Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Peering into the past, the unnamable crime committed generationally. Prosaic redundancy outside of the realm of the quotidian refuted.as poetic didacticism.

Thus, the confutatis confusion of writer's verbal spewing spouting and pimping and pampered luxurious delving into the imaginatory vectors of the spiraling sinews of Life's ironies.

Reading the onus of my malification bonus, inherited AS A CURSE FROM a Step-child I was brought up by:

"The literary imagination is a choice, a left fork off the quotidian. If the splitting were only in the mind and not the world, deep imaginative reflection would be schizophrenic. But Kafka locates the commonplace in that deep realm of the imagination. In the work of Kafka and Beckett, the barrier between the imaginative and real worlds has dissolved. K. of The Castle strives in the imaginative world while acting out his desire in the quotidian. The same in essence is true for the Unnamable. We interpret and understand his struggle as though it took place in the mind of someone in our world desperate to keep the intimations of his uniqueness from being smothered. Wordsworth's Intimations Ode provides a useful analogy: "trailing clouds of glory do we come / From God"; "Shades of the prison-house begin to close"; "And custom lie upon thee . . . / Heavy as frost." In Beckett, life extinguishes any intimations of the sacred. The self-the soul-is extinguished, and would be for the Unnamable if he were not crafty-wise and indefatigable.
We pull for him, impelled by our recognition of different aspects of the hero, and the different planes on which his representation has a powerful significance. The Unnamable, as epic hero for our times, merges into the aspect of the condemned Jew, one of the vanquished, repelled by life yet clinging to it, as if his ghostly existence constituted an act of responsibility to those already murdered. …"--



I have problems with writing due to all the hacking/drugging/mind conttrol tech continuously aimed into my brain.

The page when I post and publish appears as a jumbled mess, due to hacking. The script is tiny, the links are posted as weird nearly opaque hues. I posted the link to my step-father's review and quotes twice because I could not open the first link and thought a mistake or hacking insert had blocked the link from appearing. It did not appear when I tried to open it after publishing so I posted thelink twice without delting the first link! Ha. Both links open after a slight, but lengthy waiting time.
Reviewing articles written during that time when the ages were opening a brief moment in space and time when creativity and political awareness were merged into an explosion of imagination and inventive potentiallities for love, tenderness, kindness and awareness creativity. The articles in the Daily Illini from 1973 remind me of a time when I could talk to people and feel a deep resonance with another intelligent human being, authentic. Now there only appear what seem to be abosolutely stupid and dumb blank droids programmed with zero personality and what personality I do discover is so abominable, due to the stalking mentality, that they are not worth having any sort of emotion over. 

All I can do is read the old news and remember when there was a sparkling depth to the quality of the light, streaming into my bedroom as I lay in a bliss with the joy of a happy, loving home atmosphere, creative writers, musicians and artists converging at my house at parties where I laughed and played and people were lovely and beautiful. My Step-father, Gary Adelman, and my mother, Bette Adelman, would take long walks hand-in-hand. Kissing in the kitchen with passion and fighting to end War for all time. When the hippies could go shopping as yuppies, the black fumes of the backlash turned into a scirocco backlash lashing black death dust destruction, akin to Kali seeking revenge for too much love, too much gaiety, too much happiness for my family. Retribution in the form of a conservative backlash has in this current day, revolved into what I keep referring to as a fascist Nazi take-over of the United States.

It's not the old records, the old R&B funkadelic, the old movies, the old clothing fashion that the remnants of this movement are retained, but in the writing such as the words of the two links barely readable in the blog post (hacked, made barely visible, as the fascist Nazi hackers would stain, delete and vanish all reminders of a time when independence of thought was welcomed if it entailed keeping white males out of fighting and dying instead of black lives and whatever else dont' matter to the bigot fascist white males and their nasty female and minority minions.

Did I just have to end this brief jaunt down memory lane with the usual current event hate parallel because the hacking continues while I attempt to type this?

What a shame, a damn shame.

I must write obscurely with or without a dark lense because of the hacking and other impediments, the block to my brain from the tech, and the inability to think with this tech blasting my brain into some kind of tiny hole where I can't move beyond a few paragraphs written in jumbled blank meaning but very laden with intent and meaning, packed full of meaning but unable to organize due to the mind control program tech and drugging and etc.

