Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Peering into the past, the unnamable crime committed generationally. Prosaic redundancy outside of the realm of the quotidian refuted.as poetic didacticism.

Thus, the confutatis confusion of writer's verbal spewing spouting and pimping and pampered luxurious delving into the imaginatory vectors of the spiraling sinews of Life's ironies.

Reading the onus of my malification bonus, inherited AS A CURSE FROM a Step-child I was brought up by:

"The literary imagination is a choice, a left fork off the quotidian. If the splitting were only in the mind and not the world, deep imaginative reflection would be schizophrenic. But Kafka locates the commonplace in that deep realm of the imagination. In the work of Kafka and Beckett, the barrier between the imaginative and real worlds has dissolved. K. of The Castle strives in the imaginative world while acting out his desire in the quotidian. The same in essence is true for the Unnamable. We interpret and understand his struggle as though it took place in the mind of someone in our world desperate to keep the intimations of his uniqueness from being smothered. Wordsworth's Intimations Ode provides a useful analogy: "trailing clouds of glory do we come / From God"; "Shades of the prison-house begin to close"; "And custom lie upon thee . . . / Heavy as frost." In Beckett, life extinguishes any intimations of the sacred. The self-the soul-is extinguished, and would be for the Unnamable if he were not crafty-wise and indefatigable.
We pull for him, impelled by our recognition of different aspects of the hero, and the different planes on which his representation has a powerful significance. The Unnamable, as epic hero for our times, merges into the aspect of the condemned Jew, one of the vanquished, repelled by life yet clinging to it, as if his ghostly existence constituted an act of responsibility to those already murdered. …"--



I have problems with writing due to all the hacking/drugging/mind conttrol tech continuously aimed into my brain.

The page when I post and publish appears as a jumbled mess, due to hacking. The script is tiny, the links are posted as weird nearly opaque hues. I posted the link to my step-father's review and quotes twice because I could not open the first link and thought a mistake or hacking insert had blocked the link from appearing. It did not appear when I tried to open it after publishing so I posted thelink twice without delting the first link! Ha. Both links open after a slight, but lengthy waiting time.
Reviewing articles written during that time when the ages were opening a brief moment in space and time when creativity and political awareness were merged into an explosion of imagination and inventive potentiallities for love, tenderness, kindness and awareness creativity. The articles in the Daily Illini from 1973 remind me of a time when I could talk to people and feel a deep resonance with another intelligent human being, authentic. Now there only appear what seem to be abosolutely stupid and dumb blank droids programmed with zero personality and what personality I do discover is so abominable, due to the stalking mentality, that they are not worth having any sort of emotion over. 

All I can do is read the old news and remember when there was a sparkling depth to the quality of the light, streaming into my bedroom as I lay in a bliss with the joy of a happy, loving home atmosphere, creative writers, musicians and artists converging at my house at parties where I laughed and played and people were lovely and beautiful. My Step-father, Gary Adelman, and my mother, Bette Adelman, would take long walks hand-in-hand. Kissing in the kitchen with passion and fighting to end War for all time. When the hippies could go shopping as yuppies, the black fumes of the backlash turned into a scirocco backlash lashing black death dust destruction, akin to Kali seeking revenge for too much love, too much gaiety, too much happiness for my family. Retribution in the form of a conservative backlash has in this current day, revolved into what I keep referring to as a fascist Nazi take-over of the United States.

It's not the old records, the old R&B funkadelic, the old movies, the old clothing fashion that the remnants of this movement are retained, but in the writing such as the words of the two links barely readable in the blog post (hacked, made barely visible, as the fascist Nazi hackers would stain, delete and vanish all reminders of a time when independence of thought was welcomed if it entailed keeping white males out of fighting and dying instead of black lives and whatever else dont' matter to the bigot fascist white males and their nasty female and minority minions.

Did I just have to end this brief jaunt down memory lane with the usual current event hate parallel because the hacking continues while I attempt to type this?

What a shame, a damn shame.

I must write obscurely with or without a dark lense because of the hacking and other impediments, the block to my brain from the tech, and the inability to think with this tech blasting my brain into some kind of tiny hole where I can't move beyond a few paragraphs written in jumbled blank meaning but very laden with intent and meaning, packed full of meaning but unable to organize due to the mind control program tech and drugging and etc.

Peace and Love, that movement, will always remain with me. Regardless of how much hate these empty, meaningless idiots pour into my jome, body and life, I feel lucky glad exalted compared with these disgusting blank stupid apes who attack me nightly and daily.

