Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Peering into the past, the unnamable crime committed generationally. Prosaic redundancy outside of the realm of the quotidian refuted.as poetic didacticism.

Thus, the confutatis confusion of writer's verbal spewing spouting and pimping and pampered luxurious delving into the imaginatory vectors of the spiraling sinews of Life's ironies.

Reading the onus of my malification bonus, inherited AS A CURSE FROM a Step-child I was brought up by:

"The literary imagination is a choice, a left fork off the quotidian. If the splitting were only in the mind and not the world, deep imaginative reflection would be schizophrenic. But Kafka locates the commonplace in that deep realm of the imagination. In the work of Kafka and Beckett, the barrier between the imaginative and real worlds has dissolved. K. of The Castle strives in the imaginative world while acting out his desire in the quotidian. The same in essence is true for the Unnamable. We interpret and understand his struggle as though it took place in the mind of someone in our world desperate to keep the intimations of his uniqueness from being smothered. Wordsworth's Intimations Ode provides a useful analogy: "trailing clouds of glory do we come / From God"; "Shades of the prison-house begin to close"; "And custom lie upon thee . . . / Heavy as frost." In Beckett, life extinguishes any intimations of the sacred. The self-the soul-is extinguished, and would be for the Unnamable if he were not crafty-wise and indefatigable.
We pull for him, impelled by our recognition of different aspects of the hero, and the different planes on which his representation has a powerful significance. The Unnamable, as epic hero for our times, merges into the aspect of the condemned Jew, one of the vanquished, repelled by life yet clinging to it, as if his ghostly existence constituted an act of responsibility to those already murdered. …"--



I have problems with writing due to all the hacking/drugging/mind conttrol tech continuously aimed into my brain.

The page when I post and publish appears as a jumbled mess, due to hacking. The script is tiny, the links are posted as weird nearly opaque hues. I posted the link to my step-father's review and quotes twice because I could not open the first link and thought a mistake or hacking insert had blocked the link from appearing. It did not appear when I tried to open it after publishing so I posted thelink twice without delting the first link! Ha. Both links open after a slight, but lengthy waiting time.
Reviewing articles written during that time when the ages were opening a brief moment in space and time when creativity and political awareness were merged into an explosion of imagination and inventive potentiallities for love, tenderness, kindness and awareness creativity. The articles in the Daily Illini from 1973 remind me of a time when I could talk to people and feel a deep resonance with another intelligent human being, authentic. Now there only appear what seem to be abosolutely stupid and dumb blank droids programmed with zero personality and what personality I do discover is so abominable, due to the stalking mentality, that they are not worth having any sort of emotion over. 

All I can do is read the old news and remember when there was a sparkling depth to the quality of the light, streaming into my bedroom as I lay in a bliss with the joy of a happy, loving home atmosphere, creative writers, musicians and artists converging at my house at parties where I laughed and played and people were lovely and beautiful. My Step-father, Gary Adelman, and my mother, Bette Adelman, would take long walks hand-in-hand. Kissing in the kitchen with passion and fighting to end War for all time. When the hippies could go shopping as yuppies, the black fumes of the backlash turned into a scirocco backlash lashing black death dust destruction, akin to Kali seeking revenge for too much love, too much gaiety, too much happiness for my family. Retribution in the form of a conservative backlash has in this current day, revolved into what I keep referring to as a fascist Nazi take-over of the United States.

It's not the old records, the old R&B funkadelic, the old movies, the old clothing fashion that the remnants of this movement are retained, but in the writing such as the words of the two links barely readable in the blog post (hacked, made barely visible, as the fascist Nazi hackers would stain, delete and vanish all reminders of a time when independence of thought was welcomed if it entailed keeping white males out of fighting and dying instead of black lives and whatever else dont' matter to the bigot fascist white males and their nasty female and minority minions.

Did I just have to end this brief jaunt down memory lane with the usual current event hate parallel because the hacking continues while I attempt to type this?

What a shame, a damn shame.

I must write obscurely with or without a dark lense because of the hacking and other impediments, the block to my brain from the tech, and the inability to think with this tech blasting my brain into some kind of tiny hole where I can't move beyond a few paragraphs written in jumbled blank meaning but very laden with intent and meaning, packed full of meaning but unable to organize due to the mind control program tech and drugging and etc.

Peace and Love, that movement, will always remain with me. Regardless of how much hate these empty, meaningless idiots pour into my jome, body and life, I feel lucky glad exalted compared with these disgusting blank stupid apes who attack me nightly and daily.

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My hair has turned completely gray on one side of my hairline in the past year of literal torture to death on a daily basis accumulative stress from 16 hours or more of death threats screaming and me unable to stop reacting--the drugging which is pumped into my body while sleeping and inserted into my food with a series of brain and spine/nervous system implants has rendered me incapable of hesitation to control the instant response which comes out within a fraction of a second to interrogation questions about all that I do so the filth shit scum who are stealing my ideas can just ask me after they have murder skits rape skits homeless skits imposed into my deep sleep state in the teleportation. Then waking up to them threatening my life asking me for more ideas so rotten hate white trash nazi shit and their minions can steal ideas and call me a stupid bitch in return make nasty racist comments after asking me for ideas--so rotten next nazi part latino scumbag closeted a$$-wipe dirty american with the german sinister psychopath nazi faux punk liberal is asking me about my healing remedies and ideas then hissing dirty jew and the problems of america are due to you (as in referencing the nazi justification for genocide that jews were and always are responsible for economic collapse and media deception and pedophilia (i.e. weinstein but nazis used this prior to the genocide as part of a social engineering tactic of total dehumanization and discrediting) I heard fuentes-rabies say that making any judgement on the blonde nazi kirk wife was just not his role to play--making judgements but instantly he uses every disgusting racial slur against me unjustified whereas the actions of the kirk widow probably are--only that as a part self-hating latino white supremacist he cannot utter a single word against the white nazi ilk he bows and scrapes to in deference which is why I call him an a$$-burrowing groper for the white nazi rat scum he worships while hissing hate judgements at me for defending myself against racism---something he cannot do instead he emphatically joins with the white nazis. I saw this behavior by brown skinned latinos as a routine rule rather than an oft-time behavior it was like a pandemic endemic in that cohort---and so I see this from him.I write this just in conjunction with everything else today--he continues to hack his goddamn videos or commentary of his crap--and the reason he joined in to the club of torture and racism against me was because I watched these videos he had formerly hacked--and because he is a sensation I wanted to understand the trend. I got frat boy beer drinking porno stupid thug stupid idiot screaming racist slurs at me and lavishing slave mentality worship of all things white nazi in this group for the past few days. A cheerleader closeted a$$-groping grouper for white nazi boys--

  this patch of grey hair is from years of literal screaming in rage all day and afternoon literally all day every day without a single day ...