Peace and Love, that movement, will always remain with me. Regardless of how much hate these empty, meaningless idiots pour into my jome, body and life, I feel lucky glad exalted compared with these disgusting blank stupid apes who attack me nightly and daily.

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Social Security SSI Disability illegally cut off by the stench filth of arnold gavin and rump muck and the nazi coalition of whorewood who have made hundreds of MILLIONS OF DOLLARS IF NOT BILLIONS FROM HAVING STOLEN MY IDEAS--not paying anything and then destroying what I do have, then taking away sub-poverty social security because I am the only person in the united states fighting racism rather than playing a game of pretending and dancing around with posturing speeches and stupid songs and movie fodder k-rap, the rest look on doing nothing that is why rump came to power and then again without any resistance. //Otherwise, 6 years of grad school and all attempts to earn money literally blocked while paralyzing me with poison and abuse and drugging every day--trying to obtai money from a GoFundMe account & is it BLOCKED no resopnses it is hacked from general view; this has happened when I tried to earn money online my url is blocked from the internet upon a url activity search I have decoded their total block of any activity (including my blogs and facebook posts only met by enemies looking to murder rape torture whatever they can get away with to get their failing careers back into the nazi orbit. Shitnigger arnold and dirty nazi gavin one facing extinction for years until he got his chance to prove he's really a nazi kgb agent torturing me without end and bringing as many gold digger scum like nancy pig-lousy and then gavin scum old boy onto his nazi payroll thusly he is holding an "environment" conference which is a front for nazi endorsement of yet another obama nazi replica to put more white nazi wall street investors into the money destroying the investments of the lower ranks and with the aid of nazi republicans killing people using social security as an excuse---my ideas furnishing stupid ugly ape arnold with so much clout to enter back into whorewood his violence is endless death threats for not allowing him or his nazi jewish and black partners to abuse me without me responding in self-defense while they are drugging me with truth serum and abusing me into my brain non-stop all day and night until I do react--they spend hours abusing me until I do react just to justify more violence and it is a never-ending domestic violence cycle--ask shitnigger arno0ld's former wife if that rancid fuck she divorced is abusive as hell when the sexual "fun" and games are boring and he has to actually be anything but a rancid "me only" scumbag as he is programmed to be: thusly...under your gaze and silence and protection of that group of shit filth: Stinking sprays on my clothing ordered by the stench of arnold the sick fuck-ni88er termini88er nazi filth---who is using (perhaps...in part) my concepts of saving environment to push his nazi inclusion in american politics as his "platform"---his stench is conveyed onto my property just as his ILLEGAL VIOLENCE against me (i.e.lifting me up in "teleportation" while I am literally on the toilet grasping my abdomen due to the black horrific poisons I have spent 30 years fighting to eliminate from my body which this dirty ugly thug scum parasite calling himself "superior" has ordered put in because me being able to compete might mean his blank ugly dirty nazi mentality is lacking and void of originality as is he--thusly stealing my ideas and then having me slowly killed serves his nazi concepts perfectly--unfortunately supplied and protected by the demo-rat party of california old boy gavin scum and the nazi obamas the deception of which is still protected because they so fully support white nazi nationalism but are "actors" proclaiming how hip and not racist they are (not): thusly, with them all, they informed Social Security to literally change my status from "suspended" to NO BENEFITS they also illegally issued "benefits ended" (sorry can't remember the exact official term but not 'suspended" meaning can be reinstated but completely gone). They are yelling at me, the white nazi bigots who are answering my many phone calls about how and why and why have I not received any mail information on why benefits were cut off only being yelled at lied to and abused by phone--their only method of communication under orders of the obamas the trumps the dirty shitni88er arnold still controlling CA politics the pipeline of Nazi gold holocaust derived is ruling America and the Engllish crown equivalent as well; however, the lying yelling abusive people answering the SSA main line number demand with "suggestions" that I go in person to a field office to get the answers rather than THE LEGAL REQUIREMENT OF THEM REQUIRED IT IS LAW TO SEND ME INFORMATION informing me of t he situation what must be done. The former rules of demanding people go in person were changed under the Biden administration (partially due to Covid) thusly mail is preferred and they have cut down on social security so mail is the real preferred method of communciation which THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO COMPLY WITH. Simply lying and lying to me by phone refusing to send me any letters about my situation and ILLEGALLY demanding I go in person but yelling--literally yelling with hate and fascist abuse--that they "suggest strongly" that I go in person--asking me a spate of interragatory questions about the status of my case