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The Ugly, dirty sleazy filth of Krispy Kreame Krap Noem and the filth stupidity and incompetence of Whorewood with an assault that is just endless violence for me having watched a filth stupid mediocre movie slated to "win" a top award, and even moreso due to this violence upon me for being so ill from detox, and the never-ending parasitic feeding off life force that parasite noem the ugly sinister parasite leech feeds of monitoring my brainwaves and uses extreme violence against me when I am at my most sick from detox--which never ends I am always in a near-state of emergency illness from poisons and hard latched on shells of poison ripping out of my central nervous system, into my brain, my intestines emitting the most toxic of 30-year old and older poisons latched into my spine for most of my life. I was so ill I could not do more than sit staring at the laptop, fighting to get internet on and trying to block out the ugly sickness of leech parasite noem this filthy dirty skank latched onto attacking me and feeding off sadism and torture. She is sucking my life force out like the rest of these ape whore pig scum rat leeches but she brought on the filth stupid team of one battle after another--dirty filthy revolting creeps the blonde old nazi male actor who used to date dirty madonna yet another hypocritical racist with all her "liberal posturing" crap but sean penn is a rotten nazi bigot who got his entire team, with lugubrious leo the rotten endlessly "winning" leech on me for 15 years he and this shitalina crew have spent all day, every day, monitoring abusing asking for ideas this ugly dirty creep dicaprio has fed off this contract and assisted in rape torture poisoning of me to obtain his endless spate of undeserved top awards--the filthy swine rat came with the team of the usual black nazi skanks working alongside their blonde nazi "masters" so completely absorbed into nazi minion culture and trying along with KKK Krap noem to assault me to further rape white male supremacy culture--the black women rushing at me but they began while I was in my usual 12 hour deep sleep sickness state unprotected by all the layers I wear--so they doused my hair with damaging oils stinking and my hair is falling out from their poisons smeared into my hair-my hands are dried up they douse harsh chemicals on my skin--my cuticles cut into they are huge and swollen so my hands look like I've been working with acid for years with my hands unprotected. They came at me firstly by just hitting me in my deep sleep state--as shit whore ugly sick parasite leech noem the filth kkk krap has been doing with old newscum the white nazi prick pig rat ape from cali and then the rotten german nazi "punk not nazi'" filth she embraced watching him and the english shit pig rape me viciously taking turns--under her order as she then played hegelian dialectic "help" to "rescue" me from so much violence that under extreme drugging and poisoning and torture and beatings and rape I told this filthy ugly sick parasite that she is "beautiful" only under extreme stress and being murdered, essentially. Since then she has made sexual passes at me then had me beaten then abused then endless hours per day of questions after torture and beatings so the nazi white trash german shit rat can have original concepts to add to his cliche antifascist songs from 30 years ago (long story). But yesterday after such sickness life-threatening detox as they see me in utter sickness unable to move as they attack 12-16 hours per day unremitting every second all day into the night in deep sleep--no one could withstand this while I perpetually shit out decades old murder poisons and chemicals and drugs while they continue to drug and torture me.Watching this movie knowing that probably the shit team might come and attack me and under this utter sickness, totally all-encompassing in my lymphatic state my nervous system supersaturated with deadly poisons and drugs unable to do more than eat and watch videos needing to absorb my concentration wholly--not able to study or do anything in such sickness I watched this film hoping the shit team would not come and attack me. In that drugged up state I wrote on facebook that sean penn was a great actor---he rushed at me after he got (and dicaprio and shit ugly sick sinister noem the kkk krap piece of rotten parasitic vampire shit) as they just hit me and hit me in my deep sleep state. I had done nothing but watch this filth shit movie and noem came at me beginning with asking me to hit her, then demanding that I hit her, I said no so she began to hit me I flew into a frenzy to pound her out of my attack zone and out of my sphere---that is after 20 years and longer of being raped beaten while asleep tortured drugged and incapacitated by shit after shit nazi trash creep so it is now almost a reflex to fight them off me. She has been getting ugly white pig men who have since obtained lead roles in huge blockbuster movie deals from rape and beatings rape and abuse rape and torture ongoing all day all night day after day since shit rump came into office--which was while biden was still president by the way at least 6 months prior to the election the rump regime began the white trash nazi show of utter violence and rape by europigape trash shit--but once they got into office then it was hegseth bannon and now dirty ugly sleazy noem and with their permision the "anti-ice" movie bullshit of this group of so-called actors--who have NOTHING to say in their little horrid stupid interview of the cast they had nothing nothing to say they have zero intellect they are blank stupid sleazy empty parasitic nothings with no concepts completely banal and over-rated. Sean Penn, who probably had me under mind control while I was watching the movie had his black nazi plantation slave-mentality actors playing the "bold and sexualized animalistic" black revolutionaries to assault me so white nazi males and shit like noem can just point blank rape and rob and torture but blacks like them in the cast get a get out of plantation slave status free card only that they must remain in the big house with the other house slaves--they hope in beverly hills with more plantation awards for performing the exact opposite of what every "woke" movie purports to portray. The author of the book upon which the movie is based