Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Peering into the past, the unnamable crime committed generationally. Prosaic redundancy outside of the realm of the quotidian refuted.as poetic didacticism.

Thus, the confutatis confusion of writer's verbal spewing spouting and pimping and pampered luxurious delving into the imaginatory vectors of the spiraling sinews of Life's ironies.

Reading the onus of my malification bonus, inherited AS A CURSE FROM a Step-child I was brought up by:

"The literary imagination is a choice, a left fork off the quotidian. If the splitting were only in the mind and not the world, deep imaginative reflection would be schizophrenic. But Kafka locates the commonplace in that deep realm of the imagination. In the work of Kafka and Beckett, the barrier between the imaginative and real worlds has dissolved. K. of The Castle strives in the imaginative world while acting out his desire in the quotidian. The same in essence is true for the Unnamable. We interpret and understand his struggle as though it took place in the mind of someone in our world desperate to keep the intimations of his uniqueness from being smothered. Wordsworth's Intimations Ode provides a useful analogy: "trailing clouds of glory do we come / From God"; "Shades of the prison-house begin to close"; "And custom lie upon thee . . . / Heavy as frost." In Beckett, life extinguishes any intimations of the sacred. The self-the soul-is extinguished, and would be for the Unnamable if he were not crafty-wise and indefatigable.
We pull for him, impelled by our recognition of different aspects of the hero, and the different planes on which his representation has a powerful significance. The Unnamable, as epic hero for our times, merges into the aspect of the condemned Jew, one of the vanquished, repelled by life yet clinging to it, as if his ghostly existence constituted an act of responsibility to those already murdered. …"--



I have problems with writing due to all the hacking/drugging/mind conttrol tech continuously aimed into my brain.

The page when I post and publish appears as a jumbled mess, due to hacking. The script is tiny, the links are posted as weird nearly opaque hues. I posted the link to my step-father's review and quotes twice because I could not open the first link and thought a mistake or hacking insert had blocked the link from appearing. It did not appear when I tried to open it after publishing so I posted thelink twice without delting the first link! Ha. Both links open after a slight, but lengthy waiting time.
Reviewing articles written during that time when the ages were opening a brief moment in space and time when creativity and political awareness were merged into an explosion of imagination and inventive potentiallities for love, tenderness, kindness and awareness creativity. The articles in the Daily Illini from 1973 remind me of a time when I could talk to people and feel a deep resonance with another intelligent human being, authentic. Now there only appear what seem to be abosolutely stupid and dumb blank droids programmed with zero personality and what personality I do discover is so abominable, due to the stalking mentality, that they are not worth having any sort of emotion over. 

All I can do is read the old news and remember when there was a sparkling depth to the quality of the light, streaming into my bedroom as I lay in a bliss with the joy of a happy, loving home atmosphere, creative writers, musicians and artists converging at my house at parties where I laughed and played and people were lovely and beautiful. My Step-father, Gary Adelman, and my mother, Bette Adelman, would take long walks hand-in-hand. Kissing in the kitchen with passion and fighting to end War for all time. When the hippies could go shopping as yuppies, the black fumes of the backlash turned into a scirocco backlash lashing black death dust destruction, akin to Kali seeking revenge for too much love, too much gaiety, too much happiness for my family. Retribution in the form of a conservative backlash has in this current day, revolved into what I keep referring to as a fascist Nazi take-over of the United States.

It's not the old records, the old R&B funkadelic, the old movies, the old clothing fashion that the remnants of this movement are retained, but in the writing such as the words of the two links barely readable in the blog post (hacked, made barely visible, as the fascist Nazi hackers would stain, delete and vanish all reminders of a time when independence of thought was welcomed if it entailed keeping white males out of fighting and dying instead of black lives and whatever else dont' matter to the bigot fascist white males and their nasty female and minority minions.

Did I just have to end this brief jaunt down memory lane with the usual current event hate parallel because the hacking continues while I attempt to type this?

What a shame, a damn shame.

I must write obscurely with or without a dark lense because of the hacking and other impediments, the block to my brain from the tech, and the inability to think with this tech blasting my brain into some kind of tiny hole where I can't move beyond a few paragraphs written in jumbled blank meaning but very laden with intent and meaning, packed full of meaning but unable to organize due to the mind control program tech and drugging and etc.

Peace and Love, that movement, will always remain with me. Regardless of how much hate these empty, meaningless idiots pour into my jome, body and life, I feel lucky glad exalted compared with these disgusting blank stupid apes who attack me nightly and daily.