which were questions I would have to look up to get the precise dates and informtaion but on a main line call when I was trying to change my address because they wrote it incorrectly--assuming I would phone back--then yelling that because I answered one question one month wrong (after 15 months of my benefits being cut off) the white woman yelled "I can't verify your identity you must go in person to a field office I SUGGEST" I told her that firstly changing my address by phone does not require me to go in person to a field office, and that it was protocol for SSI recipients to phone in address change in fact it's their policy and recommendation--she screamed literally yelling "I will tell you what protocol is" as i hung up at that point. I told her that they need to send me mail so I can get information she told me that I have to spend all my money before they would consider and that I would have to goin person--absolutely ILLEGAL and not policy by LAW. In person as they have done by phone they will lie, once the lie is solidified as if it were an official meeting they can just write the terms and conditions and then have me arrested for one slip-up I made which I cannot help I had to SAVE MY L IFE FROM BEING POISONED and I had to leave thusly that is all they have and they are lying and illegally demanding improper protocol denying me information ILLEGAL all done by old boy gavin scum governor of ca and the shit whore ape former CA gov arnold shitnigger trash who is such a foul and stinking lack of american values you all worship due to the energy of just stealin raping killing and robbing and then abusing anyone who can't fight back into "submission" that's all it takes---it's spread like a virus california hails that prick scum and his acolyte dirty nazi gavin old boy scum the lying fake smiles of the pig ape creeps and their illegal money schemes is what people really gravitate towards. I remain with my status literally blocked, the benefits cut off since February 2025 the man doing it in miami literally demanded I go in person to their office pay with cashier's check all my bank account balance (covid money stimulus payments and student loans) which are exempt. Telling them that these are exempt under law they yell abuse and just cut my money and refuse to send letters THEY ARE REQUIRED BY LAW TO SEND for a repayment schedule. They sent me a payment schedule without identifying anything other than a financial amount---not completely legal as they are supposed to let me know if benefits will be reinstated. I paid two months then never hearing anything I filled out economic hardship forms requesting from the California field office which dirty old scum gavin instructed, which they did quite happily it was a white nazi creep woman and then the usual california and american plantation system of minorities following orders, the more down they were on the ladder (in this case, Asians) the more sneering with lying contempt they had in their voices to get approval for the nazi slicing of employees out of social security this was their means of proving they will lie and kill people upon order by cutting off their survival money if they are not approved of by shit like old boy scum gavin who yelled "I don't want people like you in my State" so it's HIS State not a United States entity but HIS state--his control with arnold telling that rancid scum gavin what to say and do to become "president" all will be rigged. Since ugly dirty arnold grabbed with his filthy snorting sucking body and system onto this contract that ugly stupid rancid fuck has had people threaten my life repeatedly he has done it repeatedly has abused insulted punched raped and brought in at least 300 or more people to abuse me in just the last 2 months--that ugly rat roach parasite leech has since opened an "environmental" bullshit conference in his native Austria to sell off black nazi kamala harris as the puppet of the obama nazi uncle tom aunt jemima tap dancing team lovingly smiling with adoration into the faces of every rapist nazi-spewing shit white trash filth bucket out of germany and austria possible with ice cube and snoop dogg just violently abusing me on cue as well for years and YEARS AND YEARS. thusly, because I have actually fought against racism I am now cut off disability ILLEGALLY it is not illegal or against SSI rules to save covid money or student loans but they can just lie and yella t me and do whatever they want under this filth shit team. I moved they refuse to send a letter stating I have moved as such---they have literally taken off any benefits as me being a recipient on the SSA website after refusing to even respond to my economic hardship letter request zero letters with zero information BECAUSE THEY ARE OPERATING ILLEGALLY AGAINST THE LAW against me under orders of rancid stink stench arnold ugly filth trashnigger fuck and the obamas you all worship for their acting skills but still putting white wealthy above all but handing the poor a few little crumbs which are taken away instantly when their good friends the white nazis take power--promising if you just re-elect their pupet skank prostituted shit kamala with oprah and gyrating skank nasty dirty nazi black trash cardi b and j-lo and the rest of that shit nazi crap black circus and the "liberals" all will be hunky dorey and arnold will get more millions and control more politicians through the nazi gold pipeline all law will be only tendered for all who comply with being humiliated raped people l ike cardi b have been honored for selling black nazi plantation sex slavery honored endlessly as "freedom".