is probably dead or otherwise he might not be so happy with the result of this crappy film, set to become a top contender all say it will win the top award. It is not worthy and sean penn is nothing but a cheap and sick psychopath white supremacist as his role implies he was not acting, as a matter of fact. He had his black nazi slave attack me as I was fighting her off me, while dirty ugly noem the kkk krap watched on as usual, feeding off this watching me fight perpetually to put hate and violence in my sphere as much as possible to destroy me she feeds off the energy of sucking out my life spirit she is a parasite without end on my life. This ugly dirty leech is just endlessly latched onto me for her sadistic feeding frenzy and money and power accumulation. Ironic that this shit cast rushed with dirty dicaprio the leech as well to join with her and the movie is about shit like kkk noem and her violence and sickness but they don't even get nominally into the reality of what kind of hypocritical filth shit like ugly dirty noem is nor do they even acknowledge it in their own behavior when they assault me under the guidance of rotten noem so white supremacy will award them with best film actor all they can obtain. I wrote just as I had done with old scum newsum that he should become president after just watching him get his jollies on giggly about fighting the texas redistricting in california, the place I had just moved address to and he jumped to assault me I wrote on facebook to him that I support him in his endeavor and perhaps he could become president. I was a million percent under mind control from trauma poisoning drugging (drugging is continuous they never stop murdering me with poisoning through drugging for mind control purposes) when I realize that I was under mind control I retract the statements I had made such as when writing on facebook that penn should win an award he is a dirty ugly sinister slime like all the rest but so absolutely violent towards me it is unbelievable. He does not deserve an award he was not acting he was the only one in the film who had more than 1-2 facial expressions throughout the film.the rest are blank as personalities as are their acting skills the movie left me with a usual numb nothingness the book I am certain is much more powerful as usual they wrecked a great idea and turned it into whorewood hypocrisy. That is the essence of the mind control evoked through these shit rotten actors so-called--they are absolutely opposite in their personal money-cloying fame attacks (they now revolve around attacking me as dicaprio has for over a decade this slime dirty screaming hissing filthy creep goddamn get him off me they latch on forever these filthy fucks). they play these roles in these shitty-made violent and sexual-based movies with sexual and racist stereotypes then have a scriptwriter inject some "meaningful" concepts which are a basic flimsy basis of a seminal plot framework for concepts about idealistic endeavors to not have an unjust world. The shit actors at least since they began teleporting me in 2013 have literally put fascist nazism into lead roles in the government partnering with shit like MTG with scripts so she can claim she is playing opposite to the repug party just in time for the midterms to salvage her career. The same was done by musck and trump is playing his most favorites as opponents using whorewood scriptwriters. In essence, every plot of the theatrical media and politics is a script-written plot device by a whorewood-backed leadership backstage (nazi-paid and controlled) system. The point is to sell more white nazi trash paradigm and retain control using black nazi skanks like the filth who played in key roles in this one battle after another dumb and dumber movie violence as the main draw besides sex shit entity of this thing I watchd, ready to forget about it but I fell asleep without being able to protect my head and hands and feet and teeth--they also cut into my gum tissue as well as damaging my hair and skin my hands are as usual extremely damaged and etc..but they first just began hitting into my face as ugly noem advised them to do to trigger me--I was so ill I tried to ignore them--then they continued and continued then they used the throat constriction torture (microchip implant in my throat) then they made my heart palpitate until I finally got up and then the abuse of them literally rushing at me hitting me began to trigger me Once I began to fight back ugly rotten dirty old bigot penn (pig) began furiously punching at me. He began to kick me I grabbed his pig hoof and made him land on his back and hit him in the groin. He began screaming at me as dicaprio came to him and put his arm around him and said stupid things of comfort. I then fell back asleep to drown in sickness until they teleported me in the deep of night as penn came at me grabbing my breasts calling me the b-word hitting my face from a side angle while I was in deep theta sleep--into my face screaming I tried to ignore him he continued and continued. He then had me teleported to being homeless in a room full of blondish nazi americans laughing and saying stuipd things I called them white trash it was also subliminally coerced into my subconscious I was not thinking of what I was saying and I was indeed asleep in my prime body state in my real bed but teleported and saying these things. Penn came at me and came at me hitting grabbing my body screaming came at me with a knife slashing into my face and body they also had slashes on my skin in the teleported situation and surrounded by white nazi shit laughing and mocking and etc. //all of that because I fought back after they first began to hit me and hit me and hit me until I reacted, then because I reacted dirty sleazy ugly penn began this ultra violence and purportedly not only for white supremacy but also to try to oppress me completely, which has been the goal of dirty stupid blank noem although unbelievably she was governor of a State she is a calculating lying parasite that is the reason why nazi america put her into power this is the trend for maga and nothing more-- a lying slew of money-grabbing parasites sexual predator leeches and dirty life-sucking abuser psychopaths.

  Finally after 12 hours of torture beatings abuse sexual harassment and torture I told ugly penn that he deserved at least a nomination in ...