to open it after publishing so I posted thelink twice without delting the first link! Ha. Both links open after a slight, but lengthy waiting time.
Reviewing articles written during that time when the ages were opening a brief moment in space and time when creativity and political awareness were merged into an explosion of imagination and inventive potentiallities for love, tenderness, kindness and awareness creativity. The articles in the Daily Illini from 1973 remind me of a time when I could talk to people and feel a deep resonance with another intelligent human being, authentic. Now there only appear what seem to be abosolutely stupid and dumb blank droids programmed with zero personality and what personality I do discover is so abominable, due to the stalking mentality, that they are not worth having any sort of emotion over. 

All I can do is read the old news and remember when there was a sparkling depth to the quality of the light, streaming into my bedroom as I lay in a bliss with the joy of a happy, loving home atmosphere, creative writers, musicians and artists converging at my house at parties where I laughed and played and people were lovely and beautiful. My Step-father, Gary Adelman, and my mother, Bette Adelman, would take long walks hand-in-hand. Kissing in the kitchen with passion and fighting to end War for all time. When the hippies could go shopping as yuppies, the black fumes of the backlash turned into a scirocco backlash lashing black death dust destruction, akin to Kali seeking revenge for too much love, too much gaiety, too much happiness for my family. Retribution in the form of a conservative backlash has in this current day, revolved into what I keep referring to as a fascist Nazi take-over of the United States.

It's not the old records, the old R&B funkadelic, the old movies, the old clothing fashion that the remnants of this movement are retained, but in the writing such as the words of the two links barely readable in the blog post (hacked, made barely visible, as the fascist Nazi hackers would stain, delete and vanish all reminders of a time when independence of thought was welcomed if it entailed keeping white males out of fighting and dying instead of black lives and whatever else dont' matter to the bigot fascist white males and their nasty female and minority minions.

Did I just have to end this brief jaunt down memory lane with the usual current event hate parallel because the hacking continues while I attempt to type this?

What a shame, a damn shame.

I must write obscurely with or without a dark lense because of the hacking and other impediments, the block to my brain from the tech, and the inability to think with this tech blasting my brain into some kind of tiny hole where I can't move beyond a few paragraphs written in jumbled blank meaning but very laden with intent and meaning, packed full of meaning but unable to organize due to the mind control program tech and drugging and etc.

Peace and Love, that movement, will always remain with me. Regardless of how much hate these empty, meaningless idiots pour into my jome, body and life, I feel lucky glad exalted compared with these disgusting blank stupid apes who attack me nightly and daily.

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Tears pouring out of my eyes from dirty sleazy greasy gavin old scum and his nasty and rotten ilk--he's always with this defunct scum rotten crap piece of silth arnold scum trash ni88er hate to inflict as much rape damage and destruction to me as possible--every day it's some mafia nazi fuck christian feminist nazi bigot rushing to violently threaten my life demanding that i honor them with praise while in truth serum mode all I do is call them the shit that they are--they ask me "why" so they can get ideas on how to appear they are fighting corruption becasue they are such sick and filthy shit themselves and are put in power because they are mental mind fuck operators fixated on obtaining a power cartel of nazi violent racism but disguised as their shit christian, democrat and feminist but oh...fighting racism only for blacks of course, as the black and brown and jews rush to violently assault me they are all praised for this given millions of dollars. Sabotaging my 16 months of fighting to get my subpoverty disablity reinstated they have not stopped torturing me with murder threats yelling abuse sleazy sick rape and violence psycholotical torture and physical torture using heart palpitations tears streaming out of my eyes hours every day morning night and then all kinds of hate while in deep sleep--my home stinking and foulu and endlessly blackened with stinking greasy muck. They ask me whether I think they are greaat the answer is always no they begin hitting me from side angles while I am sleeping and teleported I try to laugh off how sick and stpuid they are --this shit creep who rushed to assault me today for hours while I was obviously bedridden poisons shitting out day after day after they laughed about a huge plug the size of my hand (my hands are large) coming out of my body--only years and years of this hard poison coming out as they continue to poison me so I am perpetually shitting poison out, sick from being drgged and abused to the point of rage and hystericda physical violence litearlly every day in teleportation--these rancis fuckers are then promoted into senate position and president for both treating me like this and for obtaining a reaction of rage and violence out of me in deep healing sleep states, while awake after only the 18th year of non-stop torture due to the incompetence of all governments who are unleashing these types of rotten shit and scum with these drugs, murder mechanisms and the ultimate achievement of the shit scum nazi 4th reich: the total compliance of the worlld in participation in it's own enslavement and demise. THey have as usual made typing and thinking clearly impossible it's impossible to type the functions of the laptop are blocked completely.

  I try to remain "silent" because of the shit "advice" given me by scum partnering with the chinese who have fraudulent...