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Over EIGHT HOURS trying to use the internet; not able to access whatsoever social security administration main page or the download page at reginfo.gov (ssa.gov does not come up at all). I must contact that administration I must download forms and it is being blocked the url's are blocked completely. The functioning of the laptop has been severely compromised by hackers who rushed into my room for the 10 minutes i had to do something out of the room today, I returned the time had been changed to a different time zone, which means they correlated the time to the region where the hackers are--taking control over my laptop with keystroke logging, rootkits, etc. The screen went black, the internet would not turn on whatsover, and so I have just spent over 8 hours doing resets and recoveries and fighting to clean out the system and the problems all remain after all that--no vpn no access to the sites I need--just to use the internet for this long is unbelievable they are turning the wifi off every 30 seconds to 2 minutes...(repeat in the next few sentences but I am rewriting now--I had meant to say that the "best that should happen to whorewood et all gmbh congress is that they are demoted, best being for them what really should be happening is total recall they should be ousted I really just send this out to get them most of them all out. I will not help them to have a continuation of any resemblance to a monopoly--the politicians are a sinister joke to the united states' legacy and the so-called "actors" are putridity revulsion glorified by posturing plastic surgery and sequels and stolen ideas from me. Threats and more threats from a former whorewood turned politician turned whorewood the usual progression digression--relying on having me beaten raped and tortured poisoned mutilated for over 10 years, he is loathe to give up his free ticket to everything based on the torture of me, as well as the filth and shit crap of whorewood who you all cheer on regardless of all that I write of how foul and dirty they really are. Well America, you still love those who are foul and rotten so I can't say much about America any longer I am just trying to live my life and get them off me; they should be made to pay me for the years of blocking my progress in life, in nearly killing me rape and rape without end--and threats on all sides and every kind of death threat going on and on in the last 6-10 months because "they" all knew that it was going down to this level long ago--lower and lower they go, base and baser all glorified filthy.// I am barely able to write this as a kind of outreach to anything other than the hate org internationale which has put so much malware on my laptop--they poured horrific malware on my laptop while I was out of my little torture prison room for less than 10 minutes. I have vital business to do tomorrow and for the next few days, and like last week and the week before, they are hacking hundreds of thousands of files onto my system, blocking ALL GOVERNMENT SITES and the person responsible came to attack me and threaten my life today for fighting in my defense--the group of parasites sitting in the usual chairs watching as yet another politician threatens to kill me, it's now routine for democrats and repubs to threaten my life for fighting in my defense. they all have a stake in this contract, as do their little tykes children and associates. //I cannot access the internet for more than 30 seconds to 2 minutes, social security is completely blank and will not come up no matter how many times I delete all files, do a full recovery (2 resets to day 2 recoveries, totaling 8 hours non-stop fighting and cannot access ssa.gov nor the form that was sent to me fuzzy, crooked which I am supposed to sign and fill out and send and return--or phone. I am trying to access the form and ALL SITES are blocked, literally no matter what I do I am unable to even get into social security administration's page. The malware they put on my system turned the screen black and it just remained black until I had to turn off, fight to get into a reset because I could not access internet whatsoever to do a recovery--the "clean" function for the c-drive required 30 minutes per each recovery and 15 minutes or longer per reset, which added time as well. The VPN panel will not open whatsoever. It opens after I initially perform the recovery but once I clean out the c drive and turn on the internet, which comes on for 30 seconds to 2 minutes (it is staying on now as I fight to write this, because the terrorists are being promoted for me writing about how sleazy, hateful and disgusting they are and abusive and deadly and how insidious sleazy and hateful violent nasty nazi creepy they are--it emboldens them the people controlling them and giving the directives literally pay them to induce me to write these posts. I must make vital phone calls tomorrow and have access to both vpn, the websites for the government (yes, the person who is most responsible for government showed up, so it is no secret who is doing this he let it be known to thwart my attempts to just obtain my disablity benefits once more rather than being absolutely destitute, and destroyed which is what they have been working to do, barely keeping me alive all I do is fight for my life every day. The leeches remain fixated on remaining as parasites on my life, every moment they are latched on to get their deals and to desensitize me to life and joy and life and everything else they are such hateful and ugly nasty life-screw operators. and so, they are blocking my internet once more spending hours I need to heal and sleep from endless fighting to get the poisons out of my body, which this filthy group which had me poisoned for 16 years is waiting impatiently for me to get the poisons out so they can force some hateful bigot leech rapist scumbag on me so they can have their "baby" and then have me killed and get the empire of shit movies and media exposure for politicians combined---me seemingly the fulcrum of that scum group I never want to see them promoted only demoted--at best.

When I write "demoted at best" I mean that the "best" would be them utterly gone, but at "best" meant that for...